that's why I spoke to my cousin, who spoke to his Mom,

who spoke to her sister, who's actually my Mom,

about a Doctor who is an expert in corona and has a vaccine.

But more importantly, he looks the part.

Bow tie, glasses, he owns books.

If this was science Tinder, I'd be swiping right.

Okay, Pete the Doc.

- Ahah, Peter, or Dr Hotez--

- Okay, so Doctor Bow tie,

how long have you been working on the vaccine

for the coronavirus?

- Actually for the last decade,

we've had a coronavirus vaccine program, and up until--

- Ah, okay, hold on, wait.

We've known about this shit for ten years?

Oh my god, I almost fainted.

Oh my god, Dr Pete.

- Well actually, much longer than that,

the first terrible pandemic,

or massive epidemic of coronavirus started in 2003.

- You knew about this shit when I was 9?

- Yep, and up until a few months ago,

nobody cared about our coronavirus vaccine program

and now we're working furiously to get this vaccine

and hope we can make a difference in this epidemic.

- [Jaboukie] Turns out they were close to a cure in 2018,

but then were denied funding.

- The bottom line is, had we had those investments early on,

to carry this all the way through clinical trials years ago,

we could have had a vaccine ready to go.

- But right now, I'm more concerned about the health

of my new best friend, and mankind's last hope.

Okay Dr Hotez, since you are old,

what are you doing to protect yourself from the virus,

since that, as an older person,

you're way more affected than a young person like me.

- There's kind of a false narrative about this virus,

that it was mostly a disease and virus of older people,

but the new numbers coming out of the

Centers For Disease Control (ominous music)

show that a quarter of those hospitalized

are people between the ages of around 20 and 40.

(boom)

Hello?

You still there?

You look a bit frozen.

(Jaboukie laughs)

- Okay, I'm sorry.

It's just you said over 20?

You said people over 20?

- Well, I said people between the ages of 20 and 40,

20 and 44--

(Jaboukie exhales loudly)

So the bottom line is,

this business that you only social distance

to protect your Grandparents, it doesn't fly.

You're social distancing to protect yourself

and your friends.

- You guys, this was my weekend!

Oh my god, Dr Hotez, please,

I went to the Apple store last week

and I touched every single iPad that they had on display.

Oh my god!

I went to these Brooklyn cough parties,

have you ever heard of this?

- Doesn't sound good.

- You go and then you cough into each other's mouths

and it's like a sort of spiritual,

sort of tantric sort of thing

and it's sometimes just marijuana but sometimes it's not.

- Don't do that again.

- Oh my god!

(Jaboukie crying)

I'm supposed to be indestructible!

(sigh)

So where's this vaccine?

- Well right now, the vaccine is in our lab

and we're trying to work with the

U.S. Food and Drug Administration

and see if we can start some clinical trials.

(clap)

- Wooo! (laughing)

We got it baby!

So what's this, this is gonna drop like, Friday?

What, like Sunday?

What are we doing, c'mon, we got the cure!

- Well, here's some bad news,

it's gonna take time to test,

because you have to go through a long period of testing,

to make sure that not only does it work,

but that it's also safe.

- Okay, so how long will that take?

- Well the models say we really need

to have something by 18 months.

- EIGHTEEN MONTHS?

- We have the vaccine manufactured, we have to vial it,

we have to now start the long process of clinical trials--

- Okay, we don't have time

for these trials, Dr Peter.

They have postponed the second season of Euphoria,

and I only have five rolls of toilet paper left.

No, I'm not gonna waste my youth waiting,

there has got to be a DIY vaccine that can be created

using everyday household items.

I also have these crystals.

- Oh, the crystals, those definitely work.

(Jaboukie laughs)

- Alright!

- I was joking about the crystals, they don't work either.

- So, can you tell me literally

one good piece of news? (claps)

- I'm happy to, and the answer is, this will pass.

The key right now is practicing that social distancing

and you'll be okay. (chime)

- Hey, I heard there's a Doc who has a vaccine?

- What, how did you-- (chime)

- I need to get my hands on that vaccine.

- How did you guys get in here?

(chime) - Dr, shouldn't Kosta

get first dibs? (chime)

- I need a vaccination. (chime)

- Whoa, if anyone deserves a vaccine, it's me.

(everyone yells over each other)

- Everyone, get off.

This is my interview.

Go.

Leave.

- Whatever, where do I

get this vaccination? - I will give you a lifetime

supply of toilet paper. - Everybody be quiet.

(Everyone yells over each other)

- Okay guys, I have to run.