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  • I cannot forget them.

    翻訳: Mari Arimitsu 校正: Ami Okuno

  • Their names were Aslan, Alik, Andrei,


  • Fernanda, Fred, Galina, Gunnhild,

    彼らの名前は アスラン、アリク、アンドレイ

  • Hans, Ingeborg, Matti, Natalya,

    フェルナンダ、フレッド ガリーナ、ガンヒルド

  • Nancy, Sheryl, Usman, Zarema,

    ハンス、インゲボルグ マッティ、ナタリヤ

  • and the list is longer.

    ナンシー、シェリル ウスマン、ザレマ

  • For many, their existence, their humanity,


  • has been reduced to statistics,

    あまりに多くの人たちの存在と 彼らの人間性が

  • coldly recorded as "security incidents."


  • For me, they were colleagues

    冷酷にも「安全保障上の事件」として 片付けられました

  • belonging to that community of humanitarian aid workers

    私にとって 彼らは

  • that tried to bring a bit of comfort


  • to the victims of the wars in Chechnya in the '90s.

    彼らが ちょっとした安らぎを もたらそうと尽力したのは

  • They were nurses, logisticians, shelter experts,

    90年代のチェチェン紛争における 被害者たちでした

  • paralegals, interpreters.

    彼らは看護師、事務方 避難所の専門家で

  • And for this service, they were murdered,


  • their families torn apart,


  • and their story largely forgotten.


  • No one was ever sentenced for these crimes.

    そうして彼らの物語は ほぼ忘れ去られたのです

  • I cannot forget them.

    これらの犯罪で罰を受けた者は 誰一人としていません

  • They live in me somehow,


  • their memories giving me meaning every day.


  • But they are also haunting the dark street of my mind.

    その記憶こそが 私の日常に 意義をもたらしてくれます

  • As humanitarian aid workers,

    しかし同時に その記憶が 私の頭に暗い影を落とします

  • they made the choice to be at the side of the victim,


  • to provide some assistance, some comfort, some protection,

    彼らは被害者の側に 寄り添う道を選び

  • but when they needed protection themselves,

    支援の手を差し伸べ 安らぎと保護を与えたのです

  • it wasn't there.

    ところが自分たちの保護が 必要になったとき

  • When you see the headlines of your newspaper these days


  • with the war in Iraq or in Syria --


  • aid worker abducted, hostage executed --


  • but who were they?

    支援活動家が捕らえられ 人質として処刑されます

  • Why were they there?


  • What motivated them?


  • How did we become so indifferent to these crimes?


  • This is why I am here today with you.

    なぜ私たちは このような犯罪に 無関心になってしまったのでしょうか?

  • We need to find better ways to remember them.

    これが皆さんと考えたい 今日のテーマです

  • We also need to explain the key values to which they dedicated their lives.

    彼らを覚えておく 良い方法を見つけるべきです

  • We also need to demand justice.

    そして彼らが命を犠牲にした 重要な価値を知っておく必要もあります

  • When in '96 I was sent


  • by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees to the North Caucasus,


  • I knew some of the risks.

    私は国連難民高等弁務官事務所から 北コーサカスに赴任しました

  • Five colleagues had been killed,


  • three had been seriously injured,


  • seven had already been taken hostage.


  • So we were careful.


  • We were using armored vehicles, decoy cars,


  • changing patterns of travel, changing homes,

    装甲車両を利用し おとりの車を使い

  • all sorts of security measures.

    移動手段を頻繁に変え 住居も変えました

  • Yet on a cold winter night of January '98, it was my turn.


  • When I entered my flat in Vladikavkaz with a guard,

    しかし1998年1月の寒い冬の日に 私の番がやってきました

  • we were surrounded by armed men.

    ウラジカフカスの自分のアパートに 護衛とともに戻ると

  • They took the guard, they put him on the floor,


  • they beat him up in front of me,


  • tied him, dragged him away.


  • I was handcuffed, blindfolded, and forced to kneel,

    縄でしばり どこかに連れて行きました

  • as the silencer of a gun pressed against my neck.

    私は手錠と目隠しをされ 膝をつくよう強要されると

  • When it happens to you,

    銃に付けられたサプレッサーが 私の首に押し当てられました

  • there is no time for thinking, no time for praying.


  • My brain went on automatic,

    思考は停止し 祈っている暇もありません

  • rewinding quickly the life I'd just left behind.

    脳裏では 自動的に

  • It took me long minutes to figure out

    それまで歩んできた人生が 走馬灯のように駆け巡りました

  • that those masked men there were not there to kill me,


  • but that someone, somewhere, had ordered my kidnapping.

    私の殺害ではないということを 理解するのに 時間を要しましたが

  • Then a process of dehumanization started that day.

    誰かがどこかで 私の誘拐を指示したわけです

  • I was no more than just a commodity.

    その日から人間性を喪失する プロセスが始まりました

  • I normally don't talk about this,


  • but I'd like to share a bit with you some of those 317 days of captivity.

    普段は この話をしませんが

  • I was kept in an underground cellar,

    317日に渡る人質生活について 共有したいと思います

  • total darkness,


  • for 23 hours and 45 minutes every day,


  • and then the guards would come, normally two.

    23時間45分 毎日続きます

  • They would bring a big piece of bread,

    そして護衛が 通常2人やって来るのです

  • a bowl of soup, and a candle.

    彼らが手にするのは 大きな一切れのパンと

  • That candle would burn for 15 minutes,


  • 15 minutes of precious light,

    このロウソクが15分間 燃えあがります

  • and then they would take it away, and I returned to darkness.


  • I was chained by a metal cable to my bed.

    彼らが取り上げると 辺りは暗闇に包まれます

  • I could do only four small steps.

    私は金属製のケーブルでベッドに つながれた状態でした

  • I always dreamt of the fifth one.


  • And no TV, no radio, no newspaper, no one to talk to.


  • I had no towel, no soap, no toilet paper,

    テレビもラジオもなければ 新聞や話しかける相手もいませんでした

  • just two metal buckets open, one for water, for one waste.

    タオルや石けん トイレットペーパーもありません

  • Can you imagine that mock execution can be a pastime for guards

    蓋のない金属製の2つバケツは 1つは飲み水用で もう1つは排泄用でした

  • when they are sadistic or when they are just bored or drunk?

    信じがたいことに 護衛たちにとって サディスティックな気分になったり

  • We are breaking my nerves very slowly.

    お酒が入ったときに 模擬処刑が気晴らしになるのです

  • Isolation and darkness are particularly difficult to describe.


  • How do you describe nothing?

    中でも孤独感と暗闇が 筆舌に尽くしがたい状況でした

  • There are no words for the depths of loneliness I reached


  • in that very thin border between sanity and madness.


  • In the darkness, sometimes I played imaginary games of checkers.


  • I would start with the black,

    暗闇の中では 空想をめぐらせ チェッカーで遊んだものです

  • play with the white,


  • back to the black trying to trick the other side.


  • I don't play checkers anymore.

    黒のコマに戻って 対戦相手を欺こうとします

  • I was tormented by the thoughts of my family and my colleague, the guard, Edik.


  • I didn't know what had happened to him.

    私の家族や同僚 護衛のエディクを思うと心が痛みました

  • I was trying not to think,

    彼の身に何が起こったのか 知る由もありませんでした

  • I tried to fill up my time


  • by doing all sorts of physical exercise on the spot.


  • I tried to pray, I tried all sorts of memorization games.

    その場でできる ありとあらゆるエクササイズでした

  • But darkness also creates images and thoughts that are not normal.

    祈りもささげましたし 考えられる 記憶力ゲームもやりました

  • One part of your brain wants you to resist, to shout, to cry,

    暗闇が生み出すものには 異様なイメージや考えもあります

  • and the other part of the brain orders you to shut up

    片方では抵抗したり声を荒げたり 泣き出したい自分がいて

  • and just go through it.

    他方では じっと押し黙って やり過ごすよう

  • It's a constant internal debate; there is no one to arbitrate.


  • Once a guard came to me, very aggressively, and he told me,

    絶え間ない内なる葛藤ですから 仲裁してくれる人などいません

  • "Today you're going to kneel and beg for your food."

    あるときは護衛が攻撃的に 近づいて来て

  • I wasn't in a good mood, so I insulted him.

    「今日は膝をついて食べ物を乞うんだ」 と言いました

  • I insulted his mother, I insulted his ancestors.

    私は気分が悪かったので 彼を侮辱しました

  • The consequence was moderate: he threw the food into my waste.

    彼のお母さんや 先祖をも罵りました

  • The day after he came back with the same demand.

    その結果は大したことはありません 排泄用のバケツに食べ物を投げ込まれました

  • He got the same answer,

    翌日 同じ男が現れて 同じ要求をしました

  • which had the same consequence.


  • Four days later, the body was full of pain.


  • I didn't know hunger hurt so much when you have so little.

    4日後のことです 体中に激痛が走りました

  • So when the guards came down,

    空腹によって あれほどの痛みが起きるとは 知りませんでした

  • I knelt.


  • I begged for my food.


  • Submission was the only way for me to make it to another candle.


  • After my kidnapping,

    ロウソクのためには 従うことが唯一の方法だったのです

  • I was transferred from North Ossetia to Chechnya,


  • three days of slow travel in the trunks of different cars,


  • and upon arrival, I was interrogated

    トラックと違う車を乗り継いだ 3日間に渡る長旅の後

  • for 11 days by a guy called Ruslan.


  • The routine was always the same:

    ルスラーンという男に 11日間 尋問されました

  • a bit more light, 45 minutes.


  • He would come down to the cellar,

    少し長めの 45分間の光がありました

  • he would ask the guards to tie me on the chair,


  • and he would turn on the music loud.

    私をイスに縛るよう 護衛に指示します

  • And then he would yell questions.


  • He would scream. He would beat me.


  • I'll spare you the details.

    叫んだり 殴ったりするのです

  • There are many questions I could not understand,


  • and there are some questions I did not want to understand.

    ほとんどの尋問内容が 私には理解できませんでした

  • The length of the interrogation was the duration of the tape:

    いくつかの質問は 理解したくないものもありました

  • 15 songs, 45 minutes.

    尋問時間は部屋に流れている テープと同じ時間でした

  • I would always long for the last song.

    15曲 45分間です

  • On one day, one night in that cellar, I don't know what it was,

    いつも最後の曲を 心待ちにしたものです

  • I heard a child crying above my head,

    ある日の夜 独房にいると よく分からなかったのですが

  • a boy, maybe two or three years old.


  • Footsteps, confusion, people running.

    男の子で 年は2~3才でしょうか

  • So when Ruslan came the day after,

    足音や ざわめき 人の走る音が聞こえます

  • before he put the first question to me,


  • I asked him, "How is your son today? Is he feeling better?"

    彼が尋問を始める前に 私が口を開きました

  • Ruslan was taken by surprise.

    「息子さんの調子はどうだい? 元気になったかい?」

  • He was furious that the guards may have leaked some details


  • about his private life.

    彼は護衛が私生活について 漏らしたに違いないと

  • I kept talking about NGOs supplying medicines to local clinics


  • that may help his son to get better.


  • And we talked about education, we talked about families.

    君の息子に役立つかもしれないよと 話し続けました

  • He talked to me about his children.

    そして私たちは教育や家族について 話し出しました

  • I talked to him about my daughters.


  • And then he'd talk about guns, about cars, about women,


  • and I had to talk about guns, about cars, about women.

    すると彼は銃や車 女性について話すので

  • And we talked until the last song on the tape.

    私も銃や車 女性について話しました

  • Ruslan was the most brutal man I ever met.

    そんな風に最後の曲が終わるまで 話したのです

  • He did not touch me anymore.

    ルスーランは私が知っている中でも 最も残忍な男でしたが

  • He did not ask any other questions.

    それ以来 私に触れもしなければ

  • I was no longer just a commodity.


  • Two days after, I was transferred to another place.


  • There, a guard came to me, very close -- it was quite unusual --

    2日後のことです 私は別の場所に移されました

  • and he said with a very soft voice, he said,

    そこで1人の護衛が近づいてきて ―これは非常に珍しいことです―

  • "I'd like to thank you

    とても優しい声で こう言いました

  • for the assistance your organization provided my family


  • when we were displaced in nearby Dagestan."

    家族とダゲスタン近くに 避難していたときに

  • What could I possibly reply?


  • It was so painful. It was like a blade in the belly.

    一体 何と答えれば良いんでしょう?

  • It took me weeks of internal thinking to try to reconcile

    心が痛みました 刃物で腹を刺されたような気分でした

  • the good reasons we had to assist that family


  • and the soldier of