(applause)

We are here for the United State of Women!

(applause)

Mrs. Obama: Now, I know you all have had a busy, packed,

full day -- very inspiring, right?

(applause)

And hopefully, our conversation will live up to

the hype.

But before we begin, of course, I want to take a

moment to just acknowledge what has happened in Orlando

-- that even as we gather here today and we talk about

the challenges that women face, we have to remember

those that we lost in Orlando, as well as those

who were injured, and all of their loves ones, and know

that we will all continue to keep them in our thoughts

and prayers.

But the one thing I just want us all to know -- that

in tragic times like these, in this country, it's time

for us to come together, to love each other, to support

each other and not tear each other down.

(applause)

So I hope that that is one of the many takeaways that

we move forward with.

And I just love you all for the work -- the amazing work

you all have done today and that you do every single day.

So I'm going to turn it over to Oprah.

MS. WINFREY: Hello.

Mrs. Obama: We have Oprah Winfrey here.

(applause)

MS. WINFREY: And our First Lady of the United States.

(applause)

Mrs. Obama: Of America.

MS. WINFREY: Of America, not just of women, yes.

(laughter)

So I think that the fact that -- I've been watching

this being streamed all day, and the fact that there are

men here, women here of all ages -- young women,

maturing women -- and all walks of life is a move in

the right direction, would you not say?

Mrs. Obama: Absolutely, absolutely.

I'm just proud of all the work that's been done here.

So I agree.

MS. WINFREY: Well, I wanted to start with the issue of

self-value and self-worth.

Because over the years, I've interviewed thousands of

people, most of them women, and I would say that the

root of every dysfunction I've ever encountered, every

problem has been some sense of a lacking of self-value

or of self-worth.

And I know that we all know that we live in a world

where you are constantly being bombarded by images

that encourage you to be liked, literally.

And it's a lot to live up to.

And I wonder, particularly you, who have had to face

this as your own woman and as a candidate's wife, the

pressure of other people's expectations -- and what can

you share with our audience here and online that would

help us stand more inside ourselves and own that space?

Mrs. Obama: Very good question.

Well, one of the things that I always -- I tell my

mentees, I tell my daughters is that our first job in

life as women, I think, is to get to know ourselves.

And I think a lot of times we don't do that.

We spend our time pleasing, satisfying, looking out into

the world to define who we are -- listening to the

messages, the images, the limited definitions that

people have of who we are.

And that's true for women of color for sure.

There is a limited box that we are put in, and if we

live by that limited definition we miss out on a

lot of who we are.

But it takes taking the time to know who you are to be

able to deal with the onslaught of negative

messages that you're bound to get.

So for me, I came into this with a pretty clear

sense of myself.

And some of that comes with age.

Some of that comes with experience.

Some of that comes from being fortunate enough to

have been raised by a loving mother, strong, focused, and

a father who loved me dearly.

So I fortunately came into this situation with a really

clear sense of who I was.

So when you hear the smack-talking from outside

the world, it's easy to sort of brush that off.

Because I know who I am.

(applause)

MS. WINFREY: But when yo came in, there were the

world's expectations, there were other expectations.

What did you really expect?

Mrs. Obama: It' interesting, I really tried

not to limit myself by expectations.

MS. WINFREY: Because nobody grows up thinking "I'm going

to be a First Lady."

Mrs. Obama: Absolutely not.

And as you all know, when Barack was talking about

running, I was like, are you crazy?

I mean, would you just, like, chill out and do

something else with your life?

(laughter)

So I was working hard to try to get him to do the other

thing, so -- whatever that was.

So, yeah, absolutely, it wasn't something that I

could have planned for, could have expected from myself.

But one of the things I knew -- because people asked all

throughout the campaign what are your issues going to be,

what are you going to be like as First Lady, and I

said, I have to wait until I get there to figure out what

that's going to feel like for me.

I specifically did not read other First Ladies' books,

because I didn't want to be influenced by how they

defined the role.

I knew that I would have to find this role --

(applause)

-- very uniquely and specifically to me and

who I was.

So I came in thinking about who I wanted to be in this

position and who I needed to be for my girls, first of all.

So you remember, Malia and Sasha were little

itty-bitties when we came into office.

I mean, it still moves me to tears to think about the

first day I put them in the car with their Secret

Service agents to go to their first day of school.

And I saw them leaving and I thought, what on Earth am I

doing to these babies?

So I knew right then and there my first job was to

make sure they were going to be whole and normal and

cared for in the midst of all this craziness.

(applause)

And then I started to understand that if I was

going to protect them, I had to, number one, protect

myself and protect my time.

So I knew going into this role that I didn't want to

waste any time; that any time I spent away from my

kids -- and I actually took this on even before I became

First Lady, even as a lawyer, as a vice president

at a hospital.

One of the things I realized is that if you do not take

control over your time and your life, other people will

gobble it up.

If you don't prioritize yourself, you constantly

start falling lower and lower on your list, your

kids fall lower and lower on your list.

MS. WINFREY: So by the time you got here you knew how to

do that.

Mrs. Obama: I knew how to do that.

MS. WINFREY: I think that's one of the number-one issues

with women.

I never, in all my years of interviewing, have ever

heard a man say, you know, I just don't have the time, I

just don't, I don't find a way to balance.

Mrs. Obama: You know why?

Because they don't have to balance anything.

Sorry.

(laughter and applause)

And I hope that that is changing, but so many men

don't have to do it all.

MS. WINFREY: So how did you figure it out?

I've read the story -- I'm sure many of you have heard

the story of early on, you were going to a job

interview and you took Sasha with you to interview.

Mrs. Obama: Oh, yeah.

MS. WINFREY: We never heard, did you get that job?

Mrs. Obama: I did.

I did.

MS. WINFREY: Okay.

Mrs. Obama: I was the vice president of community

outreach for the University of Chicago Hospital.

(applause)

And I got that job because I didn't compromise.

Because before getting -- working at that job, I was

working as an associate dean.

I had had Malia, Barack was in the U.S.