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  • - lf we were making whoopie-- - What's whoopie?

  • Um--

  • Oh, well, uh, if we were-- if we were being intimate--

  • - What, like fucking? - [ Audience Gasps ]

  • [ Laughs ] Yeah.

  • Yeah. lf we were, uh-- What kind of noises would you make?

  • [ Grunting, Barking ]

  • l think that's personal. l don't think l should answer that.

  • - [ Audience Laughs ] - Okay.

  • Uh, suitor number three. What would our first date be like?

  • Well, uh, first l'd take you shopping to stores you'd wanna shop in...

  • and then we'd do lunch, probably at the Cheese Haus, followed by some golfing.

  • And then at night, we'd take in an opera, probably Die Fleidermaus.

  • And then l'd follow it all up with a drive to a secluded beach...

  • where l'd pop on the radio...

  • and then we could slow dance 'til the sun came up.

  • That was the biggest load of crap l've ever heard!

  • Look at you. You're the kind of guy that would beg for sex.

  • l should know. We can smell our own.

  • [ Audience Laughing ]

  • Suitor number one.

  • lf we fell in love, how would you propose to me?

  • - When Jaws popped out of the water. - Excuse me?

  • l'd propose to you right now. l propose that you stop letting your father run your life...

  • be true to yourself and not give up on somebody you know has value.

  • And take off your socks when you make whoopie.

  • He hates it when you leave 'em on.

  • - What? - Hypothetically speaking.

  • Suitor number one, you-- you sound familiar.

  • - Like your conscience, maybe. - Look, lady, you don't know him, all right?

  • Now make with the questions.

  • [ Brandi ] Suitor number three.

  • ls your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake, or a jackhammer?

  • - What's the funny guy doing with his hands? - l don't wanna know.

  • What the fuck is goin' on up there?

  • Definitely a jackhammer.

  • l'm in there with some pressure, and when l'm done, you're not the same as before.

  • - You're changed. - Where do you come up with this shit?

  • That is the cheesiest response to an honest question l've ever heard.

  • l saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that.

  • [ Chuckles ] Suitor number two, you have to wait until you're addressed before you respond.

  • Richard Dawson, just go back to your podium until it's time to play the Feud.

  • [ Audience Laughing ]

  • - Who'd you see me kiss? - Some dude backstage. He seemed unimpressed.

  • l didn't kiss any guy backstage. l swear. l'm not gay.

  • Hey, suitor-ette, this guy's a homophobe; you heard how repulsed he sounded.

  • ls this the kind of guy you wanna spend a vacation with, this hate monger?

  • - l don't hate gay people. - So you love them?

  • - Yes. l mean, no. - Textbook closet case. Self loather.

- lf we were making whoopie-- - What's whoopie?

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Mallrats (8/9) Movie CLIP - Truth or Date Game Show (1995) HD (Mallrats (8/9) Movie CLIP - Truth or Date Game Show (1995) HD)

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    fisher に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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