until I start spitting wildly!

(upbeat music)

Halloween is a time for ladies to dress sexy,

and dudes to dress stupid.

- Straight dudes are obsessed with dicks.

- They're just funny!

- Naturally, every Halloween, you see

a bunch of dudes wearing gross dick costumes.

(Keith makes a barfing noise)

- Why the fuck is everyone talking about penises so much?

- They're floppy, they get hard,

they have little funny hats.

- Guys should try to look sexy on Halloween too,

and the least sexy thing you can do

is to look like a pervert.

- We're gonna join in on the fun.

- I'm fully naked and ready

to try on some Halloween costumes!

- [Voiceover] Modern Halloween fashion

inspired by the Middle East.

- I'm like a droopy hot dog.

(Keith makes a flute noise)

- It's a snake charmer!

- I was promised penis.

(Eugene laughs)

- Oh, the inference is that my dick is gonna bite you.

- This is a little racist.

- Do I just put it between my butt cheeks? Oh!

- The snake's got no eyes, this is a shitty snake.

- If I'm gonna have a fake dick,

at least I want a cool fake dick.

- The best use of this is just to scare people.

(yells)

- Who would think this is a good idea?

- Ow! Ow! Something bit me, or something in the suit.

There'd better not be a spider in here.

- ♫ The hills are alive, with the sound of

culturally insensitive dick comedy.

- [Voiceover] Free breathalyzer tests.

- First of all the guy in the costume looks like Pewdie Pie.

- You're supposed to blow on the dick.

- Has this ever worked?

- People would have to be pretty wasted

to find you attractive in this.

Also, if you want someone to suck your dick

wear something cute.

(Keith laughs)

- Does it make my butt look good?

Worthless.

(Keith laughs)

- I'd rather go as a hot vacuum cleaner,

'cause at least the function is cool.

- [Keith] Why is there a pie chart?

- Maths, graphs!

- It makes sense to me that the math

on here doesn't make sense,

because I assume anyone who wears this costume

did flunk out of school.

- But if I saw somebody wearing this,

I'd probably suck their dick.

(blowing noises)

- [Voiceover] There's nothing less sexy than a sex offender.

- This next one's special!

- This is the sexy Bernie Sanders costume.

- Ahh, there's a dick in my face!

- Weiner alert!

- Ohh, I just grabbed it by the dick.

- Now I'm horrifying.

- Hi!

- So this outfit is called the flasher.

I'll show you why.

- Honey, I'm home!

- They only come in white.

Oh I have a big problem with this costume.

- That's not how a nut sack works.

- They don't each get their own bag!

- My wife would divorce me if I wore this.

- It's awful.

However, I'm excited to see a montage

of everybody trying to helicopter with it.

- It's not the true weight of a penis.

- See you later boner body.

Oh hello, boner body.

(Eugene laughs)

- Do we just stick it in?

- It's got a long shaft.

- This is what a sperm must feel like.

- I've always wondered what it would be like

to be a huge embarrassment to my family.

- Wrong hole. I'm a penis!

- Eyes up here.

- Though it'd be funny if it had a hole

for your actual dick to stick out.

Dickception!

- Obviously the life of a party.

- Where do you put your wallet and keys?

- I have a history of not liking giant dicks.

- I feel like this is something some fashion designer

would send down the Paris runway.

Oh this does kind of look like the Yeezy line doesn't it?

- How does my head look?

- Do I look uncircumcised now?

- How cute would it be

if we just had a nice little shoulder shawl?

You put a little hood!

- They're really dicking me over with the padding.

- I think everybody in the world can agree

that this is too funny.

Now let me run around!

(Keith caws like a bird)

(Eugene laughs)

- Penis!

- Let me inside of you!

(Zach spits)

What, what else do you say when you're a big dick?

Look at me, I'm the cock of the walk!

- It's not that you're wearing a dick costume,

it's how you wear it.

- The only way that I would be cool with this

is if I saw a bunch of girls wearing this.

You go girl, you own that dick.

- [Voiceover] Oh god, what is that!

- Did you just throw a vagina at me?

- Well if you thought the penis was bad,

what about a vagina?

- Someone dropped it on the ground,

our vagina's dirty already.

Just gotta get a little spit in there.

- This actually is very similar

to costumes my mom would make for me when I was a kid.

In construction!

- This isn't a great vagina.

- Do I look cute?

- First off, you can't penetrate it.

- Hey!

Look who's ready to party!

- Where's the clitoris? Am I the-?

- Is my face the clitoris?

- Am I the clitoris? Oh my god.

I'm the clitoris!

- So I should rub it?

- ♫ Teachin' kids about sex!

- Who's your audience?

- Keep that closed 'til you're ready to get pregnant!

'Cause that's what'll happen if ya'll kids have sex.

- At the very least, there should be a hole

so I could like throw babies at people

from the inside of my stomach.

- This is fetus-Eugene.

- What a toasty vagina!

- It's hot as fuck in this vagina!

This is the warmest vagina I've ever been in.

- This is like, negative sexy points.

- One giant vagina is gonna keep

all the vagina's away, I promise you that.

- I wanna know, who buys these costumes.

- They're all gross.

- My advice is, don't wear these.

- You know, if wanna dress up as a giant dick,

or a giant vagina, go ahead.

Just know that people probably

are gonna wanna not talk to you again.

- [All] Happy Halloweiner!

- And happy Hallovaginer!

Get in there! Get in there!

Get inside, yes, come one, all the way in!

(blowing sound)

- What's weird is that I feel the vibrations

of you blowing, vibrating my dick,

so it is doing somethin'!

- Heyyy!