I am Jimmy Kimmel.

I'm Jimmy Kimmel.

I tried to say my name twice out loud every day now, so I don't forget it.

Which is especially important on what might be the most forgetful day of the year.

It's for 20.

Uh, not only is it for 20 it's 4 2020 this dais so stoned it's repeating itself between 4 20 all the bread people are making.

This country has never been more baked than we are today.

Unfortunately, health experts say smoking pot during the virus crisis is not a good idea.

Can irritate the lungs and make you more susceptible to illness.

And also, you might eat all the food you hoarded.

Do we even need marijuana anymore?

I mean, everybody sitting on the couch, watching Netflix and wondering what day it is already.

Later on, we will be joined by the Santa Claus off for 20 Mr Snoop Dog, assuming he can get his computer open, you know, on Saturday and I was part of ah special that aired all over the world's called One World Together at home I co hosted with Jimmy Fallon is Stephen Colbert raised $128 million proc over 19 relief.

And there were some great musical performances from Call McCartney, Lady Gaga, Eddie Vetter, Taylor Swift.

But to me, the M V p of the night was the 78 year old drummer for the Rolling Stones.

Charlie Watch.

You watch him closely here because somehow Charlie managed to play the drums without making contact with anything at all.

I assume he was aware he didn't have any drums.

At 4 20 comes it earlier in England, I think.

And while being involved in a special of that magnitude was an honor for sure, the rial excitement for me was I made it to Jeopardy kind of bestseller 200 this late night, ABC.

Funny Man was a hit with kids recently with his book about the serious goose.

No beer.

Who is Jimmy Fallon?

Close enough.

No beer.

This is week six or seven or eight or nine of the state Home order.

I don't know.

All I know is my kids have had enough.

We sat our family down for, like, our 340th dinner in a row together last night, and our son Billy said No, I want to get in the car and eat of the store specifically wanted to eat a Chuck E cheese, which I would consider at this point.

That's an essential business, right?

People are getting restless, especially people who aren't too bright.

In Florida.

On Saturday, I saw the HASHTAG Florida morons was trending, and I thought, Well, that could mean a lot of things.

But what it meant was this.

The governor of Florida reopened the beach in Jacksonville, and, of course, no one followed the rules.

Fortunately, there are no old people living in Florida who might be at risk.

So the governor of Georgia is planning to reopen tattoo parlors and bowling alleys this week, which I think that's on their state flag, right?

And thousands of Americans in more than a dozen states have gathered to protest Stay at home, not too far from us.

In Huntington Beach, this brave woman fought passionately for her right to all 31 flavors.

There was some very creative signs that illustrated this plight.

Many are experiencing so powerfully like I need a haircut, massages essential.

Jesus is my vaccine, and Buddha is my personal trainer, I think in Denver, Colorado, there was standoff between protesters and an angry health care worker.

Well, you know what they say.

It ain't over till the fat lady screams crazy right wing talking points at a medical professional who's trying to save their family's lives.

Ah, big reason why these protests are gaining steam is because our president is encouraging them, despite everyone who works for him telling people to stay at home despite the official White House mandate being shelter in place over the weekend.

The guy who runs the White House tweeted liberate Michigan, liberate Minnesota and liberate Virginia.

This from a man who refuses to even liberate Melania.

It really is irresponsible to the most unbelievable degree to be saying things.

One minute he told us to stay at home, and the next minute he says this people feel that way.

You're allowed to protest.

I mean, think they feel that way.

Watch the protests And they were all six feet apart, that it was a very orderly group of people.

Right, right.

Let's take a look at that orderly group of people who gather in Austin, Texas, to chant fired Dr Fauci.

If he thinks those people were six feet apart, it might explain why he thinks his hands or normal size.

I get that people need to go back to work.

I do.

But the point of stay at home is to get a lid on this so we can get back to work and then stay at work.

I'm starting to think these characters who support Trump might be suicidal.

They seem to fight hardest for the things that will kill them.

They want freedom to gather in large groups during an epidemic.

They want guns, they want pollution.

I figured it up.

They want to die and they're taking us down with them.

It's like if the Titanic was headed towards the iceberg and half of the passenger for, like, can you please speed this thing up?

Our president has full confidence that what these protesters are doing is not a problem.

Are you concerned, though, that people coming out in protests are going to spread Kobe?

Two other people they're congregating in ways that helped.

Experts have said they should not know these air people expressing their views.

I see where they are.

I see the way they're working.

They seem to be very responsible people to me Yes, yes, they are very respond.

They're very responsible for spreading a deadly virus.

He always manages to find the good in people, though he really seems to be loving holding these press conferences every day, rambling on about nothing, taking credit for everything that there are plenty of tests, plenty of ventilators, so many ventilators he would even send some to Iran.

On Friday.

His press conference went on for an hour, 45 minutes an hour and eight minutes on Saturday and on Sunday, an hour and 1/2.

But every one of them, he filled the important information, like when he took time to explain the difference between a swab and a Q tip.

Thing is what it's about.

Is it, uh, Does it remind you of something remind you of this, right?

Once a swab, once a Q tip, it's actually different.

It's very sophisticated, actually, but it's a little bit like so this is the swamp.

I think I speak for all of us when I say that was the worst magic trick I've ever seen.

I think he always has a Q tip in his pocket.

The reason for whatever that was is Trump finally invoked the defense production Acto order businesses to manufacture more swabs, a shortage of which are holding up tests.

He alternates between saying there are no shortages of anything and that the shortages air the governor's fault literally everything he accuses others off.

He does himself to the point where you like this has to be some kind of weird compulsion.

Like if he criticized flavor flavor for worrying oclock around his neck and a grill.

The next day someone would find this photograph and he'd act like it never happened.

You remember a guy named Hunter Biden?

You may recall the president had some concerns about him getting paid because his father was vice president.

Well, turns out the Trump campaign has been paying the wife and girlfriend of Trump's sons $180,000 a year a piece.

Those donations people make to his Maga campaign $30,000 a month that goes toe Larra, Trump and Kimberly Guilfoyle, which I guess makes sense.