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  • If you don't have a goal, you suffer.

  • And then you get cruel, bitter and resentful.

  • And then you start to actively try to make the world's worst place.

  • And so so because you can't suffer pointlessly without becoming bitter, and you can't become bitter without becoming cruel.

  • So you need a name.

  • That question is, then the question better.

  • What?

  • You should, Dave.

  • Yeah.

  • Better aim, that's for sure.

  • So then the question is, what should you be?

  • Welcome, Everyone.

  • Back to school.

  • Greens podcast.

  • We've got the legendary Jordan Peterson in the house.

  • Get to see a sir could see and very excited about this.

  • You've got a book out called 12 Rules for Life makes you guys check this out.

  • You probably already got it.

  • But if you don't, I'm telling you, go pick it up right now.

  • An antidote to chaos.

  • Uh, you've had so much attention over this last couple of years, and I've been digging into the research and just been fascinated by everything that you've been up.

  • Thio and I just love your stance on the vision you have for humanity in terms of how we can all live better lives.

  • And I think you simplify a lot of things in this book, which some things people don't like to simplify it like to complicate.

  • And I think that's what's gotten you.

  • A lot of attention is that you try to really simplify a lot of these.

  • Well, I try to make everything concrete so that it's actually implementable, right?

  • I mean, there's a lot of high level abstractions in the book because it ranges up into the theological and the philosophical, but it's always grounded in what you can actually do in your life.

  • Practically, you wantto bridge that gap from the highest abstraction down to the lowest level of behavior so that it becomes implementable.

  • That's how philosophical concepts take on their meaning because they have to.

  • They have to have some impact on the way you see the world, and the way you act in the world or they're not fully realized they're not understood has partly what we mean.

  • I would say when we say that we understand something, it's kind of a state strange phrase to understand something, but it means to be able to embody it in a shift of view and a shift of action and then you've got it.

  • It's graspable.

  • It's in your hand.

  • Embody something in a shift of you, mother, you're saying what is the same thing?

  • Because your perceptions are very tightly linked to your actions.

  • Because, of course, when you're acting you're aiming at something.

  • You have to be devoted towards some some some aims.

  • Some target.

  • Would we play that Odin sports all the time.

  • That's why sports are so entertaining for people is because they dramatized the idea of a MME.

  • Right and then not only of aimed but of the pursuit of excellence in pursuit of that aim.

  • That's the game, and the reason it's a spectacle in the reason that people participate in it is because it dramatizes something absolutely essential about life.

  • And so you want to take philosophical abstractions, and you want to use them to, to structure your aim, and then your perceptions organize around.

  • That came on and then you act it out and then you've got that's then then it's It's become part of your life is not just a it is not just a philosophical abstraction that floats free in space.

  • Why is there so much conflict in the world?

  • is because there's so many different perceptions that people have well, they think should be right or was sure Well, part of it is part of it.

  • Of course, there's conflict because we have real problems.

  • And so life is actually difficult.

  • Independent of the psychological foolishness, let's say independent of the obstacles that we put in our own path like it's already, it's already fatally challenging.

  • Right?

  • Life is the ultimate challenge.

  • We will die.

  • Yes, yes.

  • And so there is a challenge.

  • Yes, well, sort of fear paying all those Yes, all the thing.

  • All Everything that goes along with suffering is a challenge, and it's it's It's the full challenge because it takes everything you have.

  • And so part of the reason we disagree is because there are complex problems to solve.

  • And then we also disagree because we're willfully blind and because we're more ignorant than we should be.

  • And we're not everything we should be.

  • And we took towards malevolence from time to time, and we betray each other and ourselves.

  • And so we take a bad lot in many ways and make it worse.

  • Not always, obviously, and we don't have to, but that's sort of the baseline that we're working against.

  • I think people are most disappointed in life when they're disappointed in themselves.

  • You know, they see that they've made things worse than they had to be, even though the baseline can be pretty brutal.

  • So, yeah, so the book and all my lectures, I suppose are are, are put forward in an attempt to take the high level philosophical abstractions and to make them into something that's actionable and to take the next best action in your life to improve your life.

  • So we want to suffer as much while and hopefully also so that people around you don't have to either.

  • So one of the things I've been talking to my audience is a boat.

  • Is the relationship between responsibility and meaning, which is What would you say?

  • It's a It's a constant refrain in the book.

  • It's one of its underlying message is, let's say or themes is a better way of thinking about it.

  • Um, you know, if you start with the presumption that there's a baseline of suffering in life and that that can be exaggerated by as a consequence of human failing as a consequence of malevolence and betrayal and self betrayal and deceit and all those things that we do to each other and ourselves that we know that aren't good.

  • That amplifies the suffering.

  • That's sort of the baseline against which you have to work.

  • And and it's contemplation of that often that makes people hopeless and depressed and anxious and overwhelmed and all of that, and and they have the reasons.

  • But you need something to put up against that, and what you put up against that is meaning.

  • Meaning is actually the instinct that helps you guide yourself through that catastrophe.

  • And most of that meaning is to be found in the adoption of responsibility.

  • So if you think, for example, if you think about the people that you admire while you think about when you have a clear conscience first, because that's a good thing to aim at, which is something different than happiness, right?

  • A clear conscience is different than happiness.

  • That's better.

  • Yeah, that's better.

  • Guilting yourself, you're not feeling bad about us.

  • That's right.

  • You feel that you've just to claim you've justified your existence, right?

  • And so you're not waking up a three in the morning in a cold sweat, thinking about all the terrible things that you've involved yourself in, what you said to someone that you shouldn't have said and why you acted or what opportunity you lost or yeah, or or the things that you've that you've let go, that you should have capitalized on all of that.

  • And so if you think about the times when you're at peace with yourself with regards to how you're conducting yourself in the world, it's almost always conditions under which you've adopted responsibility, right at least the most.

  • The most guilt I think that you can experience, perhaps, is the sure knowledge that you're not even taking care of yourself so that you're leaving that responsibility to other people because that's pretty pathetic.

  • And I unless your psychopathic and you know and you're living a parasitical life on DDE that characterizes a very small minority of people and an even smaller minority think that's justifiable.

  • But most of the time you're in guilt and shame because you're not, you're you're not.

  • Not only are you not taking care of yourself, let's say so.

  • Someone else has to, but you're not living up to your full potential And so there's a existentially wait that goes along with that souls.

  • You suffer even more who, when you don't take care of yourself or take the best actions or do the work that you know, you can D'oh!

  • You rely on someone else too.

  • Support you financially, emotionally, physically what?

  • Home?

  • Whatever.

  • Maybe.

  • Yeah, because you're not only you're not only not being what you could be, you're interfering with someone else being what they could be, right?

  • So you're you're not only avoid, you're a drain.

  • Jesus, that's a catastrophe.

  • And but we usually don't even know it when we were in that situation because we're in a depressed state or were or we don't want to see it.

  • You know, you wake up at three in the morning and you know, and so and then you think of the people that you so you admire yourself.

  • Or perhaps you could at least live with yourself when you're taking responsibility, at least for yourself.

  • And so that settles your conscience.

  • But then if you look at the people that you spontaneously admire and so the act of spontaneously admiring someone is the manifestation of the instinct for meaning rights.

  • And this is partly why people are so enamored of sports figures, because the sports figures are playing out the drama of attaining the goal of attaining a certain kind of, let's say, psychological and physical perfection in pursuit of the gold.

  • That's the drama and to spontaneously admire that is to have that instinct for meaning latch onto something that could be used as a model.

  • And then that model should be transcribed into something that's applicable in life.

  • When you really like to see in an athletic performance, you really like to see someone who's extremely disciplined and in shape do something physically remarkable but and to stretch themselves even beyond their previous exploits, because you really like to see a brilliant move in an athletic match.

  • But you also like to see that person in Sconce Tin a broader moral framework so that not only are they trying to win and disciplining themselves in pursuit of that victory and then stretching themselves so they're continually getting better, but they're doing it in a way that helps develop their whole team, and that's good for the sport in general.

  • And that reflects well on the broader culture a great leader and their team.

  • They're positive.

  • They're good sportsmen.

  • Who against the competitors, not negative towards other people.

  • They're lifting them up.

  • Thio.

  • Yeah, like the ultimate.

  • That's right.

  • So the human, that's right so that they can.

  • They can work for their own improvement in a way that simultaneously works for the improvement of their team and and and for this sport.

  • And while I meant to the degree that that spills over into the broader culture, so much the better.

  • So that's all being dramatized in a in an athletic event.

  • And it's really it's not philosophical.

  • It's concrete dramatized in the world.

  • And that's what the game's represent.

  • And so well, it's partly because, well, it's some sense.

  • Life is a game, It is, is in that you're always the analogy is that in life, like in sports, you're you're you're setting forth the name and then arranging your perceptions in your actions in pursuit of that and that you also we generally do it while cooperating and competing with other people.

  • That's also the game like element as well.

  • All of that's dramatized in athletics.

  • That's like philosophy for people who aren't philosophical and I'm not being smart about that.

  • It's like it really is philosophy for people who aren't being philosophical because it's played out, you know, and you can see it, too.

  • You can see the spontaneous appreciation for the human spirit manifest itself when you see people rise to their feet spontaneously in a sports arena, when they see someone do something particularly remarkable, see an athlete who's extremely trained stretch themselves beyond what you think is a normative human limit, and everyone celebrates that like spontaneously.

  • So it's quite something, too.

  • Yeah to behold.

  • So take me back to a responsibility and meeting when we're watching sports for someone to do this act.

  • What does this do for us With interns, responsibility and meaning?

  • Well, it it helps us figure out what we can imitate.

  • Give us a model.

  • Yes, it's a model model of something that I respect.

  • While even what philosophy is or even theology, for that matter is an abstract mortal, like it's laid out in words.

  • Now the problem often is.

  • It becomes so abstract that people don't know how to bring it back down to throwing bodies.

  • Yes, where is something like like the drama of a sports event is sort of midway between philosophy and action, right in.

  • So it's it's not entirely abstracted because it's not only coated in words, it's acted out visual.

  • You can see an example of what this happens, and you can try to reverse engineer.

  • How they Yes, exactly.

  • Well, at least at least you, the fact that you admire the person means that you might start to try to act like them.

  • Now it's not easy, and maybe that would mean maybe that would mean that you start to discipline yourself with regards to a particular sport.

  • But it might also be that you start to mimic or are at least affected in some way by their sportsman sportsmanlike behavior right, which is the ground of a certain kind of ethic.

  • Because if you can play well with others, which is sort of the hallmark of a good sport than that actually means that you're a reasonably sophisticated and civilized person, it's really important to learn to play well with others.

  • There isn't that's the ground of ethics, and you can do it there and that setting.

  • Then hopefully you could translate into well, well, right that's exactly right.

  • That's what goal.

  • Well, that's what you hope for.

  • Yeah, that's the goal of this.

  • So if the if the goal of the game is to put the ball through the ball into the net, then the goal of having games is to produce people who can take proper aim no matter where they are.

  • Right?

  • That's exactly what we're trying to do with with with with athletics.

  • So, uh, so I've been talking to my audience is a lot about that about well, there's more to it, too, because if the background of life is is, there's an ineradicable component of suffering.

  • And that's complicated by, let's say, malevolence and the proclivity of people to be trade themselves and others, which which complicates it, makes it worse then the if you don't have a noble aim, and if that isn't imbuing your life with sustainable meaning, then you fall prey to all the catastrophe, the pain and the anxiety and the anger that that suffering generates.

  • And that makes you bitter because what I'm here to say is that and correct me if I'm wrong, we must have an aim in our life, no matter what stage of life were again.

  • And if we don't have some type of Amy, even if for a few months oven aim of going somewhere direction we're gonna suffering is gonna be even more suffering pointless because we're already gonna face the greatest challenge.

  • Is your stuff already struggling?

  • That's right.

  • There's no way adversity is coming, no matter what answering, We have big goals or small little goal or whatever.

  • Maybe, but it's gonna be less suffering if we have an aim.

  • Yeah, well, not only that, it's worse than that, even because the suffering is with zero meaning while this suffering is pain and the suffering is anxiety and uncertainty and the suffering is hopelessness.

  • But the consequence of all that is that you get better.

  • And when you get better, you get mean and you get cruel and you start to hurt yourself and other people.

  • So it's not only that if you don't have a goal, you suffer.

  • It's that you.

  • If you don't have a goal, you suffer, and then you get cruel and bitter and resentful, and then you start to actively try to make the world a worse place, and so so because you can't suffer pointlessly without becoming bitter, and you can't become bitter without becoming cruel.

  • So you need a name.

  • The question is then the question of whether what you should do.

  • Yeah, yeah, better aim, that's for sure.

  • So then the question is, what should your A and B We have a program is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about today I have this website called self authoring dot com, and that program helps people write about their life.

  • And so there's a past authoring program T.

  • To establish a ream, you have to know where you are.

  • It's like you're trying to orient yourself on a map.

  • You can't orient yourself on a map unless you know where you are.

  • You also have to know where you're going, right?

  • So those are the two relevant things.

  • The past are three.

  • Program helps people write about their life, so it's a guided autobiography.

  • We ask people to break their life up into six parks exceptions and then to write about the emotionally important events in those it's in those parks.

  • And to detail out why, why the positive things happened and why more about could conceivably happen in the future and to detail out why the negative things happened and to try to understand why with a name to not replicating them in the future, because the purpose of memory isn't to remember the past.

  • The purpose of memory is so that you you figure out what went wrong when something went wrong.

  • So you don't duplicate it in the future.

  • That purpose of memory in the past authoring program can help people catch up, and you know you have to catch up.

  • If you have memories that are older than about a year and 1/2 that's still cause you emotional pain.

  • When you think about them, or if you dwell on them, they come spontaneously.

  • Back to mind means you haven't.

  • It means that there's part of your life that you haven't mapped out properly, and it still has emotional valence that's gripping.

  • You're still holding on to that story, or it's still holding onto you, right?

  • You gotta go.

  • Yeah, yeah, well, you haven't been able to navigate your way through it.

  • There's a pitfall there that you fell in and you don't know how to avoid similar pitfalls in the future.

  • And that's why you won't let it go, because it's saying that's what the anxiety systems do.

  • It's like this happened to you.

  • It wasn't good this happened to you.

  • It wasn't good this happened to you.

  • It wasn't good.

  • Fix, fix, fix, fix that will never go away unless you fix.

  • How do you fix it?

  • While you have to figure out why it happened, right, That's the first thing is like, How did you How was it that that situation rose to pull you down?

  • And that's not simple.

  • That's why Well, that's why we have the writing program, because it's complicated to think through but you.

  • But if you face it and you and you meditate on it, let's say and said, You do this voluntarily.

  • There's a pretty high probability that you'll be able to decrease the probability that will be repeated in the future.

  • So and go ahead and go.

  • Well, well, well.

  • The second part of the program helps people do an analysis of their virtues and their faults, the same sort of idea.

  • What's good about you that you could capitalize on what's weak about you that you need to fix so that it doesn't bring you down, right?

  • That's the present or three.

  • But the future, offering programs probably most relevant to you and your listeners because you're interested in helping people establish aims.

  • And so we already talked about the fact that you need a name in life, or that's where you derive your meeting.

  • And without that, things go to help and, as literally is, that can be taken and so.

  • But it's not easy to ask people to say what's easy to ask them?

  • What do you want?

  • Your life?

  • It's a very hard question.

  • Answer because it's too vague and grant day.

  • So we help in the future offering program.

  • We help people break that down.

  • It's okay.

  • So here's the situation.

  • So you put yourself in the right frame of mind.

  • So what's the right frame of mind?

  • It's like rule to in this book.

  • Treat yourself like you're someone responsible for helping.

  • You're someone that you are responsible for helping.

  • So what that means is you have to start from the presupposition that despite all your flaws and insufficiencies that it's worth having you around and that it would be okay if things were better for you.

  • So you need to take care of yourself like you're taking care of someone you care for.

  • So there's a bit of a detachment in that, and then the next thing is Okay, so now look.

  • 3 to 5 years down the road, okay?

  • You get to have what you need and want so mean you're being reasonable and that you actually want it, Which means you're willing to make the sacrifices that would that would make it possible.

  • What do you mean by reasonable?

  • Well, that that's that's the next thing.

  • Well, within your grasp, that would be something.

  • What if something is out of your grasp, but you still push hard enough?

  • Well, then you need.

  • Then you need an incremental plant.

  • You need to break that gold down into steps from raising goal within a year.

  • That's like having done the work to master a skill yet.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, well, that's it.

  • And you can have a high end goal and more power to you.

  • If you do, you need it.

  • Well, you need a pathway to it.

  • You know, if if it's 10 stories up above you, you need a staircase to get there right?

  • And so you have to build the staircase to And so in the future, offering programs.

  • So you're asked.

  • First of all.

  • Okay, here's you get to have what you want to need.

  • That's the proposition.

  • But you have to aim at it.

  • You have to define it.

  • Name at it.

  • So So then the first thing is OK, if you could put your family together the way you wanted it to be, what would that look like?

  • And so that might be your siblings and your parents.

  • But that also might be, you know, your wife for your husband and your kids.

  • Assuming that you're at that point in your life, you could have the family you wanted.

  • What would that look like?

  • Right.

  • Okay, Career.

  • Same thing.

  • You get to have the career or the job that that is within your grasp, necessary and and suitable for you if you were taking care of yourself.

  • Are you gonna educate yourself?

  • Because you're not as smart as you should be?

  • There's a lot more things you need to know.

  • So you got to keep learning and moving forward.

  • So you need to plan for that.

  • How are you gonna take care of yourself mentally and physically.

  • Right?

  • So, um, how are you going to avoid that?

  • The catastrophic temptations, for example, of drugs and alcohol?

  • Because that pulls a lot of people down.

  • You need a plan for that?

  • You're gonna be a social drinker.

  • How much you're gonna drink?

  • How much is too much?

  • What about your drug use?

  • You gotta regulate that.

  • So it isn't a pitiful How are you going to use your time meaningful and productively outside of work?

  • We need a plan for that.

  • So that's there's one other that six myself, right?

  • Yeah, I think they're seven initial questions, and I don't I don't remember the last 10 intimate relationship, Of course.

  • So you have you Do you want?

  • Do you want a long term, stable, intimate relationship?

  • And if you do, Then how would you like that to lay itself out?

  • You gotta have vision for that.

  • Because if you don't have a vision, you're not a mad it.

  • And if you don't aim at it, then you won't even see the opportunities when they arise.

  • That's the thing that's so cool.

  • I wrote about this in chapter 10 which is be precise in your speech.

  • It's a chapter about the fact that Ames structure your perception.

  • So, for example, once you aim at something, your brain literally that perceptual structures in your brain in your visual cortex reorient themselves to calculate a pathway to the aim.

  • And then what they show you in the world is obstacles to that path and open pathways to the path.

  • That's actually how the world reveals itself.

  • Just like just like when you're driving in a car and you have a map and you or you aim at a particular place, then all the things that are related to that place show up in the world.

  • It's exactly the same thing because you are traveling through time and space, right, and you need a map.

  • And so so after you answer these seven questions, and you're encouraged to do it badly because you don't have to get a perfectionistic just complete right because of bad.

  • Bland is better than No plan gives you something to improve.

  • So even if you're a game is vague and even if it's off target.

  • If you start aiming and you see your off target, then you can shift and you could make it more precise to start to recognize what you don't want in that Yes, exactly.

  • So I thought I wanted this, but I don't let me re navigate and figure out what I do exactly.

  • And you might have to try a bunch of Well, you will have to.

  • You could be.

  • That's why you shouldn't get perfectionistic about it.

  • You will absolutely be wrong, but you won't be as wrong as you would have been if you were aimless, right?

  • So it's so there's a bit of a man's land.

  • No man's land is Norris than Room is worse than a bad path.

  • That's exactly right.

  • Like that sound.

  • That's good.

  • That's a good one.

  • And it's right.

  • It's right.

  • You don't want to be a no man's land.

  • Why did you use that phrase?

  • Because that's right.

  • That's exactly right.

  • I think for me, the idea of walking around aimlessly is like the worst idea in the world.

  • It's like zero purpose, your omission, zero certainty at all.

  • It's like walking around in no man's land right aimlessly.

  • But it's funny, too, because it no man's land, everybody shooting at you because that's a military term.

  • No man's land is the space in the middle when everyone positions.

  • You bet.

  • So if your aimless you're also the place where everything is shooting at U s.

  • Oh, it's a very good metaphor that came to mind.

  • Yeah, but that's why I'm marked on it.

  • That's very cool.

  • So then we say to people, Okay, look.

  • Now, Okay.

  • Now you've thought about this for a while.

  • It's nice to do this over a couple of days to because then you get to sleep on it, and that helps reorient yourself.

  • So then, Okay.

  • Now you write for 20 minutes.

  • Don't worry about grammar spelling.

  • This isn't This isn't a composition exercise, right?

  • Get to have what you want.

  • 3 to 5 years down the road.

  • What does your life look like?

  • Hypothetically.

  • Write it up.

  • Okay, so then that's the first part.

  • The second part of the exercise is now you've got your thing Day, Matt.

  • Think.

  • Well, I'm motivated cause I got my thing.

  • I think they aim at it.

  • It's like you're not as motivated as you could be, because you don't yet have you thing to run away from, because if you really want to be motivated.

  • You want to be going somewhere, and you want to be not going somewhere else.

  • Which typically is a pain.

  • Yes.

  • Weiner anxiety that some Some domain of suffering and guilt.

  • I don't want to feel this anymore.

  • Yes, exactly.

  • Exactly.

  • So So The other thing we asked people is Okay, now take stock of your weaknesses and imagine that you let them multiply.

  • You got hopeless and you argued in and things were as bad for you as they could be in 3 to 5 years.

  • What are some examples of weakness is that people might have.

  • They lie, They procrastinate, they avoid their grandiose, their narcissistic thereon disciplined, their nihilistic there.

  • Aimless.

  • All of those things, right.

  • Victim mentality they take.

  • They take the quick way out.

  • They pursue impulsive pleasures.

  • They sacrificed meaning for expediency.

  • They don't take care of their basic responsibilities.

  • They fight stupidly with their parents.

  • They don't.

  • They don't negotiate properly with their spouse their bitter at work.

  • Because they haven't said what they have to say.

  • They haven't thought through what they're doing tomorrow.

  • They drink too much.

  • They smoked too much.

  • They take too many drugs.

  • They don't regulate their.

  • Yeah, just like that.

  • And everyone knows the man.

  • What he knows and everyone's got a set of weakness is that they know about.

  • So we say.

  • All right, what are some of your weakness?

  • Isn't like three weaknesses that, you know, right now you could still work on.

  • And three things you think are really well, a lot of things.

  • A lot of things are things that I've taken care of in my life.

  • Like I used to smoke when I was a kid.

  • I smoked a pack a day.

  • I used to drink a lot.

  • I didn't work out like there, there, there.

  • I wasn't nearly as disciplined as I should have.

  • Bean.

  • I wasn't just careful with what I was saying.

  • And I suppose loose my most likely negative outcome probably would have Bean.

  • I really liked to drink.

  • Like alcohol is already good drug for me.

  • And I didn't want this on that.

  • Well, partly it was mostly because the opportunity came up for me to to investigate drug and alcohol use.

  • But I came from a little town in northern Alberta, was a heavy drinking town, and and that could have been a real trap for me, you know, And and so anyway, so we have these people say Okay, now you know your weaknesses, And you know what particular hell you would descend to if you allowed yourself to descend into it because you probably have a taste of it.

  • It's like you really let that go.

  • And you're in a terrible place in 3 to 5 years because you haven't done what you should do.

  • What does that look like?

  • It's like, write it down.

  • So, you know, because one of the things you want to have behind you let's say I do something difficult like will confront your boss.

  • It's like, Well, maybe hope isn't enough to encourage you to do that.

  • You think we'll know if I don't encourage?

  • If I don't go confront my boss carefully and intelligently, then I'm gonna hate my job, and then I'm gonna drink or not.

  • I'm gonna end up in that little help place that I designed for myself.

  • It's like, Oh, I'm not going there.

  • I don't want to talk to my boss or I don't want to confront my way for my husband, whatever it is or my father for my Children, for that matter.

  • But if I don't, then I'll resent myself or you end up going down this terrible pathway.

  • It's like because sometimes when you're moving forward, you have to do something difficult.

  • You might think, Well, why bother?

  • And answer is well, so I don't end up in hell.

  • Yeah.

  • How about that?

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • There's that because it's so deep if you don't, uh, experience the pain now or the difficulty now, you're gonna have a deeper pain later.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • That's like lodge deeper pain.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • And that's why I think that you mentioned at one point is like putting ourselves in structured pain like, structured sense of feeling pain throughout the day will be the tough conversation I don't want to do.

  • That is painful, but I'm going to because I know afterwards it's gonna probably feel better.

  • It's a bit of a sacrifice, right?

  • So you sacrificed stability in the present for a gain in the future.

  • That's the big discovery of human beings.

  • Were you sacrifice work?

  • Were you a big athlete growing up?

  • No.

  • No, but I know what I was a lot of small kid I skipped the great, although I skied and I went cross country skiing and its individual sports Thanks mostly with my dad.

  • You understand that in order to improve as an athlete or in any sport, you have to put yourself through Dealey.

  • Yeah, right.

  • If you want to achieve that model of excellence that you watch someone playing basketball as a child and you see someone living this model, it's gonna be 15 years of deliberate pain.

  • Yeah, that's a discipline that.

  • Yeah, well, I worked out for a long time with weights, so, you know.

  • Yeah, I felt it every day.

  • I didn't want to push through pain, but you knew that would get you a greater results.

  • Well, and it's easier not to do it than to do it, but not in the long run.

  • You know, I really seen the benefits, for example, for weightlifting, because I've watched because I'm 58 50.

  • Hold on 56th.

  • Great.

  • No, I'm soon as I'm getting older.

  • And I really noticed the difference between people and when they age between people who laid down a good physiological platform when they were young and those who didn't because by that if you haven't worked out weights, particularly, I didn't say You start to get pretty soft in your thirties and your cardiovascular system starts to go and really early.

  • The all other thing, too, is the best thing you can do To maintain cognitive ability isn't to do exercises like luminosity.

  • It's not brain exercises that keep you sharp.

  • It's exercise.

  • So if you're 50 both cardiovascular have weight lifting.

  • If you're 50 you can restore your cognitive function to the level of a 30 year old through exercise your mental function through physical.

  • Yeah, well, your brain is a very demanding organ, and if your cardiovascular system is compromised, then you get stupid.

  • And so, yeah, it's really because as you move in the big get more stupid you become, Yeah, well, you compromise.

  • You compromise its function because the brain isn't it.

  • It's the organ that uses more.

  • It's very metabolically demanding.

  • And so if you're not in good physical shape, then one of the things that suffers most greatly is your cognitive function.

  • And so that's quite an interesting thing to see how tight that linkage is.

  • So in the next part of the program, we have people now.

  • Its okay, Now you got your vision.

  • Even if it's a bad one.

  • That's right.

  • What's better than no vision at all, right?

  • It's something you could improve well.

  • Think you're trying to get through a territory you don't understand.

  • And here's your option.

  • No map a map that's not so good but has some things about it or a great map.

  • Well, obviously, the great map is the thing you want.

  • But the map that something is way better than the map.

  • That's nothing.

  • Plus, as you explore because of your map, you could start to fill in the details and you start to learn.

  • You start to overcome stuff to master skills.

  • Journey, right?

  • Yeah, well, that's the other thing, too, is like, Let's say you you aim at something in you and you develop some skills along the way, and then you get like, 1/3 of the way there and you think, Oh, that's not for me.

  • It's like, Well, yeah, fair enough.

  • But now you've still got the skills you developed.

  • You know exactly why it's not for you Now.

  • Instead of vague enough to keep going after that, exactly exactly When you have a rationale, and then you could bring that wisdom back.

  • Even though it's not perfect, You could bring it back to your next plan.

  • And so I take responsibility for the next.

  • Yes, yes.

  • And so, as you plan, you get better at planning, which is the crucial thing.

  • So so then we say to people, Take your paws division and make it into eight Stay doble goals, right So and then raped them in a hierarchy because you need to know what the top goal and then an incremental gold and that, Well, that's the other thing is break the goals into incremental goals so that you have a reasonable probability of succeeding because what you want to do this is also what you want to do with the kid.

  • You don't tell your kid.

  • Here is an impossible thing.

  • Why don't you go out and fail?

  • You say, Here's something worth going after.

  • Here's a step you could take that would push you beyond where you are, but that you also have a reasonably high probability of succeeding at it.

  • They called that within the timeframe within some time frame.

  • That's the other thing.

  • You have to parameter rise it with regards to timeframe.

  • That's right, and that puts you in the zone of proximal development.

  • And that's a That's a concept that was generated by a guy named Vic Got Ski.

  • He was a Russian developmental psychologist, and the smart one is where the idea of the zone comes from being the zone.

  • And when you're in the zone, you're expanding your skills in a manner that's intrinsically rewarding because you're succeeding.

  • And so you want to set.

  • If you're good to yourself, you think, Okay, I need to set a goal, but I need to set a goal that someone is stupid and useless as me could probably attain if they put some effort into it.

  • And then you got, then you've got it perfectly because it's not so high that it's grandiose are impossible that you fail necessarily and then justify your bitterness.

  • It's like, Well, I couldn't do well because that happens to Pete happens all the time.

  • Yeah, it's like this all the time, you know, it's like it's yes, exactly.

  • Well, I set a goal and I didn't intend it, so I'm not going to set any more gold right It's like, No, you set a goal that was inappropriate for the timeframe.

  • That's right.

  • You didn't calibrated properly, and and you're playing a trick on yourself because you wanted to fail so that you could justify not having to try.

  • I'm being a victim which isn't in helpful.

  • You're still gonna be victim.

  • It's like there's still a way out of that man.

  • So, you know, because life is this life is a challenge that in some sense can be surmounted, so there's no way out of your problem.

  • But there is certainly proper ways of dealing with it.

  • And so you lay off those eight steps.

  • Yeah, lay them out, and then the next thing is okay, You need a rationale for them because you're gonna have doubts.

  • Another gonna people are gonna put up obstacles that mean it means is that Mimi rational means Yeah, justification.

  • It's like, OK, so what sort of justification is a good justification for your goals?

  • It's easy.

  • Why would it be good for you?

  • Okay.

  • Why would it be good for your family if you attain that goal?

  • Why would it be good for the broader community?

  • Because if it's a good goal.

  • It should be good for you.

  • That's fine.

  • But if it's a really good goal, it should be good for you in a way that's good for other people.

  • And when we're yes, exactly, and you And if you're gonna decide what your goals are, why not set up the ones that benefit the largest number of people simultaneously?

  • Yes, If you could do that, you should start with your own concerns, because you have to take care of yourself in these first.

  • Yes, put your own oxygen mask on, then put your child's oxygen right, and then you can as you as you build up a the basis of competence.

  • Locally, you might develop enough skills so that you could expand that outward, and it also gives your goal a certain amount of nobility.

  • And so if someone challenges you and says, What are you doing?

  • That that seems stupid?

  • You could say I'm doing that because it helps me take care of myself.

  • But it benefits my family.

  • And here's the reasons why, and this is the repercussions out into the broader community.

  • And, like people aren't people who are putting up objections and doubts aren't aren't armed to deal with that kind of response.

  • And then when you have those doubts in your mind that plague you, which they go back to your reason, go back to your reasons.

  • Your wife.

  • That's right.

  • So why why am I doing this?

  • So yeah, it's because, well, I have to take care of myself because otherwise I'm pathetic and useless and bitter and cruel and and then I'm going somewhere terrible.

  • So that's about idea.

  • Here's how it would help my family and here's how it would help the community.

  • And that's good enough.

  • Scent of reasons for unless I can think of better ones without better ones, that's good enough because I think the question comes back Thio after you know, someone could go down the rabbit hole and say, Why?

  • Why am I doing this?

  • And why is this you know, meaningful for me?

  • And I think a lot of people go back to Why am I here in the first?

  • Yes, Why am I here?

  • What is the meaning of my life?

  • And is this really all?

  • Or is this just some dream world?

  • Well, and then and then people do go back to that.

  • And then they get stuck on that.

  • Yeah.

  • What?

  • None of this even matters.

  • Because why am I having here?

  • Well, the thing is, is that that's a self defeating set of propositions, in some sense, because of the consequence of being stuck there.

  • No reason you stopped there to begin with is because you're not very happy about the fact that life is intrinsically tied up with suffering because you would be asking that question to begin with.

  • Okay, So if you let that pull you in and take you down, all it does is make suffering works.

  • That's not helpful.

  • And then and then the cascade that we talked about happens.

  • You suffer stupidly and pointless.

  • You get better, give cruel, you make everything works.

  • It's like, That's your answer, is it?

  • You're gonna make everything worse.

  • It's bad enough you're gonna make it worse.

  • Mostly, people won't do that consciously.

  • Yes, So you think, Well, what's the alternative?

  • Well, here's one.

  • If you have a sufficiently noble purpose, the suffering will justify itself.

  • And I think I think that's empirically testable.

  • And I do believe it's the case because I've watched people do very difficult things like people who work in palliative care awards.

  • So all they're ever dealing with his pain and death, right?

  • And they can do it, get up in the morning, they go to work and they take care of those people.

  • They lose people on a weekly basis, and yet they can do it.

  • And what that shows is that if you turn around and you confront the suffering voluntarily, you find out that you are way tougher than you think.

  • It's not that life is better than you think.

  • Life is as harsh as you think.

  • It might even be worse, but you are way tougher than you think, if you turn around and confront it.

  • And so then what you discover is that there's a spirit within you that pursues that can pursue something meaningful that has the resilience and the strength to contend properly with the catastrophe of existence without becoming bitter.

  • That's actually the central so and then I would say that's one of the central themes of 12 rules for life.

  • Is that make no mistake about it.

  • Like the first noble truth of Buddhism, life is suffering.

  • This is true, and it's worse than that because it's suffering, contaminated by malevolence.

  • That's the baseline, but and so that's very pessimistic.

  • But the optimistic part is that you are so damn tough you can actually notably deal with that.

  • You can improve.

  • It was like, Oh, well, that's a horrible situation But it turns out that I'm armed for the task.

  • Well, that's that's a great thing for people to know.

  • And I do believe.

  • I think the fact that we're armed for the task is even more true than the fact that life is a catastrophe contaminated by malevolence were stronger than things are terrible.

  • So and things are pretty terrible, so that means we're pretty damn strong.

  • Wow, yes, it's a very good thing to know, and it's not naive optimism.

  • It's a very different thing.

  • It's like, no, things are terrible, they're brutal and you are so damn tough.

  • You can't believe it.

  • So, wow, what what's been the biggest challenge in your life that you had overcome the biggest suffering that took me the longest to get beyond to improve, having them bring you down is not helping the person who has the problem.

  • It's the same with my daughter's like have my wife and I deteriorated as a consequence of her condition, eh?

  • That would be horrible for her.

  • Because then she would have had to bear the weight of watching her illness destroyed her family.

  • Great.

  • Which have that guilt?

  • Oh, Christ, Yes.

  • I mean, that's one of the terrible things about having a a very bad illnesses that not only does it do you in, but you can see it taking its toll on the people around you.

  • I think that might even be worse.

  • Welcome, everyone.

  • Back to school.

  • Greenest podcast.

  • We've got the legendary Jordan Peterson in the house.

  • Good to see you, sir.

  • Could see and very excited about this.

  • You've got a book out called 12 Rules for Life makes you guys check this out.

  • You probably already got it.

  • But if you don't, I'm telling you, go pick it up right now.

  • An antidote to chaos.

  • What's been the biggest challenge in your life that you've had to overcome?

  • The biggest suffering that took me the longest to get beyond to improve.

  • Oh, I think that was probably.

  • And I wrote about this in the last chapter of my book, which is called Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street and it's about it's about dealing with, you know, you think, What's the worst thing that can happen to you?

  • Well, I think the worst thing is that you do something really horrible and you screw up your life and everyone's life around you.

  • That's just live with it.

  • Yes, yes, you have to live with knowing you did it.

  • It's like That's rough, man that see it's worse than dying.

  • Yes, is that you don't remember, right?

  • Remember, there are worse things than dying.

  • Yes.

  • No, no, no, that's That's a bad thing, man.

  • But But I think the hardest existential situation that I've been in is the situation with my daughter because she was very, very ill and she had rheumatoid arthritis.

  • She had arthritis.

  • It wasn't rheumatoid type, and she had 40 affected joints.

  • Now that started to bother her when she was two, but really manifested itself fully when she was six and some of the medical treatment help.

  • But when she was 15 14 14 through 16 first her hip disintegrated and then her, and so she had that replaced after walking around on it for like a good year.

  • And then her ankle disintegrated on her other foot and she had to have it replaced.

  • And so there were two years of absolute

If you don't have a goal, you suffer.

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苦悩の解毒剤としての真実(ルイス・ハウズとの共著 (Truth as the Antidote to Suffering (with Lewis Howes))

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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