I encourageeverybodytochallengethenotionoffeelinglikeyourselfishifyouloveyourselforyou'llselfishifyouhavecompassionforyourself, because I canpromiseyouthatifyoutakethetimetoreallyvalueyourselfandputyourselffirstandnurtureyourselfinthewaythatyouwouldyourbestfriendoryourchildyouloveoryou'llloveon, thenyouwillbesomuchbroaderonsomuchbiggerandhavesomuchmoreloveandcompassionforothersthattheworldwillbe a muchmorebeautifulplace.
AndsomyeyesgotopeneduptosomanydifferentpossibilitiesandforsevenyearsthatmanagedtoatleastsuppressandpreventmefromthisothersidetoMay, thisdarkerhiddensideofwhere I didn't feelliketheworldmadesense.
Andwhen I rockedupattheevent, theytoldmethat I wasn't intheevent.
そして、イベントでロックアップしたら、イベントに参加していないと言われました。
Itwasliketheleadhadcomeoffinthisbigwaveoff.
この大きな波打ち際でリードが外れたような感じでした。
Problemsjustbecameexposed.
問題が露呈しただけ。
I didn't havethatoutletanymoretosuppressandpushit, pushitdown.
抑えて押して押して押し倒す、そんなコンセントがなくなってしまったのです。
Whichleadsmetothenextpartofmyjourney.
それが私の旅の次の部分につながる。
I decidedthatmaybesearchingdeeperinto a spiritualjourney, I mightbeabletofindtheanswers.
スピリチュアルな旅の中でもっと深く探せば、答えが見つかるかもしれないと思ったのです。
So I booked a triptothedialectLamaOnebagbackpackonmybackandoff I wenttoIndiathinkingthatitwasjustgonnabeaseasyandCruziasallmyothertravelshadBeaninthepast.
Butthenwhen I gottoIndiaandarrivedattheDelhiairportandtherewasn't manyhotelsavailablebecauseitwasinthemiddleofthenightandso I hadtojusttakethisreallycrabby, reallyshapedreallynastytobehonesthotelthatthatnine, I didn't getmuchsleep.
Soall I couldthinkaboutwasgettingonthisbusand I wouldbewiththeDalaiLama.
だから私はこのバスに乗ってダライ・ラマと一緒にいることだけを考えていました。
And I wasabouttobookmyticketwiththisagencyand a littleboywillyoungboy, 12 14 yearoldboycameovertomeandhestartedchattingtomeandhesaid, Oh, dietbookwiththisagencybecausetheywereinvolvedwiththemurderof a ladynamedDawnGriggs, whowasanAustralianwhohadbeentherethreeweeksbefore.
Mayyou, hecouldtellthat I waslookingstressedand a littlebitbewildered, andhesaidHe'llhe'lllookafterMayhe'lltakemeto a governmenttouristagency.
May you, 彼は私がストレスで少し困惑しているように見えたのが伝わって、He'll he'll look after May......彼は私を政府の観光局に連れて行ってくれると言ったのです。
Turnsoutthattheywere a nongovernmenttouristagencyandtheywererunning a scam, andthatinsteadofgettingmetowhere I wantedtogo, theyendedupcoercingandmanipulatingMaytogoto a placecalledCatchMe.
When I gotofftheplane, thebrotheroffthetheyoungmen, thatwasthatitactuallysoldmetheticket.
飛行機を降りた時、若者を見送った弟が、実際にチケットを売ってくれたんだ。
Hisbrotherwastherewaitingtopickmeup.
弟が迎えを待っていた。
Andbefore I evengotTeohtheplacewhere I wouldbesupposedlyonlystayingfor a coupleofnights, Heyhadfound a waytostopmanipulatingandpressuringMayinto a fearfulplacethat a menmustbatchforwomenhereandthat I shouldthat I musthandovermyticketsandmypassportsandmybank, Hud's andeverythingtohimsothathecantakecareofthat.
So, youknow, withinthefirsthour, I feltlike I wasalreadybeingcaptivatedandlosingallmypowerandfreedomandcontrolto e didn't think I wasevergoingtoleaveforformostofthattime.
Thatwasthephonecallthatwasabletodropthenumberofofwhere I actuallyWaas.
それは私が実際にWaasのどこの番号を落とすことができた電話でした。
AndsothatwasthewaythattheywereabletogettheembassiesandthepoliceinAustraliaandinIndiaworkingalltogethertotrackdownwhere I waasandimplement a rescue, andtheysentpoliceoneafternoonand I feltitliterallyjustwalkedmeup.
When I lookbacknowatthewholethingalltogether, collectivelyinregardstolikewho I amrightnow, inthismoment I feellike a wholeperson, so I feellike I wouldn't takeanyofitback.
I havenoregretsbecause I feelenrichedwithallthecolorsoflife, alltheflavorsoflife, allthegoodandthebad, and I'vegotthewisdomandtheexperiencefromallthegoodandthebad.
Ifyouhavecompassionofyourself, because I canpromiseyouthatifyoutakethetimetoreallyvalueyourselfandputyourselffirstandnurtureyourselfinthewaythatyouwouldyourbestfriendoryourchildthatyouloveoryou'llloveall, thenyouwillbesomuchbrighterandsomuchbiggerandhavesomuchmoreloveandcompassionforothersthattheworldwillbe a muchmorebeautifulplace.
Soif I wastostartworkingwithsomebodyandtheywantedTeohfindouthowtheycouldgoaboutlovingthemselvesmoreanddevelopingthatcompassion, thenthenumberonetip, I wouldsaytoanyoneisthatwhateveryou'refeelingdoesn't matterwhatitis.
Justdreamoff a lifewhereyouhavetheenvironmentthatyou'd liketohavepeoplearoundyouintherelationshipswouldliketohavethethefunandthejoythatyouliketofeelandjustdoyourbesttoignorewhatisgoingon.
That's that's what I didwhen I wasinIndiaand I wascominghome.
それは、インドにいた時のことで、帰国する時のことです。
I justsaidtomyself, Don't lookback, Have a lookbackIf I wasTeoh, leaveyouwithonetruththat I believethatwayshouldorcoldallthefiretomakeourownlivesintheworld.
A betterplace, especiallynowwithwhat's happeninginourworld, isnothatyouaresovereignthatyouareyourownauthority, thatyouhave a connectionsideofyoutoyourownsupremepower, highestpower.
So I wrotemymemoir a Dangerouspursuitofhappinesssothat I couldgointo a withthedetailsandrideitfrom a perspectiveofhealingandhotscentednoussothatthestorywasn't writteninthisheavydoctordoomandgloom, Thispoolcrazysadstory.
I wantedtorunthisstorysothat I couldgetallthetheeventsandthedaychildout, butwithclarityandwithperspective, allloveandcompassionformyselfandforalltheotherpeopleinvolvedandandthinkaboutitandfeelitfrom a placeofcompassionandloveratherthan a placeofjudgmentorshame.