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  • (APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU.

  • HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING, GOOD?

  • YES, MY NAME IS RAANAN HERSHBERG, IT IS A NAME THAT

  • STARTS JEW AND JUST KEEPS ON GOING AM I'M A JEW FROM KENTUCKY

  • WHH, YEAH, I DON'T RECOMMEND AT ALL AND I STARTED COMEDY

  • THERE, AND IT WASN'T ALWAYS GREAT, IT WASN'T ALWAYS A PACKED

  • THEATER.

  • A LOT OF TIMES IT SUCKED.

  • IT REALLY DID.

  • ONE OF MY FIRST PAID GIGS THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE, WAS AT A

  • PRISON IN LA GRANG, KENTUCKY.

  • YEAH, I PERFORMED FOR 200 INMATES AND THERE IS NOTHING

  • THAT MAKES YOU FEEL WORSE AS A COMEDIAN THAN TO BE PERFORMING

  • AND WATCHING A COUPLE OF INMATES WALK OUT

  • (LAUGHTER) CUZ YOU KNOW THEY'RE JUST GOING

  • BACK TO THEIR CELL, THIS' IT.

  • THAT IS IT.

  • THERE IS NOT ANOTHER ROOM WITH MIDNIGHT BOWLING.

  • OR A MOVIE.

  • THOSE INMATES HEARD MY JOKES AND THEY'RE LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT, I

  • WOULD RATHER BE ALONE WITH A MIRDERRER RIGHT NOW.

  • (LAUGHTER) I RECENTLY WENT BACK HOME

  • VISITED MY TWIN SISTER.

  • EVERY TIME I TELL PEOPLE I HAVE A TWIN SISTER HALF THE PEOPLE I

  • TELL THAT TO GO OH, YOU GOT A TWIN SISTER.

  • LET ME ASK YOU, IDENTICAL?

  • OR FRATERNAL.

  • A COUPLE LAUGHS OVER HERE.

  • THE REST OF YOU ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ASK THAT QUESTION.

  • (LAUGHTER) AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL

  • YOU, NOW I JUST PLAY ALONG.

  • NOW I'M LIKE IDENTICAL.

  • AND THEY'RE LIKE REALLY, HOW IS THAT.

  • >> I'M LIKE IT'S OKAY FOR ME.

  • (LAUGHTER) YEAH, YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • (APPLAUSE) >> IT'S NOT GREAT FOR HER.

  • KZ SHE'S A GIRL BUT SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ISRAELI JOHN BELUSHI.

  • MY MOM KEEPS CHANGING THE NETFLIX PASSWORD SO I WILL CALL

  • HER, ANYONE ELSE IN THAT SITUATION?

  • MY MOM IS GREAT BUT SHE IS VERY SHRILL AND LOUD AND JEWISH AND

  • IT'S TOO MUCH.

  • IT IS.

  • THE LAST TIME I WAS VITSING HER I COULD HEAR HER YELL FROM

  • OUTSIDE ONE DAY.

  • OH MY GOD!

  • RANAD.

  • COME OUTSIDE.

  • THERE ARE FOUR DEER OUTSIDE!

  • IS FOUR OF THEM!

  • IT'S INCREDIBLE.

  • RAANAN, COME OUTSIDE THERE ARE FOUR DEER!

  • >> AND THEN I CAME OUTSIDE AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE, THEY WERE

  • GONE.

  • YEAH.

  • (APPLAUSE) YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • SOMETHING HAD START ELED THEM.

  • (LAUGHTER) UNS WITH STILL THERE, HE HAD

  • DIED OF A HEART ATTACK.

  • IT WAS-- MY MOM IS GREAT.

  • MY MOM HAS BEEN A THIRD GRADE TEACHER FOR THE LAST 50 YEARS.

  • YEAH.

  • (APPLAUSE) YEAH.

  • AND AS A RESULT, SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO YOU LIKE YOU ARE ALSO

  • EIGHT YEARS OLD.

  • IT IS INGRAINED IN HER.

  • SHE WILL BE LIKE YOUR COUSIN PHIL HAS BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR

  • FOR TWO YEARS, WHICH IS TERRIBLE, BECAUSE HE'S MARRIED.

  • (LAUGHTER) AND WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED, IT'S

  • VERY UPSETTING TO FIND OUT YOUR SPOUSE IS CHEATING ON YOU.

  • IT IS.

  • AND IT CAN MAKE HER FEEL REALLY SAD.

  • YOU HAVE EVER FELT SAD BEFORE?

  • YEAH, I'M FEELING SAD RIGHT NOW.

  • CUZ I'M 35 AND YOU'RE TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M A CHILD.

  • I AM NOT A CHILD.

  • I AM A GROWN ADULT.

  • NOW WHAT IS THE NEW NETFLIX PASSWORD.

  • (APPLAUSE) THANK YOU.

  • WHENEVER I TELL PEOPLE I'M A JEW FROM KENTUCKY THEY ALWAYS ASK

  • THE SAME THING, THEY GO DID YOU GROW UP WITH PRESIDENT, YES,

  • PREJUDICE, YES, I DID, MOSTLY FROM MY GRANDMA BO WAS PRETTY

  • RACIST, AND WHENEVER SAID SOMETHING RACIST MY MOM WOULD DE

  • FEND IT, ALWAYS SAYING THE SAME THING.

  • WELL, HE'S FROM A DIFFERENT TIME.

  • HE'S FROM A DIFFERENT TIME.

  • AND I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH, BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS HE

  • IS NOT.

  • (LAUGHTER) YEAH.

  • HE'S FROM RIGHT NOW.

  • HE WAS FROM A DIFFERENT TIME AND THEN TIME MOVED FORWARD, AND

  • HE'S STILL IN TIME.

  • (APPLAUSE) HE'S STILL IN IT.

  • YEAH.

  • THAT IS HOW TIME WORKS.

  • IF YOU ARE ALIVE RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE IN IT.

  • OLD PEOPLE ONLY HAVE TROUBLE ADJUSTING TO PREJUDICE, THEY

  • DON'T HAVE TROUBLE ADJUSTING TO OTHER CHANGES AND STAY LITTLE

  • HINT CRITICAL.

  • AN OLD PERSON WILL BE LIKE I DONE THINK BLACK AND WHITE

  • PEOPLE SHOULD DATE OR TBAI PEOPLE SHOULD GET MARRIED

  • BECAUSE THAT IS NOT HOW I WAS RAISED.

  • THAT'S NOT HOW I WAS RAISED.

  • AND THAT'S FINE.

  • YOU CAN SAY THAT.

  • BUT THEN I DON'T EVER SEE YOU RIDING AN ESCALATOR.

  • (LAUGHTER) YEAH, YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • CUZ YOU WERE YOU WEREN'T RAISED WITH THAT EITHER.

  • EVERY TIME YOU SEE AN ESCALATOR, YOU SHOULD BE LIKE WHO PUT THIS

  • ROLLER COASTER IN THE MALL AND RUN AWAY.

  • THANK YOU, THAT IS MY TIME.

  • I'M RAANAN HERSHBERG.

  • >> James: THAT WAS SO GOOD, LADIES AND GENERAL, RAANAN

  • HERSCHBERG, COME ON BACK, EVERYTHING.

  • >> THAT WAS GREAT.

(APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU.

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A2 初級

ラナン・ハーシュバーグ スタンドアップ (Raanan Hershberg Stand-Up)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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