And so they went to the -- My... [ Laughs ]

This family has this summer home. Old summer home.

It's been like, five generations in the family, in New Hampshire.

And it's a beautiful place.

So, my parent's come up...

My mom calls me before she comes.

She goes, "Uh, hi, honey."

I go "Hey, Mom." She goes, "Don't hang up."

Which usually means that she has something that's gonna

make me mad and I'm gonna hang up.

So I go, "What's going on?"

She's like, "Look, it's not a big deal.

Daddy lost his front tooth last night."

[ Laughter ]

"What are you talking about?"

She goes, "He bit into something and he l--"

I go, "Well, go see a -- go to a dentist.

What are you talking about?"

And she goes, "The dentist is on vacation.

He can't go to --"

I go, "What are you gonna do?"

And she goes, "He's just not gonna smile this week."

And I go, "What are you talking about?"

And -- and.. So...

So then she goes --

So I go, "All right, I'm gonna hang up."

She goes, "Uh, don't hang up. I have one more thing.

I rubbed my eye in my sleep last night.

I have a real bloodshot eye."

And go, "Gross!" So I go --

This is my parents, you know, a pirate and a jack-o'-lantern,

all right?

So they came in a while, so they're hanging out, and then

we're hanging out there.

My mom had trouble walking, something like that.

So we're -- I'm on the second floor

with my girlfriend at the time, in separate rooms,

when over there, and...

I say hi to her, something like that,

and then we hear a knock on the door.

I go, "It can't be my mom.

She wouldn't walk up the stairs."

So my -- She goes, "What?"

So I open the door, and it's my mom.

She goes, "Everything's fine."

[ Laughter ]

So, earlier in the day, my dad jumped in the lake

to just show everybody, like...

It was actually too cold to swim,

but he jumped in for fun. He did a handstand in the lake.

It was funny. And it, like, got a laugh or whatever.

So I go, "What's going on? Is that smoke?

Mom, are you lighting the summer house,

this family's summer house on fire?

Like, what's going on?"

She's like, "It's -- No, everything's fine.

Daddy wet his money when he jumped in the lake.

[ Laughter ]

So he put it in the microwave."

[ Laughter ]

My dad --

My dad lit $500 on fire.

And there were burnt $20 bills all over the kitchen.

I go, "What are you guys doing?

You just got here! Just..."

I'm like, "She's never gonna marry me.

She's never gonna marry me."

-Five minutes, you've been... -Five minutes, you've been here.

What is going on?

And of course, he's piling up all the 20's and not smiling.

You know, like my...

[ Laughter ]

[ Audience applauds ]

I love you, Dad. I love you, Dad.