妻が離婚して億万長者になった｜ビットライフ (My Wife Divorced Me And I Became A MILLIONAIRE

字幕表動画を再生する

you ladies might even accept the guy And welcome back to a little bit of big life The life and times of funny funny pits.
Patrick that the first time I've made that mistake Is it Putty Fitzpatrick senior computer programmer Sam I Mass murderer doesn't really count if he didn't do it himself and he just told somebody else to do it.
I'd say he's more of an entrepreneur in the hit man industry.
So we're what age we know.
Actually, party Fitzpatrick.
It's 45 years old.
He's about to come upon to his beautiful fifties, so plenty more time to kill people.
I am going to kill absolutely everybody today.
Everybody that I work with, all of these people dead.
I am running dangerously close.
Toto Bankruptcy.
So maybe I should by some stuff assets.
Can I do anything else?
The radio's going on my finances.
I've seen everything come over $106,000 but I'm spending it on a hit man.
Uh, real estate broker shop for properties.
No hurry.
I work close to home so I can walk there every day.
It's fine.
I'm going to sell my care.
I could take public transport.
I can even uber.
All right.
But how am I gonna afford all of these hitmen if I can't actually afford them?
I know it's simple math.
Really?
Put a post it online.
How?
It's what?
Okay.
Nobody wanted to buy your stolen Maserati.
How do they know it's stolen, though?
I'm going to do a second crime right now.
I want to see if somebody will kill my step Dad for a ski was full of horrible sentences.
No way.
Does no one want to kill my step?
That is a sentence, I just said.
All right, who else?
You know what?
It's just our goal.
My co workers.
No one was killed in an inch.
You'll be the hit men are on to me.
Maybe the hit man.
Just kill me now, Jacob Moore.
No one wants to kill anybody in my life anymore.
Fucking sucks.
You tried to start a conversation with a coworker, Evan, about who makes the best bit life videos on YouTube.
He told you he is too busy at the moment.
It's me, Jack.
Except the guy.
Oh, man.
All right, well, who is that?
Evan.
All right.
Time to kill.
I can't even pick him out of the list.
This is the saddest fucking day of my life.
I'm gonna rob a house Maraba house and said, Oh, God, I forgot to do this scene as many items as you can from the little old ladies home and escape without being caught.
Swipe to change directions.
Okay, Okay, I can do it.
Oh, I didn't know Starting already.
I thought it was just showing me a picture.
I fucked that up.
I also swipe down and it swept up.
The little lady verbally abused you and kicked you out of your house.
She managed to flee before the cops arrived.
Thank God I'm getting away with so much of this game, My happiness is down to 10%.
Sad gamer noises.
All right?
I need Thio.
I need to spend time with everybody.
You invested time and five relationship.
Your stepfather refused to spend time with you.
Of course he did.
He never wants to hang out with me.
Hey, never wants to hang out with me.
Where is he?
Stepfather things.
Come on, I wanna murder.
Except that we're gonna evolve and grow up in this game.
And I'm just gonna murder myself by the end of it.
All right, let's Let's a job.
Pregnancy.
Your wife Kira is pregnant with your baby.
What do you do?
Keep the baby.
We tried this last time.
She had a miscarriage.
So I'm hoping that this time she likes to be able to keep the baby on.
We have a nice, happy, fun, healthy life full of murder.
All right, talk to my co workers.
Who was in here?
Talk to Evan again.
Traded dogs on Shakira's hips.
He told you he's too busy at the moment.
All you had to do was tell me that the door libro I am wildly upset that I can't kill Evan.
That's that's really going to fuck me up.
She killed my accent, her husband thinks is weird.
Lady boss trying to figure out reasons for killing them.
And then I realize it's a video game.
It doesn't matter.
Sure, why not?
Oh, for the hit man going by the name of T X.
Who's willing to pull off the hit on your supervisor?
Lee?
What would you do?
Hire her Monte X right off your money without pulling off the hit on your supervisor Lily, Can I murder my hit man?
Oh, my God.
The methods of murder or sword.
Nasty performer drive by, strangled him club then pushed him off a cliff.
Elephant laxatives.
You can kill someone with an elephant.
Laxatives.
Hold on, everybody I'm reading.
I need to keep reading To upgrade my mind, To increase my mental capacity and just make me feel at ease.
I'm a read through all of little women in five minutes.
I'm like Superman picked a shorter book.
Could you shot?
Nope.
To be this way.
I'm not even taking the pages anymore.
Abandoned it.
I didn't even get happy.
Talk to Sophie again.
Sophie, what's going on?
She told me to shut up.
Sophie is always telling me to shut up.
Sophia Sophia in this list, it's not going well today.
I'm gonna have to murder on my own If I can't find a hit man to do it all right.
And go into a casino because I need to make back some money.
I've lost a lot of money.
We got to go to the coastal Shannon casino.
Uh, please.
Your blackjack bets.
Bank balance.
Okay.
Uh, I'm about 10 grand.
God, that's actually a really fucking good hand stand, mother fucker.
It's rigged.
I'm going again.
Double or nothing, E 10 yes.
Oh, God.
All right.
I want the money back that I lost.
I should quit while I'm ahead.
Unless it be Let's go again.
Go again.
I don't have a problem.
You do.
12.
13.
Pretty here is gonna take the kids.
Oh, no, Kira, Baby, Your wife Kira is argue with you because you lost money at the casino.
What would you do?
I I didn't just lose money.
I almost lost it all.
We had 37,000 in the bank and I'm down to six grand.
Apologize to work.
You know, I hear Hire a hit man of myself.
All right, let's Let's age up.
Oh, Kira had a miscarriage again.
Time to murder.
You were suffering from anxiety.
Oh, no.
Can I hire a hit man to kill it?
Can I kill my anxiety with a hit man, please?
I'll pay anything.
I lose as much money at the casino as you need.
It's all right.
I aged up.
I have another 20 grand.
I'm 47 years old.
Let's just go up to age 50.
Your wife Kira wants a divorce.
She told you she has learned that variety is the spice of life.
At 47.
What will you do?
Insult her?
One of us.
He's is Grace.
I'm going to charge her.
All right.
This is This is what happens.
All right, in the game A bit life.
If you want a divorce, you have to fight for it.
So I'm gonna charge at her if she gets past me.
She's not have the divorce.
If I buy her school and kill her, Whoa.
The chips wherever they like.
The judges recognize your pre nuptial agreement and has therefore determined no settlement amount is required to finalize your divorce.
No.
Okay.
I'm going to bite for school.
It's the same thing that happened again.
Oh, no.
You tried to buy your wife, Kira, but missed.
How How do you miss?
How do you miss biting someone like damn it?
Okay.
She stumped you.
She jammed your torso.
She busted your kneecap.
You're suffering from depression.
Oh, God.
It's all going downhill party.
What's happening?
Oh, I have a What's this?
Boost?
Happiness.
You receive an all expense paid trip to the Disney theme park of your choice from an anonymous source.
You've been feeling the need for a vacation.
What would you do?
Here I come, Mickey.
What do the hit men?
They funded a trip for me because they feel bad for stealing all my money.
You enjoy the free paid trip to Disney 90 Berg, old happiness, you happiness.
I feel like a trip to Disney would have made me a lot happier even though my wife just left me after having a miscarriage.
And then she stomped on me on Boston.
My kneecaps.
I think that I could be a little more than 30% happy right now.
Okay, Well, time to hire a hit man and kill my ex wife.
Where is she, Kira?
Use there?
No, on done, Chigir.
Satisfaction.
Guaranteed your hit man.
Anton, pull up the hit on your excuse.
Using a ray.
Good.
Well, they expect what happened.
See?
You know what?
I missed my bite there to take my shot later.
I'm no coward.
I'll just hide behind a hitman.
Let this be a lesson.
Don't divorce party, Fitzpatrick, because he will hire a hit man and kill you.
All right.
William Fitzpatrick a cheese.
I thought I died there for a second.
Your father passed away at the age of 78.
He died from Lyme disease in 2020.
Really?
Is your responsibility to plan a funeral Planets form?
All right, It's time to decide what to do with your father's remains.
His wish was to be buried.
What would you do while he's dead?
So I guess his wishes don't matter.
Berry Um information.
Taxidermy.
Donate to science.
Let's bury him.
I inherited 808,000 euro d'oh myself that died.
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel that?
D'oh!
Oh, it's all coming up party right now.
His wife left.
He doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
She's dead.
His dad died furry side.
Actually, he was very upset about that.
But he inherited 100 grand.
Almost a 1,000,000 euro after losing it all in the slots and back here is looking down from hell right now.
After divorcing me, I'm looking at, Came into the world after that.
And now my step, Their diet after me trying to reconcile with her, trying to hire a hit man A nothing would work turns out all I had to wait I had to do was wait.
An old age killed him.
Actually, it was the diabetes.
They got him.
I will skip that funeral, actually.
Happy.
This is not doing the best.
Oh, my God.
I went out for a walk and a hooker phoned me.
Life's great.
Well, in your walk you encounter Ah hooker hassling you.
What will you do?
Charger biters.
Go ignore her.
There we go.
All right.
Happiness is taking a bit of a lump in.
Uh, I've 835,000 euro in the bank.
I have no idea how I have lasted this long.
After hiring so many hitmen after getting caught burgling someone's house after trying to kill my stepdad money times after biting someone killing them party.
Fitzpatrick might be the luckiest bit life character off all time.
I did it.
I reached age 50 and I'm no longer suffering from depression.
Amazing and insurance sell American recalls you and claims that he could get you a great deal on health insurance.
What do you do?
Listen to them and politely decline Life is looking up for party Fitzpatrick after his wife left him and got mysteriously murdered by somebody.
Everything's turning out great.
50 years old, he's happier than he's ever been.
Health is not doing great, But you know what health and age they don't really like.
Go together, do they?
I mean, they do for a while, and you could work really hard on him.
But sooner or later, your health wants to divorce your age and shit goes to tits.
Type for crime.
Let's hire a hit man to do something I don't need to kill my stepdad anymore.
Could kill more of my co workers.
But is that really worth it anymore?
You know, a pickpocket, a stranger, A biker might not the date cycle fast.
We will be able to catch up with me because they'll be gone by the time they realize their You know what?
I'll just I just do a little pickpocket, get 100 100 euros.
Oh, the biker chase after you and screaming at you to return his wallet.
Take it.
It's time for my signature Move.
It's time toe bite his skull.
Wait.
There's this school.
Oh, his school's not there.
What am I supposed to do without my signature move?
by his mouth.
You bit the bikers most and you smacked him Is bingo The biker called the cops on.
You know, after all the hit men that I hire all the places I rob and all the people that I accidentally cured life from, uh, it's biting Someone of the mouth that gets me even charged with assault on are facing one year in prison with local law firm.
Which local law firm?
When you hire, uh, let's go with I have a lot of money.
I could do that.
Oh, the judge has asked you to make a plea surrounding your charge for assault.
If you plead guilty, you may receive a shorter sentence that if you were convicted in a trial, how will you please not guilty?
You've been found not guilty of his hold.
I'm still chewing on the dude's lips of the court and they're like, Hey, part he didn't do it.
He's fine.
He's grand.
Let Heidi go.
I'm gonna post on Twitter 50 single and ready to mingle.
13 likes.
That's not great from a gun.
You know the people who are dead in my I have to bet dead pets and three dead.
Family members only have three relationships to spend time with.
No.
Oh, God.
Oh, but things were looking up, though.
I'm happy about this.
Let's do some mind and bodies of meditation.
Nice.
Everything's great.
Let's go to the gym, though.
I need to keep my body healthy if I have to run away from all of these people who were gonna try and come after me for murdering them on, I'm no longer suffering from anxiety.
You see, that's what the game is trying to tell you.
All you have to do is reach 50 years old.
Hire a hit man to kill dozens of people, divorce your wife, kill her on, then inherit a bunch of money from your dad who just tight on then anxiety and depression.
God, it was ridiculous.
Off course has been time with wait half Sister Fay.
She has no idea of the atrocities that I've committed.
All right, Evan, I am going to have a conversation with you one more time.
We had a conversation about the best place to have sex, and you were too busy for that coma on, bro.
All right, You know what we're gonna do?
I'm gonna prank him.
A little taste for what's to come.
You gave your coworker, Evan a secret glitter bomb package to blew up in his face.
Dude, I said it wanted to prank.
I'm not ruin his entire life.
I don't think that I can actually murder him.
No, I feel like I've murdered him already.
Sophie, how about a conversation?
Sophie?
She told me to shut up again.
Trade once more.
Sophie train once more.
Tony Soprano Mr.
Soprano himself is going to kill Sophie.
Your hit man, Tony Soprano pulled off the hit on your coworker.
Sophie using a knife.
Oh, your hit man.
Tony Soprano is now threatening to kill you or the knife to unless you pay him another 19,500.
Tell him a deal is a deal.
I'm standing my ground again.
It worked for the last hit, man.
It's gonna work for this guy.
Please, Bryan.
Oh, types.
You with a knife?
He stopped your torso.
Shit.
What they think was gonna happen when I hit mine that I hired to kill somebody with a knife, turned around and asked for more money and end tonight.
Him and he stabbed me with a knife.
Goddammit!
I'm after they go to the emergency room.
It they're like, what happened?
What give you this?
Like, whole shaped stab wound in your belly is like I fell on my lunch.
All right.
Time to thin out the workload.
Time to hire more hit men to kill everybody.
Okay, Can't do that.
That's fine.
I'll just try the next person.
Adam Stuart's?
No.
Apparently, they haven't wronged me.
No hit man wants to do it.
They think I'm cold hearted.
Adam's Scheuer's.
Then they just try and kill him, All right.
No hit man.
Want to even come within a mile of me anymore?
Probably found out the Tony Soprano.
Stab me and think I'm dead.
Let her retire.
I have enough money in the bank.
I'm 52 years old.
I think it's time.
I think if you're 52 years old, you always have a 1,000,000.
You're I think you're fine years at the company.
15 years until eligible.
Five.
Just no.
Just resigned.
Then who cares?
All right.
I think it's time to emigrate.
Try to move to another country.
Where do I want to go?
I've killed enough people here.
I worked there.
But it would be foolish of me to stick around and just keep killing people in the same place over and over again.
Eventually, they're gonna figure it out.
I got lucky already.
I want to move to where do I want to move to trainer?
Jamaica, Australia.
Australia proved your immigration request.
I now live in Perth.
Hell, yeah, that worked out great.
We don't get a murder opportunities.
We haven't Perth.
Well, obviously I have to steal a car.
I have to steal a car to get around.
All right.
Inside.
Very walkable town.
A Ford F 4 50 She'll write up.
No.
Oh!
Oh, fine.
I go to the doctor again.
God, there we go.
You successfully stole a Dodge Durango.
Not too bad Grand.
Whole care.
Good job.
Good job.
I know I could technically, by my own car.
But why would I buy my own car and talk to people when I can steal and murder?
You know, that's the party Fitzpatrick way.
Let's scrap this old car so I don't need it.
It's back in Ireland.
I'm gonna sell my house back home, drop it down a little, brand.
I have 1.1 million euro.
I am rich beyond all belief in this game right now.
I went from losing it all on my wife, leaving me to suddenly coming into a great fortune.
You know, I'm just an entrepreneur like that.
You don't need to find some friends.
Where is it all over finding people to love.
But there's no thing to find friends.
I could change my will.
Now leave all my money to charity.
Hell, yeah.
My wife is dead.
I left it all to her, but she died first.
So mysteriously, weirdly, she hit by a blimp.
How often does that happen?
I'm going to go out on a date.
Why not 57 year old Gemma McKay There a lieutenant at Perth Police Department.
Ask rid.
Oh, wait.
This could be the end Hope with the adrenaline.
Oh, dating someone who's on the police force while I commit the crimes on the side.
This'll Netflix show writes itself here that that's the sound of me and Gemma doing the horizontal shuffle.
I think it's going pretty well.
They have no idea that I am the mass murder party.
Fitzpatrick old dirty potty as they called me back hole.
I was always in the headlines.
How many people have been killed by old dirty party?
Now?
We'll never know.
Some of your friends are going to the horse races.
Will you join them?
I don't have any friends.
Who are these mysterious people that I am going to the races with, uh, place your bets.
Oh, I have to bet.
I just want to watch.
You know what?
I'm a great gambler.
I've had great looking it before.
I'm going to go with top four place about a 50 k.
Okay, Dwight, could I do anything else?
Come on.
Come on, Top foot.
Come on, top foot.
Fucking no loan.
Come on, top foot.
You dirty bastard.
Came third.
What?
You saw you anyway, Your girlfriend Gemma, is arguing with you because you lost money at the races.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Damn it impacted your present happiness again.
Your girlfriend Jemma told you that you're a perfect end.
Apart from the fact they just lost 50 grand at the races.
I'm a perfect 10.
Thank you, Gemma.
I think that you are also good.
What else should I do with Patty?
Travel back in time.
What?
I can do that.
Let's whether the fertility clinic first birth fertility is not interested in your sperm reason.
Age too old to donate sperm.
Oh, no.
All right.
Uh, should I try and take a time machine back to when life was easier for party?
Fitzpatrick likes pretty great from now, though.
I don't know if you want to ruin that.
Supposed to tweet about hell, yeah.
Oh, man.
I could be a videogame tester, or it could be a go go dancer.
I wanna be a go go dancer.
You called her express interest in to Go go dancer position at Amelia's disco.
But the reception is answering the phone.
Laughed in your face and then hold open.
Let's just That's just rude.
Can I Can I hire a hit man to kill her?
No.
What is this?
That's killer random Pogue rocker, I guess.
Run off with my money.
A hit man to kill hit Man.
You haven't been feeling very attractive lately and are looking for ways to become a little more sexy.
What will you do?
Shop for some hip odes, get some silk underpants, getsem style and sunglasses, or get a stylish new haircut?
You know what?
Surprise me.
What are we getting?
Rolled the dice, get some silk undies?
There's a Tony Robbins motivational.
Oh, yeah.
Hell, yeah.
Tony Robbins can uplift anybody.
Have you ever listened to a Tony Robbins speech?
Even if it's all bullshit, Or even if you didn't know what he was talking about every time I listen to what I'm like, yeah, I'm going to go out and get that taco that I want it.
All right.
Party's 56 right now.
I want to get him to great.
Let's spend some time with a girl.
I want to get him to age 60 Parent.
Why not?
A person dresses a superhero has told you he needs to bring the contents of a package to Ukraine.
Wait, was there?
Go away, Stinky.
I don't want to go to Ukraine with a random package.
Your friend lets you borrow his cut a deal.
Diab Diop.
Trick kinda.
Diop Trick telescope.
I've never seen that one before my life.
Uh, what?
Would you check out the hotties at the pool?
I'm gonna check out Uranus.
No, I'm no.
I'm gonna check out the meteor shower.
That's pretty cool.
All right.
One more age and I have hit 60.
Your girlfriend Gemma's asked you to take her.
Toho made mini pizzas off course and we'll we'll have a grand old time.
Look at this.
Age 60 on I'm living my absolute best life looks 96 smarts 99 Health and happiness at 100% at 60.
Can you be any better than party?
Fitzpatrick?
At this point, nobody can live up to this man's legacy.
Should we get married at 60?
Okay, propose.
This is this is scary.
I'm very nervous and weirdly at age 60.
I'm more nervous for putty than I was when he was in his twenties or thirties.
Yes.
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
You feel D'oh!
Oh, this is marvelous.
We're gonna have the best wedding.
But you guys, we're gonna have to wait until the next episode to figure out how party fits.
Patrick's life is going.
Do you guys want to see him go down a virtuous path to reform his life to get over all the hitman killings and just grow old with Gemma for the rest of their lives?
Or do you want to go to see him?
go down the world of debauchery Morgana bubbling, more murders, Maur hitmen.
It's up to you.
I leave it in your hands the next episode.
Very well.
Could be the last one.
But if you enjoyed this one, don't forget to leave a big old like on it or Putty fits.
Patrick's gonna hire a hit man to come to your house and kill you with a Reagan that read.
Probably bite you in the school and you die.
Okay, Pleasant dreams.
Goodbye.
All those murders making me hungry.

妻が離婚して億万長者になった｜ビットライフ (My Wife Divorced Me And I Became A MILLIONAIRE | BitLife)