to make friends with benefits work, or one night stands

or even just hooking up.

Because even though I signed the social contract,

my emotions get in the way every time.

- Your honor, if you look here at exhibit 123 A

you see here a signature by Ms. Anna Akana,

attesting to the fact that she's willing to participate

in a purely sexual relationship with my client.

- I see that.

Ms. Akana

in this contract it says you consented to not catch feelings

for the duration of this term,

is that correct?

- Your honor, I absolutely did sign that contract,

but before I did, I didn't realize how handsome he is.

Yes, who's a handsome sexy little boy?

- Oh my God.

It's like Shane Dawson all over again.

- I used to think

that my inability to be friends with benefits

was just my own personal weakness.

That it was just me who was thinking with my vagina

when it came to trying to have a casual fling with a friend.

So of course, I turned to science.

- Hey there.

(laughs)

Good to see ya.

The reason why "friends with benefits"

rarely work in the longterm

is because of the handy dandy Familiarity Principle.

We are attracted to what is familiar to us.

- According to several studies,

facial attractiveness is positively correlated

to both familiarity and typicality.

Meaning we react positively to the known.

Repeated exposure,

especially exposure that is intimate or romantic,

will lead to strong feelings of affection.

- So you're saying it's not my fault.

- Oh, it's definitely your fault.

- Your chemistry's fault.

(laughs)

(upbeat music)

- There was an entire study done on the topic in 2020,

a longitudinal study of friends with benefits relationships.

The researchers wanted to explore

how these friends with benefits relationships progressed

and what predictors made them more or less likely

to end happily.

So the study was published in Personal Relationships

and it suggests that a friends with benefits relationship

only played out how people wanted it to 17% of the time.

The research also showed

that these relationships carry high levels of uncertainty

and they tend to be less emotionally and sexually satisfying

than traditional romantic relationships.

So in the study, 192 people were surveyed

at two different points in time

to figure out what people wanted out of their FWB situation

and where they wanted it to go.

So out of the 192 people surveyed,

48% hoped that their FWBR would stay the same,

25% of them hoped it would turn

into a romantic relationship,

12% wanted it to transition

to a regular friendship free of sex,

and 4% wanted no relationship at all.

The ones who were most likely

to see the relationship evolve how they wanted it to

were those who hoped it would end in friendship

and 59% of them got that desired outcome.

Whereas only 15% of those who wanted it to develop

into a romantic relationship actually got what they wanted.

The study actually concluded that communication

and aligned expectations are critical

for friends with benefits relationships to end well.

Like any relationship,

communication between the two partners played a crucial role

in determining their level of satisfaction

and how the relationship ended.

I am so glad that we were able to stay friends

through that arduous litigious process.

I'm Anna Akana,

thank you to the Patreons for supporting today's video

and thank you to LetsGetChecked

for sponsoring today's episode.

So speaking of friends with benefits,

if you're sexually active,

it's recommended to get tested at least annually

and or between partners.

As someone with an STD, I know that bringing them up

in discussions with healthcare providers

can be awkward and intimidating,

so much so that 51% of people do not get STD tests

because they don't wanna have those talks,

even though 1 million sexually transmitted infections

are acquired every day worldwide.

Well, LetsGetChecked has you covered.

LGC is an at-home testing company

that makes STD testing easy and confidential.

They've performed over 2 million tests

and are CLIA approved,

which is the highest ranking levels of accreditation.

The process is super simple:

you go to the site,

you order the Complete 8 STD testing kit,

and it arrives in a small, discreet package.

You do a small finger prick,

you send the sample back to their lab

with a prepaid shipping label

and in two to five days,

you get your results completely online.

If necessary,

a nurse will contact you for a consultation over the phone

and in some cases,

a LGC physician will provide free medication

straight to your door for a variety of STDs and STIs.

You can get 30% off your entire order with code Akana.

just visit trylgc.com/akana and enter code Akana at checkout

to ensure you and your partners

are staying safe and informed.