it in theaters, but even though this movie’s for adults, it does have kiddy humor parts

like the tighty whitey jokes in case you want to watch it with little kids. At the beginning,

the hero’s doing a freelance mission and you realize he’s not such a superhero after

all. Far from a hero, he’s actually quite the mercenary and one of the highest scoring

killers of all time (audio). A bad guy who knows about his reputation tries to recruit him. The bad

guy works with this one tomboy lady who’s super sexy on the outside. She’s rough and

stuff and even though she knows how to do a superhero landing, make no mistake, she’s

definitely a bad guy. (audio) So one of the bad guys tricks the main character into visiting

this plant that’s producing weapons of mass destruction.

but it gets super weird after the bad guys give the hero a Freddy Krueger makeover. The

place gets set on fire and explodes and the main guy's life is never the same pretty much.

His face looks like a testicle with teeth. His words not mine. But the good news is he

has the same super powers as Wolverine so he could heal really really fast and he doesn’t

need gloves to take stuff out the oven. His new powers come in handy when his rival jesuses

him on this metal rod, but the metal comes out and he heals afterwards. If it were me,

and I had to choose between keeping my regular face or having super powers and getting a

new face like his, I’d choose my face to stay the same because I treasure my face way too

much, but one man’s trash is literally another man’s treasure in this movie. Even though

he has new powers and is virtually indestructible, he has too major weaknesses. 1, his nuts,

and 2, his heart because he’s still in love with the lady he’s in love with. So much

so, he spends a majority of the movie day dreaming about her. Which is another similarity

because both movies have exactly 3 flashback sequences in them. 1, 2 and 3 over here. Back in present

day he wants to go back to visit his ex, but he’s far too embarrassed. He’s walking

in the street on a rainy day or night and everybody keeps staring and it gets really rude.

When he finally gets to the girl’s house, he never tells her he’s still alive because

it doesn’t further the plot good enough. Don’t feel too bad about him cutting her

off because if Hydra taught us anything, it’s that if you cut off one head, two more shall

take it’s place. So he makes two new friends. An older guy with an accent and the little

kid. They tell him to use his powers for good and he doesn’t listen to them, but soon

as the comic relief guy tells him to do the opposite with his powers, he listens to him

and then the comic relief guy helps him come up with a new superhero name (audio). The hero gets

a suit that’s black and red. Why do you ask? (Well that's so bad guys don’t see me bleed)

With a new suit, and a new nickname, he goes after the guy who’s allegedly the only man

with a cure (audio). When the hero gets his hands on the guy who set him up, the guy doesn’t

recognize him at first, but then he starts dropping subtle hints and what knot and then

the bad guys like, ohhhh! Everything is going fine until the bad guy

pisses the good guy off and kidnaps the woman he loves When it’s time for the final battle,

he loads up on a lot of guns only to discover he doesn’t even need them (audio . A final

battle ensues, and the guy with the accent joins him but doesn’t make a difference

at all! Which is one of the reasons the hero gets stabbed in the neck up area. At the end,

when he finally gets his hands on the guy he’s hellbent on getting revenge on. He

starts to second guess himself and his conscious takes over. (audio). Oh, I totally forgot,

that is one reason, Deadpool and Spawn are completely different, but since I need one

more reason they’re the same, both movies have a Star Wars Yoda reference (audio)

Just ride a bitch's back like Yoda on Luke. Ah Yoda, just wait a second.

Those are 24 Reasons these movies are the same, you agree?

Yes? No? Maybe so? If not, politely share your thoughts in the comment section below

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