Mike Trap?

Yes...yes that's correct my great grandfather was Korean.

(Murmur)

Okay! Yeah! I see it.

You are accused of claiming to know the best Korean BBQ joints

without explanation and insisting your authority on North Korean politics and how do you plea?

Ah...ah...guilty I guess? Might not Asian enough to do those things?

You're only an eighth.

Yeah! What is that even?

Certainly your father would be an Asian but your children? 116? That's nothing.That's like half a slice of pizza.

That's not even a snack.

As one eighth the love Asian heritage clearly states what you can and can't do

in casual conversation you may claim to be Asian around those less Asian than you,

but around those more Asian than you you must wait for them to ask you about it.

Okay! Thank you!

On formal documents, if there is the option to choose more than one ethnicity you must check Asian

If you can only select one you may check Asian but we will silently judge you.

However, if this document requesting diversity related scholarships you should not check Asian, but we know that you will.

I'm sorry. This is very confusing.

It's perfectly simple.

Can I check the "I do not wish to say" box?

Yes, but you imagine your grandmother looking very disappointed.

Okay! That's fair.

.Where's the panel stand on accents?, Am I Asian enough to do a broken English accent as a joke or for comedy sketch or something?

No. / How good is it?

Ah....No! no! You're not an Asian enough to do the accent.

but you are Asian enough to be offended by it just don't like make a big deal out of it or anything.You will embarrass yourself.

You're Asian enough to enjoy Korean restaurants?

Oh! Anyone can do that, that's not fair!

Don't interrupt me.

Sorry!

But you may act superior to others in a Korean restaurant, because your grandmother made better food.

Okay! Thank you!

You are expected to get really excited when you see Randall Park and stuff?

Oh! I would have anyway, I think he's great.

You are Asian enough to really enjoy anime, although, be honest, with your beard that make you look more White.

Yes, that make sense. I kind of agree with you on that.

You are Asian enough to make your own kimchee without seeming like a tweet douchebag.

But beware you're also Asian enough to reinforce stereotypes if you're really good at Starcraft.

Oh! I'm not.

Any questions?

Can I use the three Korean phrases I know, with Korean waitstaff?

No, that's rude / Sure, I guess so.

Guys, to be honest I don't even think I should be up here? No, you're fine.

Okay! Totally different to you guys though.

Now we must adjourn, so the black council can make their decisions.

I'm an eighth black? You are black!