Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to be the best diver in the universe.

You must be telling yourself :

Don't worry about it, kiddo, because that Piss Diver can hook, stun, slow and knock-up any fuckabish he wants, so no one will be able to escape from him.

In other words, he can simply build tons of damage like Phreak to party all night with the ladies.

What's more? He has enough assets within him to escape any dirty situation, no problem!

Always use your Shield to farm if you know you're going to get hit to not lose any health.

Then, harass the KS master when he wants to farm by sticking your giga anchor in his ass to piss him off by forcing him to waste his Flash.

If that ugly dude's getting cocky in a two VS one situation, Buttfucking Hook-Stun-Slow-Shield combo him and show him that no one can run away from you.

Saving the 5-seconds man from a Pedobear gank is simple : a hook, a stun and a slow is all you need to walk off like a boss.

If you want to go for First Blood, attack your enemy, run away a bit to make him think that he has the advantage, Shield yourself and finish him off with an Ignite.

If you don't have that much health, wait until your teammate arrives to bait that fuckabish near your tower and Shield-Buttfucking Hook-Stun-Slow combo her for the kill

and now, sandwich her here to have the greatest threesome in your life.

Late game, you'll be able to show who's the most fearsome level 1 bastard in the League by ending a fight with a bang,

to show the wannabes why you hold the title of the Jungle Night Stalker King,

to swing your anchor like the boss that you really are

and that's why no one will ever bother fighting you head on.

Your Buttfucking Hook skill is the best to pickpocket the minions from anywhere if you don't have time to auto-attack them,

to travel faster than Spiderman

and to KS...

Your Shield skill is awesome to piss off your enemies because they'll never be able to hurt you

and that is why you can't die from a ninja attack from Tarzan's call girl or from the enemy's tower.

Your Slow skill can be used to save lives without putting yourself in danger and to have an easy time farming the minions.

Combine your Slow and Shield skills into a combo to farm faster than ever and you'll never waste your time hitting the minions one by one anymore.

Your Knock-up skill is great to fish a cocky fish diving in your net recklessly and to catch-up a running fuckabish before anyone else.

When someone's getting ready to facecheck a brush full of enemies, walk to her and stun her, walk ahead to pick up the kill when her ultimate is gone,

Buttfucking Hook the Night Stalker before she gets away, attack the KS master until your Knock-up is ready to use for another kill

and Flash-Slow-AutoAttack combo that kiddo to have the easiest Quadra Kill Steal of your life.

Seeing that your brother-in-law is in danger, come to his rescue by using a Buttfucking Hook in that cat's ass, Slow that booby ninja and kill her before she flashes away to safety.

But, never forget that you're big as fuck, so beware of the enemy's traps if you want to successfully send someone to hell.

If you're the one getting ninja ganked, you don't have to worry about anything because no one, that's right, no one can match up with you in a duel.

Now that you're fed and all, it's time to (YOU'LL DIE IN 7 DAYS HAHAHA).

When doing it, you don't even need to hide in the brush because you'll either take it so fast that no enemy will be able to take back what you stole

or the enemy will immediately run away at your sight because he knows that he has no chance to survive.

In teamfights, if you know that your team can't run away from the enemies,

you should initiate the fight with a Buttfucking Hook on the AD carry and prevent her from getting close to your team until she dies.

After that, take on the guy right next to you if you're too lazy to switch your target to someone else

and after swinging your anchor here and there, clean up the battlefield with a Buttfucking Hook-Slow combo.

That's it for today, people!

Don't forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos.

Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I'll only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.

Ciaossu!