Meanwhile, back with the group, Stormfur is thinking about how cute Squirrelpaw is.

Midnight shuffles all the cats into her car and drops them off at Purdy's house. Hurray, Purdy!

Despite earlier crushing on Squirrelpaw, Stormfur gets upset that Crowpaw likes his sister.

Back in Thunderclan, they all have a meeting to decide what to do about the tractors, but all they can come up with is, "Something, I swear."

Midnight saves Brambleclaw's party from some foxes and then tells them that the fastest way home is definitely up some out-of-the-way, steep mountains.

Purdy tries to warn them not to go there.

But Midnight sucker punches him, so all the cats crawl into the mountains, never to be seen again.

Firestar tries to meet with Blackstar to figure out the tractor situation, but Blackstar pretends they're not there until they go away.

Leafpaw decides to visit Windclan on her own and takes Sorreltail as a bodyguard.

As it turns out, Sorreltail can't take eight Windclan cats at once.

Mudclaw and friends chase all the girls all the way back to Riverclan territory where they're saved by huge, powerful, beautiful Mothwing.

Sorreltail gossips about her as soon as she's gone.

Apparently, while the other three clans are fighting tractors and twolegs and starving to death, Riverclan is absolutely fine.

"It would be a shame if a clan went over there and took over Windclan while they're weak," says Mothwing evilly.

"Ha ha, you're so pretty!" responds Leafpaw.

Hawkfrost appears and Leafpaw just can't figure out who this guy looks like. "Who is that guy?" Weird!

Everyone jumps over a gap, except Stormfur who gets attacked by a bird.

Afterwards, he spend several days being both much too interested in Squirrelpaw and being INCREDIBLY MAD that Feathertail hangs out with Crowpaw.

Some really exciting things happen like hunting and sleeping under a rock. And then everyone gets swept away. Bye guys.

Meanwhile in the forest, Mothwing teaches Leafpaw all about the joys of stealing prey from Riverclan.

Then Mothwing drowns her because HawkFrost is back.

"I'm evil," says Hawk Frost. "Just. So evil."

"Don't do that," says Mothwing. He ignores her.

Leafpaw finally realizes that Hawkfrost, who looks identical to Brambleclaw and talks about Tigerstar all the time, is Tigerstar's son.

This fills her heart with her father's ancestral fear of Tigerstar clones.

Firestar uses Leafpaw as a "Squirrelpaw Life Detection System™" casually.

Everyone wakes up freezing to death in a cave, surrounded by cats who look like they were redesigned to be more realistic.

The cats agree to let everyone rest in their cave, as long as they let them have Stormfur.

"He's just.....so handsome."

Brambleclaw wants to keep Stormfur

Nobody else cares much.

The Tribe of Some Rocks and Some Water and Maybe a Hawk Sometimes™ lead them down into a wetter, grosser part of the cave.

"Isn't it just great here?" says Brooklyn Bridge Where Small Cars Speed.

They try to ask the Tribe questions, but they're all too distracted by how pretty Stormfur is.

We learn that half of the cats in the Tribe of Mountains and Being Wet™ only lift, while the other half, everyday is Leg Day.

Stormfur calls the Tribe of Eating Rocks and Stones™ scaredy cats.

They deny being scared and also more specifically denied being cannibalized by a giant cat.

Back in the forest, Firestar accuses Tallstar of sneaking into their house and raiding their fridge.

"How do you know?" says Tallstar, eating another string cheese in front of him. "Could've been anybody..."

Cinderpelt, the Holy Medicine Cat™, is denying that Starclan is looking out for them, as usual, and Leafpaw STILL doesn't tell her what's going on.

While Stormfur is sleeping, Brook appears. "Stoneteller has decided that we will be married, so you can never leave."

"Oh, sure." says Stormfur and they are married immediately.

He doesn't tell anybody else because nobody ever tells anyone anything and it's basically Warrior Cats culture at this point.

They all get worried that they're trapped here forever.

"Haha, it's fine!" reassures Mr. Brooke as the Tribe of Cats Who Live Outside™ lock all the others in a cave prison.

"Why did you do that?" asks Stormfur.

"I-I didn't mean to! I'm sowwy. I wuv you! owo" says Brooke. Okay

"Okay, here's the deal," says Bank Teller. "You kill this giant, bloodthirsty monster for us, and we let your friends go!"

"Uhhhhhhh......" replies Stormfur.

All the other clans have been eating poison and grass now that the Twolegs have moved in.

"My entire clan is dying," says Barkface. "Why don't you just stop dying, then?" responds Leafpaw.

Then Spottedleaf comes to Leafpaw in a dream.

She immediately tells her how hot her father is, and that she wished she was never born.

Then Leafpaw thinks about how good Spottedleaf smells.

The Not-Stormfur Cats™ are forced to hang out with a guy called Scree.

They try to escape, but 40 generations of selective breeding and a gym membership have made the Tribe Cats incredibly powerful.

They ask Stormfur to leave, but if he left, he wouldn't have a girlfriend anymore, so he ignores them.

They let them leave, but without Stormfur, so Squirrelpaw has everyone put on funny masks and they sneak back in.

They're about to break in when they see Sharptooth.

"Oh good, she can eat all the tribe cats and we can save Stormfur!" says Brambleclaw.

They rush in, trying not to step on any wounded cats, wound MORE cats breaking into Stormfur's chambers, and then leave the Tribe Cats to die.

Back in ThunderClan, they've decided that they shouldn't eat any poison, but grass is still on the table.

They try to remove the poison from the fresh kill pile, but Dappletail rushes in and starts gobbling up all of it,

screaming something about 'cowardly millenials.' Then she dies!

Now that he's away from his wife, Stormfur goes back to thinking about Squirrelpaw constantly.

They all take refuge in a cave, but there's members of the Tribe of Borring Cats™ there waiting for them. And the new Tribe Cats take them hostage as well.

They tell them that they're the last cats that a strange prophecy sent to kill Sharptooth.

Silverstream appears as a ghost and scolds Stormfur for not fighting an entire mountain lion.

"I'm going back," says Stormfur. "But why?" asks everyone else. "Because Mommy told me to be nice! : ("

Back in ThunderClan, Leafpaw continues to keep Starclan's prophecy to herself while the forest is being literally destroyed around them.

Squirrelpaw comes up with a plan to kill Sharptooth with death berries at a party.

They bring back the second tribe and everyone gets mad at them for not murdering the mountain lion 10x their size,

even though half of them are dead, and they've replaced them with Stormfur now.

They've just finished poisoning the cake when Sharptooth breaks in, ready to party.

"How did you know it was my birthday?" asks Sharptooth, popping a few Tribe Cats in his mouth.

"H-How about you eat the cake instead?" says Stormfur. The cats apparently didn't know that Sharptooth doesn't like cake.

Then Feathertail suggests they play a party game, like 'Pin the Cat On the Mountain Lion.'

"That sounds fun!" says Sharptooth and Feathertail and impales them both.

"Sorry Stormfur, I didn't really think this one through." Silverstream floats down.

"I'm sure glad my daughter died before having half clan kits like I did!"

Back in ThunderClan, Leafpaw and Sorreltail sneak into a shed to look for their friends.

Leafpaw immediately wanders into a Havaheart™ and gets caught.

Squirrelpaw can tell this happens telepathically, but she doesn't care too much.

Then we get the sorry excuse that the Tribe Cats didn't notice the clearly more silver Feathertail because she was wet,

and all the living cats go home to Tractorville, New York.