>> Ken: HELLO!

THANK YOU!

OH, MY GOD!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

WELCOME TO "THE LATE LATE SHOW" WITH ME, KEN JEONG.

THANK YOU!

YOU MAY KNOW ME AS "THAT GUY" FROM "THAT THING" WHICH YOU

PROBABLY THOUGHT WAS "OKAY."

( LAUGHTER ) I'M FILLING IN FOR JAMES CORDEN,

WHILE HE'S TAKING TIME OFF TO WORK ON ANOTHER PROJECT.

(WHISPERING) "BOTOX, NOSE JOB, LIP

INJECTIONS."

( LAUGHTER ) BUT WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY.

I'M SO GRATEFUL TO THE NINE CELEBRITIES WHO SAID NO BEFORE

JAMES ASKED ME.

( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S A FUN FACT, YOU MAY OR

MAY NOT KNOW THIS.

BEFORE I WENT INTO COMEDY, I WAS AN ACTUAL MEDICAL DOCTOR.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES!

THANK YOU.

HEAL THYSELF.

( LAUGHTER ) I WAS AN INTERNAL MEDICINE

PHYSICIAN AT KAISER PERMANENTE AND PRACTICED FOR SEVEN YEARS

BEFORE I SAID, ( BLEEP ) THAT, I'LL

BE NAKED AND FAMOUS IN A MOVIE."

AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES AMERICA GREAT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY LAUGHTER IS

THE BEST MEDICINE.

UH-UH, KLONOPIN IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

( LAUGHTER ) IT GIVES YOU A SCHOLAR'S BUZZ.

( RIM SHOT ) ( LAUGHTER )

>> Ken: THANK YOU.

FOR ME, HOSTING A LATE-NIGHT SHOW, EVEN FOR ONE NIGHT, IS A

DREAM COME TRUE.

IT'S SO EXCITING KNOWING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL BE

TUNING IN AT 11:30 TO SEE ME-- WHAT?

WHEN DOES THIS AIR?

12:30?

(SIGHS) HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WILL BE

TUNING IN TO SEE ME.

( RIM SHOT ) SPEAKING OF EXCITING, TOMORROW

IS A VERY HISTORIC DAY.

THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES WILL BE VOTING ON THE

IMPEACHMENT OF DONALD TRUMP.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YEAH.

I GOTTA SAY, IT IS PRETTY BALLSY OF THE HOUSE TO HOLD THEIR

IMPEACHMENT VOTE THE SAME DAY AS THE SECOND SEASON FINALE OF "THE

MASKED SINGER."

PICKED UP FOR A THIRD.

AM I RIGHT?

( RIM SHOT ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

DO IT AGAIN.

( RIM SHOT ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE

HUMAN RIM SHOT!

( CHEERING ) AND WE'LL CUT THAT.

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, IT IS A ROUGH TIME FOR

TRUMP, ALTHOUGH MAYBE HE'LL SEE THIS

SHOW TONIGHT AND FEEL CHEERED UP THAT I'M FILLING IN FOR JAMES

CORDEN.

YOU KNOW, AN AMERICAN TAKING A JOB BACK FROM AN IMMIGRANT.

YAY!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )

IN OTHER NEWS, THIS WAS AN INTERESTING NEW STUDY.

SO-CALLED "ME-TIME" IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR A HEALTHY

RELATIONSHIP THAN DATE NIGHTS.

"ME TIME."

OR AS MR. CHOW CALLS IT, "HEHEHEHE."

( LAUGHTER ) COME ON, GUYS.

( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, GUYS.

WHAT?

THAT'S NOT DIRTY, I WAS ROLLING DICE FROM MY STOMACH.

GROW UP!

"ME-TIME."

I LIKE THAT TERM.

IT'S MUCH BETTER THAN THE ONE I'VE BEEN USING AROUND THE

HOUSE, "O-FACE O-CLOCK."

THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL ACTING RANGE.

( RIM SHOT ) ( LAUGHTER )

AND, FINALLY, CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE, AND IT LOOKS LIKE

SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY STARTED CELEBRATING.

POLICE AT THE NASHVILLE AIRPORT DISCOVERED THAT A MAN CARRYING

SUITCASES FILLED WITH WRAPPED CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WAS ACTUALLY

SMUGGLING 84 POUNDS OF MARIJUANA.

( LAUGHTER ) SORRY, REGGIE AND THE BAND.

CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED.

( LAUGHTER ) GUYS, AS A TOKE, I WOULD NOT

ADVISE YOU TO DO THIS.

IT'S DANGEROUS, IT'S ILLEGAL YOU CAN GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.

AND BESIDES, IF YOU WANT THAT MUCH WEED, HOLLER AT YOUR BOY

AND MEET ME IN THE BACK OF MY CAMRY.

( RIM SHOT ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )