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  • Desteni Interdimensional Interview: Regret - AA

  • This is AA, and I'm here to share my experience, within regret

  • and I found, an interesting point

  • a point that, has been

  • 'prominent', throughout my existence

  • and that is

  • accepting, and allowing myself to

  • to fear, dieing!

  • (smile)

  • to fear, 'not existing'

  • and, because of that fear

  • I did 'not' accept, and allow myself to

  • to 'speak', to 'act' to 'stand up' and do everything, and anything possible and

  • Risk! everything, of myself, everything and all, that I perceived to be important, or valuable

  • and 'speak out', and express, and act and do anything, and everything 'possible'

  • to stop! direct! sort out

  • What I, in common sense, 'saw' was unacceptable

  • and, I saw through out my existence, as I went through everything that I had experienced

  • that I had, so many opportunities! to make a difference, meaning to

  • to 'stop' something or someone, from what they were, 'existing as'

  • and continue- and continuing that I

  • 'Knew' was compromising! themselves compromising other beings

  • but I didn't, because of fear

  • because of

  • fear of losing, my own self definition - according to something, or someone

  • and, as I went through my entire existence, with my experience within it, I could see

  • How, me 'not' standing up, how me, 'not' Speaking how me 'not acting'

  • played, a very significant role, within where and how we are, 'at this very moment'

  • and that point right there, was also part of 'why' I

  • 'Wanted to end everything'

  • wanted to, 'stopped' everything wanted to 'just get out of here'

  • because I, couldn't live with myself I couldn't "bear"

  • existing, within what I knew, I did, 'and I did nothing about it'

  • I just continue doing the 'exact same thing', for eons of time

  • and I 'was aware' in those moments, 'I knew I was aware'

  • but yet I so easily and so simply, 'just shut the door', in that moment and

  • accepted and allowed 'ignorance'

  • But I realized! that, I'm Here

  • there is no way to, 'destroy' (smile) this existence, I've ~ tried (laugh)

  • I've done

  • and attempted, 'any and all methods possible'

  • while within my experience of regret

  • and shame, and sorrow and sadness

  • but what I also found fascinating is that

  • we have a tendency of wanting to give up 'so quickly', so fast, that

  • We don't consider, that maybe possibly facing, this that I'm experiencing inside myself

  • 'is the key'

  • that would, liberate me from, 'my past'

  • because in essence regret, can only exist

  • in judgments, of the past, in judgment of yourself of the past

  • and judgment, is when you 'observe you' within your past, from a point of 'opinion'

  • instead of 'insight', realization, and common sense in self-honesty

  • what I realized I have done is, constantly and continuously, existed in regret

  • and and- and shame, and sorrow and judgment! and sadness because of my past

  • because of, 'what I have accepted and allowed'

  • and, I've asked myself the question: But why!?

  • Why? have I always, 'carry my past', as a burden on my back through out 'eons of time'

  • and I realized that I have started 'defining myself' according to my experience

  • that, I believe that, what I am experiencing inside me 'is me'! and

  • that's as far as it goes!

  • that point of, 'me actually being able to Forgive myself'

  • me! actually being able to 'change myself', didn't exist!

  • and in that! I realize that

  • because that point didn't exist, that point of, realization of: You know what!

  • I can forgive myself

  • and in that self-forgiveness, let it go, actually stand up and change me

  • that because that point didn't exist, I didn't exist 'Here'

  • that I have, never, actually 'allow myself', to experience me 'Here', to 'live Here'

  • I have, 'grounded myself', in, what I have done 'in the past'

  • 'there'

  • and in that, never realized - 'Here'

  • from my own experience

  • give yourself the opportunity, to forgive yourself, and let go of the past

  • and real-lize you 'Here'

  • no matter 'how bad', your past may seem

  • self-forgiveness, you are, able to do

  • forgive yourself, unconditionally, let your past go inside yourself

  • transform and change you 'Here', in 'practical' self-action, in self-honesty

  • and 'realize' the gift, of regret

  • Thank you.

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Desteni Interdimensional Interview: Regret - AA

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