-And that, Vladimir, is the story

of the day you were born, 13 years ago to this very day.

[laughs] And there's you riding Zoltan.

Oh, and look.

That's you taking your first bite.

Rah!

[laughs] Oh.

And the rest just Ingrid.

-Do we have to do this every year?

It's embarrassing.

-I know, son.

You forget, I was young once.

-Yeah, 600 years ago.

-So what wild mischief have you got planned for your party

tonight, you little delinquent?

-Balloons, cake, pass the parcel.

-Oh.

Well, you're just a late starter.

[slaps leg]

It'll come with time.

-Not that much time, though, Master Vlad.

Only three more years till you become a proper vampire.

-Yes.

Thank you, Zoltan.

I hadn't forgotten.

-Three short years.

And of course, there'll be no normal parties for you then.

-I'm trying not to think about it.

-No cake, no balloons.

-Shut up.

--[sigh] Just sucking blood and avoiding steaks.

-Put a sock in it.

Yes, three years.

Three whole years to find a way out

of ever becoming a stupid vampire.

Starting today.

-[muffled sounds]

-The sole's worn, the heel's broken,

and they're two sizes too small.

-And where do you think the money's coming from?

These bills don't pay themselves, you know.

Eeh.

-Ugh.

So what?

Am I just supposed to walk around barefoot?

-That's the spirit.

-Dad, I need some cash for party decorations.

COUNT DRACULA: How much?

-5 pounds?

-Take 10

-Thanks, Dad.

-Uh, you just gave Vlad 10 pounds.

-Yes, and when it's your 13th birthday you can have money.

INGRID: Hmph.

But I'm 15.

-Oh.

Bad luck.

-I hope you fry in the sun.

-Glow in the dark plastic fangs and a bottle of fake blood.

Thanks, Robin.

-It's dead cool.

Let me show you.

-Open mine.

I actually put some thought into it.

-You mind reader, I love it.

What is it exactly?

-It's a lamp.

You said you wanted to get rid of that ghostly complexion.

-That's not all you'll get rid of if the count gets

his hands on it.

Oooooaghhh, I'm melting.

I'm melting.

-Good point.

Let's try it out in the crypt.

It'll be safer down there.

-But will we be?

[exaggerated vampire laugh]

-Hmph.

--[inaudible], where do you gooooo?

-Now hold this and point it at anything with fangs.

JONATHAN: Right, left a bit.

A bit more.

Hold it!

I can see someone.

-A vampire feasting on mortal blood?

-Uh, not quite.

It's the butler picking his nose.

-Oh.

Try the next window.

See anything?

-[scream]

-Please keep quiet, Jonathan.

Screaming like a girl is not conducive to vampire slaying.

-[muffled sounds]

-You need to take a leaf out of my book.

I never get scared by anything.

--[cough] [sigh] Thank goodness for that.

[sneeze]

-Nerves of steel.

[crash]

-[growl]

-[screams]

-[sigh]

-You were saying?

-I can think of better places to sunbathe.

-So do I look any different?

-Wow.

Who did them up?

-That's granny and grandpa, mum's parents.

Krone and Atilla Westenra.

We don't talk about them much.

(WHISPERING) They don't like Dad.

-(WHISPERING) Why not?

-Robin, that's none of our business.

Why not?

-Pssh.

Well, they weren't exactly thrilled

about us leaving Transylvania.

-Renfield, pack the hearse.

We're leaving.

-And where do you think you're going?

-Have you seen the angry mob of peasants out there?

I don't think they're here to [inaudible].

-If you run away, you'll bring shame on this family.

COUNT DRACULA: If I stay, my family will be dust.

-In 2,000 years, no vampire has ever

been chased away by breathers.

The Grand High Vampire will be flapping furious!

-Why were your grandparents in such a mood?

-Well, they're majorly strict about vampire tradition.

You've got a wear a cape at all times.

You've got to be asleep by daybreak.

You can't eat normal food.

And you don't mix with breathers.

If they knew what my life was like here--

-They'd kill you.

-Well, no.

They'd send me back to Transylvania,

to a vampire boarding school.

No friends, no family, no daylight ever again.

I'd spend the rest of eternity lurking around in the shadows.

Can you imagine anything worse?

-Wicked.

-Wicked, spiteful, and evil.

Well, at least they're 3,000 miles away.

[doorbell rings]

Is that for me?

[music cue]

Oh no.

-Let that be a lesson to you, son.

Expect the unexpected.

-I was expecting disaster.

-Oh, come on, son.

Show a bit of enthusiasm.

We finally got cast-iron proof.

-Yeah, proof that your plans are rubbish.

-Look at that face, son.

That is the face of evil.

-Whatever it is, I think we should give it back.

Before we get in any more trouble.

-I will, in time.

I have a feeling it might come in useful.

COUNT DRACULA: Quickly, quickly.

Ah, the sun is setting.

They'll be out any second.

-Some birthday this turned out to be.

-Aww, has poor Vlad's party been canceled?

-Go sit on a stake.

-Make sure you get those cobwebs under the chairs

and in all the corners, Renfield.

Right.

Is there anything else?

ROBIN: Nope.

Looks good to me.

No sign of breather life left anywhere.

-Quick!

Hide!

-[sigh of relief]

[music playing]

COUNT DRACULA: Atilla, Krone.

What an unpleasant surprise.

KRONE: You.

You traitor.

You've brought shame on this family.

You're a disgrace to the name "Vampire."

-Oh.

Nice to see you, too.

-Ingrid, my favorite grandchild.

-Oh, new shoes.

Thanks, Granny.

KRONE: Pssh, it's only money.

Vladimir, come here, boy.

Into the shadows so I can see you better.

Too much color in your cheeks.

You should stay inside more.

-Leave him alone.

Vlad's becoming a fine young vampire,

a credit to the family name.

-Ha!

Do you know what they call you now in Transylvania?

-The Prince of Darkness.

-The Draculosers.

-The what?

-You ran away from a couple of breathers with garden rakes.

-It was a mob, and they had flaming torches.

-Whatever makes you feel better.

-But I can think of one thing that

would definitely make me feel better.

-Don't threaten me, Count Draculoser.

COUNT DRACULA: Why?

What are you going to do about it?

-Me?

It's the Grand High Vampire that you should be worried about.

-Grand High Vampire?

-He has heard rumors that you may not

be living a true vampiric life.

-He has?

-I hope for your sake that he's wrong.

-Jonathan, turn that off.

If only there was a way to get inside the castle

without actually doing ourselves.

-I like the second bit.

What?

-Jonathan, I have a plan.

-Oh, great.

I'll alert Casualty.

-You feed regularly on the blood of peasants.

-Every night.

It's just blood, blood, blood.

-And you're feared and hated by all who meet you?

INGRID: Everyone.

-Even the bin man.

-Because if I discover anything suspicious, anything at all,

I shall have to inform the council.

You could be stripped of all your privileges.

Or worse.

[crash]

-[sniffs] I smell a breather.

VLADIMIR: [nervous laughter] Probably just Renfield.

-Granny, have you seen what Dad's done with the gargoyles?

[music cue]

-What is the meaning of this?

-I'm Robin, Vlad's friend.

-And who is this mortal?

-My lunch.

Nearly empty.

You're welcome to the dregs.

-Vlad will have no friends unless I

decide they are suitable.

Sit.

-Screwdriver.

Pliers.

-You will be able to put my car back together, won't you?

-Yes, yes.

Always looking at the little picture.

Can't you see what we're creating?

-A mess.

-Who are your parents?

-Count and Countess Spatula.

KRONE: Count Spatula?

I know no Spatulas.

What part of Transylvania are they from?

-The, uh, the eastern part.

KRONE: Pssh.

That explains it.

What would you do if you were attacked with a stake?

-I wouldn't be.

I'm too clever.

-Clever, eh?

And arrogant, too.

Do you prefer French blood or Italian?

-Tick tock.

Tick tock.

-Ooh, I know, I know!

-Let him answer.

-Neither.

They both taste of garlic.

-Hmm.

I approve.

You could learn a thing or two from this boy, Vlad.

-Swat.

COUNT DRACULA: Well done, boy.

-A breather.

CHLOE: Run for it!

-Stop them!

They're getting away.

Mixing with breathers is an unforgivable crime.