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  • [theme music]

  • -And that, Vladimir, is the story

  • of the day you were born, 13 years ago to this very day.

  • [laughs] And there's you riding Zoltan.

  • Oh, and look.

  • That's you taking your first bite.

  • Rah!

  • [laughs] Oh.

  • And the rest just Ingrid.

  • -Do we have to do this every year?

  • It's embarrassing.

  • -I know, son.

  • You forget, I was young once.

  • -Yeah, 600 years ago.

  • -So what wild mischief have you got planned for your party

  • tonight, you little delinquent?

  • -Balloons, cake, pass the parcel.

  • -Oh.

  • Well, you're just a late starter.

  • [slaps leg]

  • It'll come with time.

  • -Not that much time, though, Master Vlad.

  • Only three more years till you become a proper vampire.

  • -Yes.

  • Thank you, Zoltan.

  • I hadn't forgotten.

  • -Three short years.

  • And of course, there'll be no normal parties for you then.

  • -I'm trying not to think about it.

  • -No cake, no balloons.

  • -Shut up.

  • --[sigh] Just sucking blood and avoiding steaks.

  • -Put a sock in it.

  • Yes, three years.

  • Three whole years to find a way out

  • of ever becoming a stupid vampire.

  • Starting today.

  • -[muffled sounds]

  • -The sole's worn, the heel's broken,

  • and they're two sizes too small.

  • -And where do you think the money's coming from?

  • These bills don't pay themselves, you know.

  • Eeh.

  • -Ugh.

  • So what?

  • Am I just supposed to walk around barefoot?

  • -That's the spirit.

  • -Dad, I need some cash for party decorations.

  • COUNT DRACULA: How much?

  • -5 pounds?

  • -Take 10

  • -Thanks, Dad.

  • -Uh, you just gave Vlad 10 pounds.

  • -Yes, and when it's your 13th birthday you can have money.

  • INGRID: Hmph.

  • But I'm 15.

  • -Oh.

  • Bad luck.

  • -I hope you fry in the sun.

  • -Glow in the dark plastic fangs and a bottle of fake blood.

  • Thanks, Robin.

  • -It's dead cool.

  • Let me show you.

  • -Open mine.

  • I actually put some thought into it.

  • -You mind reader, I love it.

  • What is it exactly?

  • -It's a lamp.

  • You said you wanted to get rid of that ghostly complexion.

  • -That's not all you'll get rid of if the count gets

  • his hands on it.

  • Oooooaghhh, I'm melting.

  • I'm melting.

  • -Good point.

  • Let's try it out in the crypt.

  • It'll be safer down there.

  • -But will we be?

  • [exaggerated vampire laugh]

  • -Hmph.

  • --[inaudible], where do you gooooo?

  • -Now hold this and point it at anything with fangs.

  • JONATHAN: Right, left a bit.

  • A bit more.

  • Hold it!

  • I can see someone.

  • -A vampire feasting on mortal blood?

  • -Uh, not quite.

  • It's the butler picking his nose.

  • -Oh.

  • Try the next window.

  • See anything?

  • -[scream]

  • -Please keep quiet, Jonathan.

  • Screaming like a girl is not conducive to vampire slaying.

  • -[muffled sounds]

  • -You need to take a leaf out of my book.

  • I never get scared by anything.

  • --[cough] [sigh] Thank goodness for that.

  • [sneeze]

  • -Nerves of steel.

  • [crash]

  • -[growl]

  • -[screams]

  • -[sigh]

  • -You were saying?

  • -I can think of better places to sunbathe.

  • -So do I look any different?

  • -Wow.

  • Who did them up?

  • -That's granny and grandpa, mum's parents.

  • Krone and Atilla Westenra.

  • We don't talk about them much.

  • (WHISPERING) They don't like Dad.

  • -(WHISPERING) Why not?

  • -Robin, that's none of our business.

  • Why not?

  • -Pssh.

  • Well, they weren't exactly thrilled

  • about us leaving Transylvania.

  • -Renfield, pack the hearse.

  • We're leaving.

  • -And where do you think you're going?

  • -Have you seen the angry mob of peasants out there?

  • I don't think they're here to [inaudible].

  • -If you run away, you'll bring shame on this family.

  • COUNT DRACULA: If I stay, my family will be dust.

  • -In 2,000 years, no vampire has ever

  • been chased away by breathers.

  • The Grand High Vampire will be flapping furious!

  • -Why were your grandparents in such a mood?

  • -Well, they're majorly strict about vampire tradition.

  • You've got a wear a cape at all times.

  • You've got to be asleep by daybreak.

  • You can't eat normal food.

  • And you don't mix with breathers.

  • If they knew what my life was like here--

  • -They'd kill you.

  • -Well, no.

  • They'd send me back to Transylvania,

  • to a vampire boarding school.

  • No friends, no family, no daylight ever again.

  • I'd spend the rest of eternity lurking around in the shadows.

  • Can you imagine anything worse?

  • -Wicked.

  • -Wicked, spiteful, and evil.

  • Well, at least they're 3,000 miles away.

  • [doorbell rings]

  • Is that for me?

  • [music cue]

  • Oh no.

  • -Let that be a lesson to you, son.

  • Expect the unexpected.

  • -I was expecting disaster.

  • -Oh, come on, son.

  • Show a bit of enthusiasm.

  • We finally got cast-iron proof.

  • -Yeah, proof that your plans are rubbish.

  • -Look at that face, son.

  • That is the face of evil.

  • -Whatever it is, I think we should give it back.

  • Before we get in any more trouble.

  • -I will, in time.

  • I have a feeling it might come in useful.

  • COUNT DRACULA: Quickly, quickly.

  • Ah, the sun is setting.

  • They'll be out any second.

  • -Some birthday this turned out to be.

  • -Aww, has poor Vlad's party been canceled?

  • -Go sit on a stake.

  • -Make sure you get those cobwebs under the chairs

  • and in all the corners, Renfield.

  • Right.

  • Is there anything else?

  • ROBIN: Nope.

  • Looks good to me.

  • No sign of breather life left anywhere.

  • -Quick!

  • Hide!

  • -[sigh of relief]

  • [music playing]