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  • Welcome to Taiwan!

  • We're in Taipei, Taiwan

  • And we have to days to eat all of your food

  • When it comes to Taiwan a lot of people think about

  • the night markets or they think about the soup dumplings but

  • you need to start thinking about taiwanese breakfast

  • If you've never had breakfast in Taiwan before

  • you are missing out my friends

  • Okay first up, fried radish cakes.

  • Oh, yes.

  • okay I'm actually a little bit surprised

  • [Simon: radishes?] Yeah, I know right?

  • that's exactly- I was expecting these to look like hashbrowns

  • like you know when you get shredded hashbrowns?

  • like I pictured a giant radish thing being shredded

  • I'm going in

  • alright here we go

  • Oh man, it tastes like... a mashed potato shot

  • oh my god, woah

  • Can we get 3 more of these?

  • This is amazing.

  • Oh my god. And it has like, little bits of meat in there?

  • Holy smokes.

  • So this is a really thinly fried omlette

  • it looks like it has green onions in it

  • and it's wrapped around radish cake again

  • But the radish cake doesn't look the same

  • That is perfectly small.

  • I didn't know any of this food existed.

  • May we just say, I prefer this over hash brown any day.

  • Me, too.

  • If I had a choice between radishes for breakfast and hashbrowns for breakfast, I'll pick this

  • Oh my god.

  • I didn't realize how big soy culture was in Taiwan.

  • Yeah!

  • You have a fresh, cold soy milk and mine is a hot soy milk.

  • This is so weird because I'm only used to having soy milk in boxes.

  • Yeah, exactly.

  • Oh my god.

  • Mine's like a latte. Can I have a shot of espresso in here?

  • That's so sweet but fresh.

  • Alright. Let's get this day in Taipei started.

  • Let's do it.

  • It rhymed!

  • We are here at Chung Shui Tang, which I'm sure I mispronounced

  • But I've honestly been practicing for like [Martina: You've practiced so hard Ducky] 5 minutes

  • Listen guys, you think you know boba?

  • You think you know bubble tea?

  • It came from Taiwan, did you know that?

  • It came from here

  • It came from here.

  • This is the originator.

  • Here is the biggest boba tea I've seen in my entire life.

  • This...

  • Oh my god.

  • ...is nuts.

  • Holy smokes.

  • Do you see...

  • Okay

  • How big this is?

  • They're not messing around here.

  • No.

  • My wrists are sore.

  • Okay we gotta one shot it.

  • That is a delicious bubble tea.

  • I got a mouthful of boba.

  • Woah

  • Oh my god. That is perfectly sweet.

  • Oh my god.

  • I love this.

  • Do think this kind of tea counts as caffeine, Simon?

  • Of course.

  • What? What do you mean?

  • Now what I think its amazing about going for bubble tea in Taiwan is

  • is that it's not just about the bubble tea

  • it's also about the side dishes

  • This is crazy.

  • Radish cakes.

  • Oh, your dream has come true again.

  • Yup

  • Yup.

  • Yup

  • Yup.

  • I wanna go for this.

  • DUCKY

  • Oh my god.

  • Really?

  • That's like, mashed potato perfection.

  • Okay this look amazing because it has barley and shrimp

  • and a whole bunch of other stuff that I don't know.

  • Okay, I gotta try one too.

  • I'm going in for it.

  • Oh my god!

  • That is...

  • ...a pork shumai

  • covered in rice.

  • I didn't know this exists.

  • I didn't know this exists.

  • OH MY GOD.

  • Oh my god.

  • Oh my god.

  • The real question is...

  • rice covered pork shumai or radish cake

  • We are about to do something I cannot wait to do.

  • We are going to get our hair washed.

  • They're gonna massage my head and massage our neck..

  • It's like an hour of hair pampering right? That's amazing!

  • Um... yeah.

  • Who doesn't like having their hair touched?

  • Right!

  • Right?

  • Okay... okay you ready?

  • Yup!

  • Okay, let's go! Let's go!

  • Simon, where are you going?

  • Ain't no damn way I'm getting my hair washed for an hour.

  • This is where it's at.

  • Oh my god!

  • This is totally awesome.

  • I'm in heaven.

  • I'm in heaven.

  • I love having my head touched.

  • I love having my head touched.

  • OH MY GOD I had the most wonderful experience!

  • You too? Me too!

  • You go first! Okay so...

  • Taiwan night markets!

  • If you don't go to one of these when you're in Taiwan, you haven't experienced Taiwan!

  • What's the point, even?

  • This is what it's all about, this is what we've been waiting for

  • This is where we are going to spend the rest of our lives

  • Good night and God speed.

  • Look for the tent that says Simon and Martina will be here.

  • I'm going to eat everything you have to offer.

  • Yup.

  • Oh wow.

  • Sweet and savoury but not like Sweet and Sour sauce.

  • Oh yes.

  • Oh there's meat in here!

  • Wow.

  • I want...

  • all the food.

  • Stinky tofu.

  • Alright this is the deep fried version.

  • We like waited forever for this super-

  • You can smell this from a mile away.

  • Alright you think we're gonna burn our mouths off?

  • Yup!

  • Oh my god it's so... pungent!

  • Alright. Now try everything at once.

  • Wow. That is delicious!

  • OH. I can taste the smell now. There you go.

  • That socks.

  • Tastes good!

  • Tastes like socks.

  • It tastes a little like vinegar to me.

  • Vinegar socks.

  • Listen. This was supposed to be a lot stinkier than I expected.

  • WOAH.

  • This is not that stinky.

  • I am disappointed in your lack of stinkiness, stinky tofu.

  • I'm not disappointed... nope.

  • Anymore stinkiness would be too much.

  • Disappointed.

  • I would like to try something else please.

  • Woah you're really diggin' in there.

  • Hu jiao bing!

  • Oh my god. That meat is so sweet!

  • Is it garlic-y?

  • It's like they have cloves in there as well.

  • It's like a hamburger bun inside this like beautiful sesame bun.

  • The crispiness... oh yeah.

  • Look how dense that is.

  • Fried chicken steak.

  • Oh yes!

  • Yes. Yeah!

  • Oh my god.

  • Oh my god.

  • Go away. Go away.

  • You don't even like chicken that much.

  • Oh my god Ducky. Are you ready?

  • Oh my god.

  • Oh my god is right.

  • Sheng Jian Bao!

  • Oh my god. Oh my god.

  • Wow.

  • The bottom, is like beautifully crispy.

  • The top is spongy and then the pork on the inside is so soft.

  • Oh my god.

  • Can I see the other one here?

  • This one.

  • Ducky wait!

  • Hua Sheng Juan Bing Ji Ling!

  • (Perfect!)

  • Is that right?

  • Never again!

  • So this is a spring roll, shaved coffee

  • with cilantro

  • and ice cream. Can you believe it?

  • I am so pumped for this.

  • Oh my god.

  • Oh my god.

  • That coffee!

  • With the spring roll and ice cream

  • Cilantro and ice cream...

  • I can't believe this exists!

  • I'm so happy with my life

  • Taiwan, why haven't I visited you sooner?

  • You are... a wonderland of mysterious, delicious food

  • and I love you.

  • I love you. I love you Taiwan.

  • I love you so- you have your own!

  • ate so much

  • must exercise

  • to make room for more food.

  • More food.

  • Ah...

  • Oh yeah.

  • We are in the Grand View Resort Beitou.

  • And we are enjoying some amazing, natural hot spas.

  • Ah, my ankles are so sore from all the walking I did last

  • night in the night market.

  • Ugh, my shoulders were so painful from lifting up all that food to my mouth.

  • My fingers ache from gripping chopsticks for hours upon hours.

  • My jaw was so painful after chewing and chewing all

  • that delicious food all day.

  • Ah, yeah I needed this.

  • I needed this.

  • *inaudible* fingers!

  • Wrinkled fingers!

  • Wow, fantastic baby, dance!

  • Hurry, I'm dyin-

  • What are you doing?

  • Why are you saying the *inaudible* we've got more stuff to do

  • Are you just looking for excuses to stay in the tub forever?

  • K, I'm going without you.

  • Where are you going?

  • Din Tai ***ing Fung

  • Now Xiao Long Bao deserves more than just a few

  • snippets of some sexy food videos.

  • So we're going to dedicate an entire fa-fap to this

  • For you guys of course- just for you. But for now, enjoy

  • some sexy food porn shots.

  • Lick the screens like you love it.

  • Drool, drool with us.

  • Lick it. Lick it. Lick it good!

  • Onboard X adventure. YouBikes, let's go!

  • I'm actually happy that we got a little bit of exercise in.

  • Pretty much we've been eating non-stop, right Simon?

  • Ducky! Where did you even get that from?!

  • I don't know.

  • But I don't care!

  • Ugh. Okay one of us is exercising.

  • One of us.

  • I got hungry.

  • Aw, Ducky we just ate.

  • Ten minutes ago!

  • Oh. My. God.

  • So we've been told by everybody here that we can't

  • leave Taiwan until we try some mango shaved ice.

  • they've confiscated our passports and they threatened to

  • keep us here forever so

  • I guess we're gonna have to try this out.

  • We're just gonna have to suffer and eat something super delicious.

  • We're gonna do this for you guys.

  • We'll do this for you