Yeah.

Coulson.

Hi.

Gathered here today to take a lie detector test.

To be way, man, I was like, Cool.

One of you will be hooked up to the machine while the other one interviews and then we'll switch call.

So who wants to be in the hot seat first?

You first questions.

Do I like you?

Of course.

Yeah.

There's a lot of weird ones that I know you and you know me.

Okay.

Okay.

Is your name Coulson Baker?

Yes.

Do you go by the name machines on Kelly?

Yes.

Are you nervous?

Yes.

Are you worried that you might incriminate yourself during this interview?

Absolutely.

Is there?

Uh, is there anything you would want to admit before we begin?

Oh, no.

Cool.

Do you think I could be a good rapper?

Oh, my God.

No, that's true.

I don't think so either.

Uh, if you give me a beat right now, do you think I could freeze?

Yes, Absolutely.

Yeah.

Do you, uh are you?

Ah, you a better rapper than actor?

Yes.

Do you think I'm a better stand up comedian than I am an actor?

All right.

Not to be waiting, but I think You're great at both.

Thank you so much.

It's true that.

Did you get it?

Get it Get Could you say that one's truly I don't feel It's kind of He's telling the truth.

Uh, they try to tear his apartment, trying to tear us apart.

You're gonna break us up.

Uh, have you ever fake laughed in any of my jokes?

No, I know that's true.

Is this man funny of the maid?

Who is that?

There's Larry, the cable guy.

He has a catchphrase.

It should be a noble just off, you know.

Yeah.

Uh, do you watch SNL?

Every week I'll watch Pete Sparks investment.

And by the funniest cast member, That's a lie.

I So do you think it's Kiki and tops in his partner that because actually, the next question No, it it's okay.

Let's get it right.

Do they keep the tops?

And it's funny.

No way.

All think that is funnier than yeah.

Alright.

Cannons firing.

That's cool.

I'm cool with that.

Do you know what?

The term beady evening.

That's a good question yet, man, I should have previewed these.

Do I have BDO God, I evidently created the shit.

Do you think I have more beady than this guy.

No, no, that's rocks.

Yeah.

Dude to cool.

Hell, no.

I agree with that.

What about this woman?

Does she have more beat either, mate?

Hell, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fair.

You gotta show people that are like that could be going the other way.

These air, like obvious knows, you know?

Have you ever lied to me?

No.

No, I'm not gonna ask.

What about what?

Uh, do you smoke weed?

That's a dumb question.

What would be just doing?

Yeah.

Do you think you smoke more weed than May?

That's even.

Have we ever done anything together that might be considered illegal?

Absolutely.

Have you ever seen me naked?

No.

No, that's true.

But you know E because everybody's been asking me.

You guys are very close.

Uh, have ever appeared in one of your dreams.

She's Christ God, no, But that's awesome.

I'm so glad you're here.

You're so weird.

Do you ever think you could live with me?

Yeah.

You are playing time mainly in the Motley Crue biopic, right?

Yes, I did.

You prepare for this role?

Yes, I did.

Did you have other names before machine gun Kelly.

Yes, I did.

Did you ever think about Super Soaker Kelly?

No, but I saw a sign of Home Depot that's next to a glue gun.

And it said Stanley Glue gun.

Kelly.

As for the thing next, you know there's another one.

Whoever wrote this is pretty clever.

What about call sitting 45 like Colt 45 Gas.

You're in bird box on Netflix, right?

I'm in there for five seconds.

Do you think that you'd outlive me in a post apocalyptic world?

For some reason?

I don't know.

No, I don't think I would.

Man, I think you're oddly.

You do.

You know what some people like?

Win the game and you're like, Come on, man.

You know how you always do it.

Yeah, that's true.

Right?

So your dad, right?

Writers like to say he is a great father.

Thank you.

That's one.

He's a great dad.

Great, great.

Dad, meet my daughter and Pete actually took a road trip.

Yeah, and we spent Christmas together.

It was beautiful.

They don't write about that shit.

Yeah, actually thought about this news.

Yeah.

You do a press conference with Al Gore that day.

Nobody gives up I want Balenciaga had every went nuts.

Makes no sense this world.

All right.

Uh, do you think I make a good dad?

Yeah.

Hell, you don't even need to check that.

Will you ever let me baby sit your daughter?

Absolutely.

Will you be wrapping a great job?

You did a great job on the road trip.

Yeah.

You got ice cream and we crushed It went to the way we killed it.

Will you be rapping at 73?

Probably like us.

Yeah, I'm arrested.

Yeah.

Yeah.

About that.

Yeah.

You know, that's not Yeah.

So yeah, we're gonna still rap for like, uh, yeah.

Wrapped like it's in my blood, you know?

Unable.

Like way.

Don't want to be like some guys.

Just like I just overstaying our welcome I'm doing.

I'm done doing today morning at 55.

I'm done.

Yeah, no more.

Stand up after that.

At any point during this interview, did you lie?

We didn't catch it.

I kept it.

100.

That's the truth.

That's true.

Please tell me I get to do this.

They don't care about you and me.

Another two in here next week is your men.

Pete Davidson.

Yes, with Peter, but yes, kid of the chicken nugget spot the other day.

Yeah.

What do you say?

Okay, I know you're famous.

Uh, no, no, not you are.

You're the nerd that was on TV.

Yeah, like that.

I'm just taking l's left.

The right.

God, Are you ready to do this?

Relax, tiger.

Yeah.

You feeling there?

Is it all?

No question, man, is just a picture of you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Join your hand.

Yes.

Good night.

Now, is this a picture of you?

I know that you and McGregor and Trains body.

Do people ever mistake you for someone else?

Yes, all the time.

They do?

Yeah, I get Steve.

Oh, uh, Jon Cryer and Cries Ball.

Yeah, it's still And that kid from shameless, that Ethan house Godowsky the kid that can't get it together.

Yeah.

Is this man your best friend?

Yes, but you're also my best friend.

I could have two best friends.

That's 100.

That's what it is he's likes.

Like slim.

Like I'll send your best friend.

You mean Slims?

Not your best.

Know what that's like?

Do you trust him with your life, Lainey?

Yes, 100.

Why is that because he's proven to be trustworthy.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you, uh do you think that we'll be friends forever?

Absolutely.

100% through?

That's true.

Is it true you got dinner with Kanye?

Yes, kid.

Cutie.

Yes.

Yeah.

What'd you eat?

A bunch of rich people stuff that.

I don't know.

What the name of why wasn't I invited?

I don't know.

Because he was like with you an hour before you went.

Because there's three people invited.

Who paid?

I did.

Sure did.

That's 100.

Yeah, that's right.

Who ordered the most expensive dish kind.

Keep the order in the whole entire time.

And I didn't know he was coming.

And I already put my car down to pay because I thought it was just me and Cuddy And then, like, shallow me showed up and then kind of showed up like, Oh, and I haven't had a book to more gigs in Ohio.

This question is for myself, Is he a desert guy?

What kind of food?

He's order the everything because I can.

And then we all have one bite.

Maybe if it was you, you know, a guy Would you say that this man is better looking than me?

No, not even close.

You have a favorite song of mine.

I have many favorite song changes all time, but currently it is one that is unreleased.

That is called rolling.

Could you wrap some of it for me?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I'm gonna go down like a good deal.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like again.

Fax Released.

Released.

Have you ever pretended to like one of my songs first?

No.

But there are songs that have grown on me.

That's 100.

That's 100.

Yeah.

Do you think Do you think I could successfully try Stand up?

Yeah, Absolutely.

Then that's really frustrating.

I think he could.

You can get pretty good at it really quickly.