So, whatwedoisweinternalizethisprocessofdealingwithmistakes. Wecreateaninternalcorrectionsofficerandthisinternalcorrectionsofficersisnowinchargeofcriticizingandblamingandcorrectingourbehavior.
So, thecorrectionsofficersistheonethatusuallycomesoutanytimeyoumake a mistake. Yourcorrectionsofficeristheonethatisresponsibleforsubtractingfromyourself-worth, basedonthemistakesthatyoumake.
Whenyouaredealingwith a mistakethatyou'vemade, itisveryimportantthatyoustepbackandrealizethatyoumadethebestdecisionthatyouthoughtyoucouldmakeatthetime.
So, ifyouweretojudge a childanddecreasethechildʼs self-worth, basedonthefactthathewasn't lookingwherehewasgoing, andthusmadethatmistakeandfell, youwouldbejudgingsomethingbasedonyourexpandedperspective.
It's a perspectivewhichthechilddoesnotshare. Butthisisthesamekindofthingyouaredoingwhenyouarelookingbackatyourselfrelativetothemistakesyouhavemade, regardlessofwhetheryouhavemade a mistakeonesecondagoor a yearagoorveryearlyoninyourlife.
Thatwas a previousyou. Itwas a wholedifferentperspectivewhichyouheld. So, it's goodtothinkofthatas a previousyou.
Youcan't lookbackatyourself, thepreviousversionofyou, in a differentwaythanyouwouldlookbackatthatchild. Youcan't expectthepreviousyoutoknowwhatyouknownow.
Itisbecauseofthatpreviousselfthatyouknowwhatyouknownow. So, ifanythingyoushouldbeextendinggratitudetowardsthewisdomthathascome, as a resultofthemistakeslaidoutbythepreviousyou.
Sometimes, self-hatelovestousetheexcuse, "but I knewbetterthantodothatand I stilldidit". It's easytothinkthatyoushouldfeelterribleaboutyourselfwhenitcomestomistakes, ifyouknewbetterthantodosomethingthatyoudid.
But, ifyouarebeatingyourselfupformistakesbasedonthatkindofperspective, itistimetounderstandmotivation. Motivationisthedirectresultof a perceivedneedordesire.
Andoften, wearecaughtbetweenopposingneeds. Forexample: Wemayhavethedesiretoloseweight, butinthemomentwemayeat a doughnutbecauseourdesiretoeat a doughnutisstrongerinthecurrentmomentthanourdesiretoloseweight.
Whenthisisthecase, ourawarenesstellsusthatthebestdecisionistoeat a doughnutbecauseourneedanddesireatthetimetellsusthatitisso.
Andthen, askyourselfthisquestion: "If I wastogobacktothattimenotknowingwhat I knownow, butinsteadknowingonlywhat I knewthenwiththesameneeds, desires, perspectives, andlackofawarenessoftheconsequences, would I havedonesomethingdifferentorwould I havedonetheexactsamething?"
Whenyoucanletyourselfoffthehookforthemistakesyouhavemade, itbecomestentimeseasiertomoveforward, makepreparations, makedifferentchoices, andmake a betterlifeforyourselfbasedonwhatyouhavelearnedfromthemistake.
Thereisnorightorwrongwaystorefrain a mistake. Justrememberthatwhenyouarerefraining a mistake, youarelookingtogivethemistakepositivemeaninginsteadofnegativemeaning.
Tounderstandwhat I mean, thinkbackto a timewhenyouwerelearninghowtowalk. Theseimperfectstepswhichyoumade, whichyoucouldcall a fall, iswhattaughtyoutokeepyourbalancetowalkinthe firstplace.
So, theseimperfectsteps, whichwecouldcall a mistake, areeverybitasresponsibleforyoubeingabletowalktodayastheperfectstepswhichyoutook.
So, it's easytoseehowthereisperfectioneveninthesemistakesthatyouarecallingimperfect. Thereisnosuchthingassuccesswithoutknowingfailure.