Peter, you joined the Tea Party?!

That's right, Brian.

I finally got something better to do

with my Saturdays than sit at the mall

and watch Japanese girls laugh at normal conversation.

So, I drove to work this morning...

(all giggling)

And I had to stop for coffee.

(all giggling)

So, there's a Starbucks near my house.

(all laughing)

You people are a circus.

Finally, I'm part of a movement of regular people

trying to take back our government.

Look, the Tea Party isn't

the grassroots movement you think it is.

It's actually funded by Big Business types

who are using you to get the government out of their way

so they can roll over everyone.

Mom held hands with a woman at the gas station this morning.

Don't know what that means. Just reporting it.

All I'm saying is you're being used

and you're too clueless to know it.

Boy, you just think you're so superior, don't you?

Like that first creature to walk on dry land.

Hey, where'd you go?

Ah, I went for a jog. What's a jog?

It's a great way to stay in shape is what it is.

Is it like a swim?

(laughing condescendingly)

No, no, it's, it's nothing like a swim.

Wow, a lot of people here today.

Yeah. Man, I love street fairs.

They got rides, games,

and ethnic food cooked horribly by white Americans.

Tack-os! Hot tack-os here!

Oh, are those tack-os?

You better believe they're tack-os.

I love tack-os!

Especially on a corn tor-tilla.

Oh! I love tack-os on a corn tor-tilla!

Boy, they're really against socialism.

That's right. The Tea Party is all about self-reliance.

Look, there's even a Tunnel of Self-Love.

Would you like to buy a photo of yourself on the ride, sir?

No, I would not.

Welcome, everyone!

It's great to see so many regular people out here.

Folks who are tired of big government

and are ready to stand up for their rights.

Yeah! Down with the Spend-o-crats!

PETER: We are Marshall!

And now, it's my privilege

to introduce another regular, blue-collar guy,

our Quahog chapter spokesman: Joe Workingman!

(cheering and applause)

Good afternoon, friends and socioeconomic equals!

Is anyone else out there sick of government crap?

Oh, my God.

It's like he's saying everything I'm listening to.

That's right.

The government wants to tell you what foods to eat.

(booing)

And what church you can go to.

(booing)

And that you can't own a chimpanzee

because you're not responsible enough.

(booing)

I would feed it!

Also, the government wants to tell you

how many children you can have.

What?! No!

And the government wants to tell you

you can't throw your old TVs into the river.

Then how I supposed to find TV?

If you join the Tea Party, together, we can fix all that.

But you probably don't wanna join the Tea Party

because all you get are these stupid, awesome keychains!

Oh, my God, it's the keychain from the dream!