Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

審査済み この字幕は審査済みです
  • In this morning's Tune-up Tuesday, we're going to learn about reading people, something our next guest is an expert in.

    今朝の『Tune-up Tuesday』では、次のゲストが得意とする「人の心を読む」ことについて学びましょう。

  • So Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service agent who protected presidents and also worked as an interrogator for the agency's elite polygraph unit.


  • Her book is called "Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly".

    彼女の本のタイトルは『防弾になる」: 自分を守り、人を読み、状況に影響を与え、大胆不敵に生きる』です。

  • Evy, good morning. - Good morning.

    エヴィ、おはようございます。- おはようございます。

  • So you're going to teach us how to read people and you say the most important thing is to stop talking and listen.


  • Well, first we have to get a baseline, right?


  • I need to know who I have in front of me because everybody's different.


  • So when we do less talking and we do more of this, you can actually get a sense of who somebody is.


  • So the other thing you can do if you have somebody, let's say, that doesn't like to talk, TED;

    もし話すのが嫌いな人がいたら、TED を使えばいいです。

  • tell me about that, explain this to me, describe what you're thinking and then you let them go, and they will tell you a story.


  • It's like talking to children. You can't ask them yes or no questions. - Correct.

    子供と話すようなものですね。「はい」か「いいえ」かの質問はできません。- そうです。

  • So when you're trying to read someone is it because you don't believe them or, you know, why would you read someone?


  • It's for everything. One, it's yes, it's detecting deception. Of course, we want to know what people are thinking and especially if they're lying to us.


  • The other thing, it's going to help you have better relationships, build rapport, understand what's going on with the other person because we always want to see things from our lens but when you can connect with people, they reveal themselves to you.


  • You're creating space for people to show you what's going on.


  • So what about body language? How important is body language when you're trying to read somebody?


  • Okay, so body language is key.


  • So if we're looking at somebody, let's say, we're talking to someone and they're fidgeting a lot, you have to ask yourself, "Well, why are they doing that? Are they nervous? Are they uncomfortable?"


  • A grooming. Grooming is I'm playing with my hair; men, I'm playing with my beard or even like ironing out my clothes with my hands.


  • Illustrators, which I love. I'm Greek, I can't help it, I talk like this. - I do too.

    イラストレーター、大好きです。私はギリシャ人なので、仕方ありません、こんなふうに話します。 私もですよ。

  • But if I'm lying, you might see me do this.


  • Because I'm so overwhelmed with trying to lie and talk at the same time, my body kind of shuts down.


  • And then eye movement. So this is tricky.


  • People may break eye contact if they're lying to you. We don't like to look at people and lie.


  • However, some people are very good at it. That's why you learn people's baseline.


  • These are good tips.


  • I love "deer in headlights" What is it?


  • Oh, "deer in headlights." You ask me a question and let's say I'm in shock or not sure, I willthey call it sanpaku, the three whites of the eyes. You'll see the three whites almost like eyes pop out.


  • And so again, when someone does that, why they just do that when I ask them that question?


  • What about the exasperation one?


  • This is the "Oh God".


  • So if you're asking somebody a question, maybe you're doing really good journalism and asking somebody a question they don't want to answer, you may see them do this.


  • The "I need some help. I need divine intervention."


  • And then shock and deer in headlights [are] kind of the same thing.


  • It's just that autonomic nervous system kicking in. We're caught in either a lie or really stressed out and again, you always have to say why did that just happen?


  • You maintain there's no one way to spot a liar but there are some verbal cues that might help you with one of those.


  • Okay, yes, because we're all so different, everybody's going to do different things.


  • But spotting a lie: changing verb tenses.


  • So if I say to you, "What did you do last night?" You would say, "I went to the store." Right?


  • But if you're making the lie up as you're talking, you could switch verb tenses and go into the present and say, " I go to the store."


  • Because you're creating the lie in that moment, so you go from past to present.


  • Insulting your intelligence, my favorite.


  • "That's a stupid question!" "I can't believe you just asked me that!" "Why did you this?"


  • This is somebody trying to shut you down by making you feel stupid, so you have to be aware of that.


  • Answering a question with a question.


  • "Who, me? Where did I go last night?" right? - My kids do that.

    「誰だ?昨夜はどこに行ったっけ?」そうでしょう? ~うちの子もそうするわ。

  • There you go. That's they're stalling tactic as they're trying to figure out what do I say to Dad.


  • And then speaking the third person.


  • "Evy would never do that," "Evy is an honest person," "Evy is this."


  • So I'm putting distance between present Evy and that Evy all the way over there.


  • So if you can spot a lie, can you also spot a truth?


  • Yes, actually it's easier to spot truth and the science actually proves this.


  • So how do know if somebody's telling you the truth?


  • First, spontaneous corrections.


  • If I'm telling you a story and as I'm telling you that story, I correct myself.


  • "You know when I was driving I saw Mom and then I talked to Dad. Oh, no, no, no, wait, I talked to Dad and then Mom."


  • That's a spontaneous correction. That's truthful.


  • Also quotations.


  • "Do you know what he said to me? He said quote, 'I'm going to do this to you.' end quote."

    「彼が僕に何と言ったか知っているかい?彼はこう言ったんだ。お前をこうしてやる 」ってね。

  • That's a truthful indicator when people put things in quotes.


  • And complications. If I'm telling you a story, "You know this morning I got in the Uber, I was coming in, my heel broke as I was going down the stairs."


  • If I'm introducing a complication like that that really kind of doesn't make sense, it's probably truthful because I'm telling you a story.


  • And then feelings, my favorite, especially with kids.


  • We access our feelings usually after we're done telling you a story.


  • I'll walk you through what happened and then afterward, most people will kind of tell you, "You know, I felt really bad about that."


  • I just learned a lot really. There you go.


  • Practice on your family members.- I know. I want to watch that all. I'm going to go home and just judge my family.


  • So Evy, thank you so much.


  • How is that different from usual?


  • "Becoming Bulletproof: Life Lessons From A Secret Service Agent" it is out today.

    『防弾になる」: 自分を守り、人を読み、状況に影響を与え、大胆不敵に生きる』、今日から発売。

In this morning's Tune-up Tuesday, we're going to learn about reading people, something our next guest is an expert in.

今朝の『Tune-up Tuesday』では、次のゲストが得意とする「人の心を読む」ことについて学びましょう。

審査済み この字幕は審査済みです

ワンタップで英和辞典検索 単語をクリックすると、意味が表示されます