super amazing this weekend.

Some of the most fun I've ever had.

This was honestly, maybe one of my favorite moments in life,

that I will, I will cherish until I die.

So, at the end of the awards,

so Jay-Z was the recipient of the President's Award

for all the work that he's done

with criminal justice reform.

Right, he's done an amazing job fighting

to reform mass incarceration in America.

And Beyonce is up for the final award of the night,

which is Entertainer of the Year,

so she might go up and then receive her award,

and so like there's gonna be a whole thing,

like when she goes, is she gonna leave?

Is Jay-Z gonna stay?

So she wins, right she's Beyonce, she wins.

So she goes up, and she receives her award,

and then she leaves backstage,

but Jay-Z's sitting in the front row,

and his security, I guess,

didn't realize that the show was gonna end

as abruptly as it did, right.

And so like his bodyguards are standing

at the edge of the theater where we're at,

and we're in the middle of the theater.

The Anthony Anderson comes out and he's like,

"All right, good night everybody,

"that's the show, good bye," and that was it.

So everyone just stands up, and everyone was like,

they just bum rush the stage,

and then everybody just rushes to Jay-Z 'cause they're like,

"It's Jay-Z!" (audience laughs)

Everybody rushes towards him.

Now, I'm trying to get out because if you've ever left any,

you know when you leave an event,

there's gonna be chaos, there's gonna be,

doesn't matter, celebrity or not, traffic is traffic.

All right?

So I'm like, I wanna leave.

So I see Jay-Z and now Jay-Z is getting mobbed

and so like, he wants to push his way out

and the bodyguard wants to push their way

but like you're jammed cause everyone's leaving that way.

And Jay-Z can't push the people cause he's Jay-Z.

Right, you can't push people

when you have a billion dollars.

Everything is a lawsuit waiting to happen, you can't.

So he just has to keep his arms by his side.

So I run up to him and then I'm like, "Jay!"

And he turns and his eyes light,

he's like, "Oh, Trevor, what's up?"

And I was like, oh, he remembers me, thank god.

(audience laughs)

'Cause it's not like we're friends, I just know him.

So I'm like, "Oh, yes, it's me."

And I was like, "Are you okay?", he's like, "My bodyguard",

and then I was like, all right, "Just walk."

And he's like, "What?", I'm like, "Just walk."

And I don't even know why, I grabbed the back of his jacket

and I push him through the crowd

and I put my head down behind him.

And people are trying to come and I just started going

"We gotta move, people, we gotta move, people.

"We gotta move, people, yo, Jay, keep it movin',

"we gotta keep movin', sorry about it.

"no selfies, we gotta keep movin', y'all."

And people are like, "Jay-Z, can I get a selfie?"

I'm like, "No, move, no selfies, people!

"Everybody, we gotta keep movin, sorry, Jay,

"we gotta keep movin', Jay, we gotta keep."

And I literally push him through the crowd

and we like barrel through and then we get to the other side

and the bodyguards are there

and then they start like clearing the sides

and then I'm like clearing the back,

people are trying to come from the back and I'm like,

"No, we gotta keep movin', no selfies!"

And no one sees it's me

'cause why would you think that I'm pushing Jay-Z.

So no one is like, "Is that Trevor Noah behind Jay?"

No, so I'm just like there behind him,

"We gotta move, Jay-Z, we gotta move!

"Sorry, ma'am, no selfies, we gotta move, we gotta move,

"gotta get him outta here."

'Cause the guys gonna get mobbed so he's pushing

and then the security guard, the most amazing thing,

they're walking together, and I guess there were two,

one was supposed to be ahead of him

and one was supposed to be behind him

but there's a moment where they look at each other like,

wait, if you're here...

(audience laughs and applauds)

And so then like the one, there's a panic and the one turns

and then he sees that I'm like pushing Jay-Z

and this guy just, he came over, he was going to break me.

(audience laughs)

It was like slow motion, he like turned

and he comes as I'm like, "Jay-Z, I'm sorry!"

And he comes and as he grabs Jay-Z's like,

"No man, he's doin' a great job, man, let's go."

And the bodyguard goes and then like I just carried on

rolling with Jay-Z just like pushing him,

walking ahead of him like, "no, no, no, no pictures, no!"

And I was just like, I was like Jay-Z's security

the whole way through and then we went into a secret exit

where they leave out of, like,

I feel like they built a basement for them.

'Cause that's not how I came in, we came in on the street.

And then I was like, "Where are we?"

And we just keep moving, just keep moving

and then he jumped in the car and then he turns like,

"That was amazing, baby,

we gotta do it again sometime, baby, that was amazing."

(audience laughs) Then I was like, "Yes!"

I'm Jay-Z's security.

(audience cheers and applauds) I made it!

Oprah has to leave.

(audience groans)

Yes, she was going anyway, don't be greedy!

But, but, but, but, but, I mean,

this is like just a moment where we get to hang out,

I know you're dying, so we'll do this, two questions,

I'll take one from this side of the audience

and one from that side,

something you've always wanted to ask her,

don't ask her what her favorite color is,

think for a moment.

I'll ask her one question first

just so you can think for a little bit,

just one from this side, one from that side.

- This is the behind the scenes thing you do, right.

- Oh, this is Between the Scenes, yeah, we'll just hang out.

It's funny, I didn't know you talk to your audience.

- Yes. - Yes, this is me,

I just hang out with the real people.

- Isn't that cool? - I love it,

are you kidding me?

I wanted to know one thing, you are Oprah Winfrey,

you have been very wealthy for a long time,

you worked hard to get there, I often wonder

how much normalcy there still is in your life?

Like, how many normal random things happen to you.

Like, when was the last time

your phone ran out of battery while you were speaking?

Has that ever happened to you?

- No. - Okay.

(audience laughs)

So for instance, have there ever been a moment where

you're in the bathroom and then the toilet roll is done, no?

- Oh, no.

- What is the most?

- No, you know why?

Because at my house, I don't know

if this happens at your house,

but at my house when the toilet roll is checked regularly

and when it's been checked,

like after you're going to the bathroom,

somebody will come in and it's folded

into a little triangle. - They fold a little triangle?

- Yes. - Like you live in a hotel?

- It's like folding into a triangle every time.

- Okay, okay, we'll take one from each side.

- I will tell you though, some things very normal

that you wouldn't think. - Okay, let's go.

- I travel with my own bread and I bring my own avocados.

- Are you serious? - Yes I do.

So I have an avocado orchard so I think it's--

- Oh, the story got not normal, Oprah!

You just said, "I'm gonna tell you something normal",

then you said, "I have my own avocado orchard."

(audience laughs)

- But, so I think it's ridiculous to pay for avocados.

- Which is why you bought your own orchard?

Are you kidding me?

That is not a normal story.

I made my own avocados because they're too expensive.

(audience laughs)

This Mueller Report thing

is one of the most entertaining scandals

that's happening right now

and I'll tell you why, for me personally.

Because I can understand

where Trump and his supporters are coming from.

Trump and his people are saying, "If there was no collusion

"how can there be obstruction of justice?", right,

but what they don't seem to understand is

America does make provisions for that in the law,

you can obstruct justice for a crime

that was never committed,

which is a very weird thing in my opinion, I won't lie,

I do think it's weird.

'Cause Trump is like, "I never did the thing."

Then it's like, yes, but you still

might've obstructed justice.

He's like, "How can I obstruct justice

"for a thing that never happened?"

They're like, "You still obstructed justice,

"that's how it works."

Like, basically it's like you lied about eating the cookies,

wait, let me think, 'cause it's such a weird thing.

(audience laughs)

You know what it's like, you know what it's like?

It's like your mother accuses you of eating the cookies

but then you block her from going to the kitchen

to prove that the cookies have been eaten.

And then even if there were no cookies eaten

she's gonna beat your ass for blocking her.

(audience laughs and applauds)

That's essentially what it is.

Your mother's like, "I don't care."

You're like, "But there were no cookies!"

She's like, "I don't care, whey were you blocking me?"

You're like, "'Cause I didn't eat the cookies!"

She's like, "I don't care, you blocked me,

"you stood in my way, young man."

And that's what's happening to Trump.

And the reason I'm so entertained by it

is because I feel like 2019 is the year

when powerful white people

are learning about the justice system

in a way that black people in America

have known about for a very long time.

(audience laughs)

No, 'cause everyone, 'cause like you look at the parents

involved in like the college admission scandal

and they're like, 40 years in jail, this is ridiculous!

And black people are like, uh-huh.

(audience laughs)

Tell us how excessive

your criminal justice system is, mm-hmm.

And then Trump is like, "How can I go to jail

"for blocking an investigation

"to something that never happened?"

And black people are like, "oh yeah,

"you mean like getting arrested for resisting arrest?"

Which by the way, is another thing

that can happen to you in America,

you can literally get arrested for resisting arrest.

That happened, there was a young black man in Florida,

this went viral awhile ago,

he was arrested and they were like, why did you arrest him?

And they're like, he's arrested for resisting arrest.