So this one has been a long time in the making as many of you know, I've been married to my japanese wife, Michael for over 3.5 years now in Japan during this time.

今回のはずっと前から撮りてーなって思ってたんだ

I've learned first hand quite a bit about what Japanese women culturally expect when living with a foreign husband like me from the U.

もう知ってるかもしんねーけど、 マイコとオラは結婚して約3年半くらい経つんだ

S.

結婚生活を通して、日本人妻がオラみたいな外国人夫に対して して当たり前って思うことを実体験で学んだんだ

So I wanted to share with you some hopefully useful points.

オラの経験が誰かの役に立てばいいと思ってるおぞ

And to be fair today's examples of cultural relationship issues are not just from Michael and I some points I learned from my married foreign male friends with Japanese wives or my Japanese wife friends with their foreign husbands over many years living in Japan.

因みに、今回紹介する文化的なすれ違いはオラ達夫婦に 限ったことじゃないってことを言っとくな

This is a list of cultural relationship issues that without compromise have created many fights, ongoing arguments, resentment and even hate leading some married couples into divorce.

日本人と結婚した外国人の友人から学んだり 外国人夫を持つ日本人の女友達から情報を集めたぞ

Like many lists though, these are generalizations and not every Japanese woman or foreign man is like this.

今回は文化的違いからよく喧嘩になる内容について話すぞ

But if you're planning to get married in Japan, these are some things you might want to be aware of.

文化の違いって理解と妥協点を見つけないと 喧嘩を通り越して、最悪なケースだと離婚すらありえっからな

So you don't end up hating your partner.

ここで話す内容はあくまで一般論であって 日本人妻・外国人夫が全員そうって訳じゃねーかんな

Also, I should say that this list can be applied if you're a foreign female with a Japanese husband.

でも日本人との結婚が可能性としてあるなら 知っといて損はねーと思うぞ

Finally, if you're already married in Japan, let me know how these points sit with you and if I missed any, oh and before I start, if you want help with the channel, then definitely check out the merch store Tokyo zebra dot com for its last merch.

お互い嫌い合うことは避けてぇもんな

We have new designs in the shop.

ちなみに日本人夫と外国人妻ってカップルにも 当てはまるから参考にしてくれよな

All right, let's get started with a list number one forced to sit down while you pee.

似たような体験したとか、他にこんなのもあるってのがあったら コメント欄で教えてくれよな

Yeah, we're getting into the stream of things with this one.

チャンネルをサポートしたかったらグッズ購入よろしくな！ 新しいデザインも仲間入りしてっぞ

But let me be absolutely clear, Michael doesn't force me to sit down while I pee at home.

よっしゃ！じゃ始ようぜ

This one is actually from one of my friends.

１. 用を足す時は座る

So here's the scenario.

まず初めに言っとくけど、 マイコは男の立ちションOK派だ

Initially, my friend was asked to sit down while he peed by his japanese wife.

これについては外国人の友達から聞いた話がある

But after some negotiating, he was eventually able to, you know, stand up for himself at home.

シナリオはこうだ

But when he visits his wife's fam place, he definitely needs to pee sitting down as a sign of respect.

そいつは日本人妻からトイレは座ってするように言われてた

He may have been a lucky one though because in fact about 50% of japanese males today reported the pee sitting down at home to japanese, It's mainly a cleanliness issue.

でも交渉の結果、家では立ちションOKになった

Less flash means you know less cleaning.

でも嫁さんの親んちに遊びに行く時は 敬意を示すって意味でも座るのが鉄則

So there you go.

でもある意味その友達はラッキーかも

If you're ever with a japanese partner, you may come across this one.

統計によると、日本人男性の約５０％が 家で用を足す時に座ってしてるからな

I don't know what do you guys think when you stand up for yourself on this one, Number two can't use A C while sleeping despite Japan's hot and humid summers and freezing winters.

日本人にとって、これは衛生的理由から

Turn on the A.

便器の汚れが少なければ掃除も楽チンだしな

C.

日本人のパートナーがいると指摘される可能性大アリだぞ

May be considered fighting words in some foreign japanese households as it inevitably leaves one party uncomfortable all throughout the night.

皆んなはどう思う？

See many Japanese have grown up used to Japan's extreme seasonal climate preferring to sleep in the natural air environment without ever using air conditioning in the summer.

２. 就寝時はエアコン使用禁止

Since many traditional japanese homes were designed with natural open air circulation in mind and in the winter, Japanese developed extremely warm tones and blankets so they could keep their body warm even in nearly freezing room temperatures.

日本の夏は一般的にすっげぇ暑いし、冬はめちゃんこ寒いけど 寝る時のエアコン問題で喧嘩勃発ってこともあるぞ

Without the need for a See the problem with many foreigners though is that they're not used to this environment and can simply argue that they can't be more tired than not sleeping at all because their entire body is dripping from sweat from the humidity or freezing from the cold air.

どっちか片方が夜通し不快に過ごすハメになる

So yeah, along with many international couples, this is something that Michael and I can relate to because we go back and forth on it as well.

四季の激しい寒暖差がある環境で育ってるから

But these days in our current apartment we reach more or less a compromise on in the summer and off in the winter, fortunately due to our newer style concrete apartment building in Tokyo A.

エアコンを使わずに自然に近い環境で寝るのを好む人が多いんだ

C.

でも日本の昔ながらの家屋ってのは 夏でも風通しが良いように設計されてるし

Is turned on in the summer because it's also too hot for me go to sleep without the A.

冬になったら冬用のごっつい布団と毛布があっから エアコン無しでも夜中に凍える心配ねーんだ

C.

とはいえ、外国から来る人の大半はこの環境に慣れてねぇだろ

And in the winter the room itself doesn't get extremely cold so I'm able to make it through the night with a hoodie and beanie.

一睡もしない方がよっぽどマシって 異議申し立てしたくなるかもしれねーな

But yeah, I prefer to be able to sleep in just a shirt number three, the rice must always be fluffed.

なんつっても一晩中、蒸し暑い中で大汗かきながら寝たり 凍えるような寒さで震えることになるしな

I don't know if a couple will get divorced over this one, but if you are eating a lot of rice at home, which is common in japan, this one will definitely annoy a japanese wife on the regular C the japanese from when they start eating rice, as little toddlers are taught that rice knows you made fluffy and airy when eating so newly cooked rice in the pot looks like this kind of flat and compressed.

国際カップル間でよくある問題みたいなんだけど マイコとオラもこれに関しては同じ体験をした

Some westerners think that if you're to take a scoop of rice out yourself, you leave the rest of it just like this brand new for the next person wrong in japan, you're supposed to mix it like this and make it flow for the next person.

エアコン問題は今でもおっぱじまることが時々あっぞ

Japanese argue that it tastes way better when each grain is aired out as such.

でも今住んでる家については、ようやく マイコとオラの妥協点ってのがようやく見つかった感じ

On the other hand, I've seen firsthand, even at a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant in the States, a bowl of rice being packed down before serving it to customers maybe to maximize the portion of rice being served any way you want to piss off your japanese wife than packing a rice tightly before serving a tour.

夏はオン、冬はオフってな

See what happens number four, you must take a bath before going to bed.

今住んでんのが比較的新しい作りのコンクリ立てマンションだから 夏の間はずっとエアコンをつけてる

Now.

さすがのマイコもこの暑さじゃ エアコン無しでは寝れねーんだって

A lot of you have seen my day in the life videos and some of you have commented, why do japanese take a bath at night instead of the morning?

ありがてーことに真冬でも部屋ん中はそんなに寒くなんねーんだ

Well, it's all about cleanliness simply for many japanese women, you're not getting into bed with them without taking a bath beds are considered a clean environment in japan, many japanese don't want to sleep with someone who has been sweating outside all day or has wax in their hair.

パーカとニット帽を被れば十分暖かいから オラも文句はねぇ

Let let alone have someone enter their bed with clothes from outside mixed with dust, dirt, bacteria and wherever random place they sat on.

でも、年中Ｔシャツ１枚で寝たいってのがオラの本音だけどな

It's the same concept with leaving your shoes at the door in Japan not track in whatever you stepped on outside just to a higher level of cleanliness.

3. お米はふんわりほぐす

I even know one Japanese wife that's taking it to the extreme where you have to change even when entering the home to say a clean living room attire.

これが原因で夫婦が離婚するってーのは まぁ、無いかな

So this could be a big one.

でも毎日米をすんげー食うんだったら 妻をイライラさせるにはこれは効果テキメン

If you can't reach a compromise quickly then the relationship may be a nonstarter and if you do compromise early in the relationship, but later on stop doing it, then there could be a chance someone might start hating you.

間違いなく日本人妻をイヤ〜な気持ちにさせっぞ

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一般的に日本人は物心つく頃からコメを食って育ってて

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美味いコメはフワッとよそうものって教わるんだ

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炊きたてのコメは炊飯器を開けっとこんな感じで なんか平たくギュッとしてるよな

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自分の食べる分だけよそったら、次の人の為に 炊きたてみてーにしとくのがマナーって思うよな

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日本ではこうやって全体を混ぜて 次の人の為にふわっとほぐすのが正解

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日本人に言わせるとコメとコメの間に空気が入ることで ベチャッとするのを防げて、もっと美味く食えるんだって

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アメリカでは茶碗にギュゥッギュゥに コメを盛る日本の鉄板焼き屋も見たことがあっぞ

The bath must be washed every time before using it.

まぁ、客にたらふくコメを食べてもらいてーってことだったんだろうな

This one kind of piggybacks off the previous point.

ともあれ、日本人妻をイラつかせたければ 茶碗にコメを押し込む。それで完璧！

But yeah, cleanliness is the utmost importance in many japanese homes.

反応が楽しみだな！

A lot of japanese don't want to get into a bath that hasn't already been washed as it feels gross to them like bathing in a pool of bacteria personally, I've had to deal with this one.

４. 寝る前には必ず入浴

I'm not a bad person and prefer showers, but my wife and son are all about that bath life as all things in our marriage though, Michael and I share the load.

1日密着を観てくれてる人も多いと思うんだけど、 なんで日本人は夜風呂なのかってコメントをたまに見るんだ

So although I don't even use the bath, I wash it every day for them before they use it.

これは単純に衛生的な理由だ

If you haven't realized the theme of this video yet, it's compromised.

清潔じゃねーならベッドに入るべからず

Otherwise you might end up hating being married in Japan number six, forced to throw away frozen meat after two weeks.

寝る場所ってーのは清潔であるべきってのが常識なんだよな

So this one.

丸１日外で大汗かいてるやつと 同じベッドで寝たくねぇって日本人女性は多いぞ

Also I experienced first hand see it's common in japan to throw away meat that you've frozen yourself after two weeks, such as ground beef or ground pork.

整髪料で髪がベトついたままってのも嫌がられるかも

Now as someone from the U.

屋外のきたねーもんが付いた服でベッドに入るなんて 論外ってのは言うまでもねーよな

S.

これは玄関で靴を脱ぐ日本の文化と考え方と似てる

I'm used to meet lasting up to 12 months in the freezer, but in japan things like frozen fish and frozen chicken is said to be good for up to only one month and sticks only between 1 to 2 months.

家ん中をできる限り清潔に保つために 外で触れたモノ、踏んだモノは家の中に入れない

Apparently in japan food is intended to be eaten as fresh as possible without any loss in taste or quality.

オラはさらにレベルの高い日本人妻を知ってんぞ

And obviously safety trumps all of this.

なんと！帰宅したら外で着てた服を脱いで 「清潔なリビング着」に着替えさせられるんだって

That said there are frozen items that are professionally packed in japan that can last longer.

コレに関しては、お互いの妥協点をなる早で見つけないと そもそも交際しても無理かもしれねーよな

But yeah, when packing frozen meats yourself in this country, your partner may force you to throw away frozen meats as that's what's commonly done.

仮に付き合いてに妥協しても

This one I've just kind of gone along with as my wife does most of the cooking basically these days we just keep it simple by smaller amounts that can be eaten within a few days.

途中から辞めちまったら、これまでの 関係から急降下ってのも大いにあり得るよな

Number seven don't use a clothes dryer believe it or not.

ここでこのビデオのスポンサー スクエアスペースの紹介をさせてくれ

Even in this day and age japanese people still prefer drying their clothes by hanging them to dry it in a drying machine like this.

スクエアスペースはオンライン上で存在感をUPしたい人には マジでオススメのツール！

So much so that 88% of the japanese population hang dry their wash clothes either inside or outside.

オラのTokyo Zebraのウェブサイトも スクエアスペースで作ってっぞ

It's so much part of japanese culture that clothes hanging features are still built into newer homes, Japanese believe that it's gentler on the clothes reduces wrinkles, limit shrinking and when hanging outside in the sunlight acts as a disinfectant.

だからこそスクエアスペースが大スキだって 紹介できるってワケ！

Plus overall it's cheaper for me though.

趣味のプロジェクトを展開したい人も、これからビジネスを構築しようって人も 大満足請け合いのツールやテンプレートが揃ってて

I'm personally into the convenience of these drum washers and dryers in Japan that do everything in one continuous cycle and although my wife Michael grew up in a home where they hung their clothes, she was happy to join me in the dryer life.

いとも簡単にプロフェッショナルな仕上がりに仕上げられる

In fact, she just made some slight adjustments.

ポートフォリオやギャラリーデザインも自在にカスタマイズ出来て 変なヤツに作品が盗み見されねーよーに閲覧権限も設定出来ちゃうんだ

Like she started buying clothes that were slightly bigger to account for the dryer shrink.

ブログ機能も充実してて、コメントは勿論、返信だったりライクだったり コミュニティを強化させるためのツールがめっちゃ揃ってる

You just saved so much time with these machines, you put in your dirty clothes and they come out hot clean and dry.

オラのお気に入りは、統計ツール。 ページを訪れる人の傾向を多角的に見れんだ

So maybe for this one, even though your Japanese wife has never used one of these dryer machines in their house.

squarespace.comから無料トライアルもあるから 試してみてくれよな

If you introduce it to her that she might be likely to use it because it's just so convenient.

ローンチの準備が出来たらsquarespace.com/paolofromtokyoって 入れてくれたら最初のドメインもしくはウェブサイトは10%ディスカウントがあっぞ

On the other hand, my foreign fan who also owns a washer and dryer system like this had to abandon the dry feature as soon as he got married to a Japanese wife as she definitely preferred to hang all of their clothes.

5. お風呂は都度、洗う！

So yeah, each couple has a different threshold for what's acceptable for them and number eight, get your bowls right.

これは４番目のとチョットかぶる部分もあって 清潔感が日本家庭の多くで重要視されてるってとこに戻る

So yeah, this one personally caught me off guard as I really didn't even know it was a thing until my wife pointed it out and it's less of an, I hate you scenario.

日本人の多くが一度清掃されてねー湯船に浸かるのを嫌う

But why did you do that kind of thing in Japan?

バクテリアの温床に浸かってるみたいで 不潔な感じになるみてーだ

Probably in some other countries as well.

オラもこれについては個人的に学習した感じ

Each bowl has a specific purpose.

オラ自身は湯船よりもシャワー派なんだけど 妻と息子は湯船に浸かりたい派

Rice bowls for rice, miso soup bowls for miso soup and so on.

例えオラは浸からなくても マイコとウルフィーの為に毎日洗うってーことをやってる

Apparently putting my salsa in the rice bowl or using the miso soup bowl for my rice is a bit of a no, no in Japan.

この動画のテーマ、もう分かったよな？ その通り「妥協」だ

To be fair though, typical japanese meals have miso soup and rice.

それが出来ないと、日本人と結婚したことを後悔しちまうかもしれねーぞ

So if you do use these bowls for another purpose, it could mess up the table arrangement.

６. 二週間経った冷凍肉は、破棄

So yeah, this one definitely annoys Michael, but I make the mistake all the time.

これもオラの実経験！

So, so she just lives with it.

日本では自分で冷凍した牛ひき肉とか豚ひき肉は ２週間したら廃棄するのが一般的なんだって

But depending on who you marry, this could be more or less a forgivable offense.

アメリカで育ったオラからすると冷凍庫にある肉は １２ヶ月は大丈夫って感覚なんだけど

Fun fact.

日本では冷凍シーフードとか鶏肉は冷凍庫保存で １ヶ月までが使用期限ってのが一般的みてーだ

Did you know that rice balls in japan are not equal.

ステーキ肉に関しては保存期間は１〜２ヶ月らしい

Japanese actually have rice balls called mayo Toja.

日本は素材を新鮮な状態で味が落ちる前に 食べるってのを大切にしてるみてぇなんだ

One husband and wife rice bowls where the man's bowl is bigger and like my man biggie once said, if you don't know now, you know, I hope this video helps you and some of the cultural compromises you may need to be aware of if you decide to marry a Japanese person at the end of the day.

もちろん、食品の安全性ってのもあるけどな

It really depends on the person if they care about these such things.

長期保存用にプロが梱包した冷凍食品は もっと長く保存できるぞ

But knowing some of these points may help you guys avoid hating each other in the future.

自分で冷凍保存した場合は２週間を過ぎたらパートナーに 廃棄される可能性があるって念頭に置くといいかもな

That said, if you guys like this video helped me out and hit that like button.

これについてはオラは口出ししねぇぞ 料理はマイコがやってくれてっからさ

If you guys want to see more videos like this or anything related to Japan, hit that subscribe button and the button, I'll catch you guys in the next one.

ここ最近はシンプルに 食べられる分だけの量を買うようにしてるぞ