Morning tea.

Have you been this week?

My lovely lemon of a lady?

Oh, I've just been wonderful.

I actually have a very before we introduce our guest.

Very funny story.

Home.

Your story.

Does it include our guests?

It does.

Right?

So picture it back in the day.

We're talking.

Early nineties Texas angsty Roxy in her bedroom door, slamming the bedroom door.

See it right now he picks, right, Because nothing has changed.

He had some things change.

It's all the same.

Fighting solace in my oversized turbo jeans Like love It left Depeche Mode.

He's sexy.

And, of course, the pages of bop team be tiger beats all the classic teenybopper magazines.

Um, and my only escape, you know, thinking My God, Hollywood sense like, so amazing.

So glamorous.

Like, how do I leave Texas and get there, right?

How do you?

Well, sure, you'll tell us.

Well, can I just tell you ahead?

It'll planned out.

I was gonna marry the quarries.

Elissa Milano was going to be my best girlfriends for use, right?

We were going to spend our days cruising the beaches of Malibu and going out to the Hollywood hot spots like the Roxbury bar One which I did do side note, different time.

We'll talk about that, but it didn't exactly turn out that way.

But the 15 year old in me is kind of freaking out today because you manifest it.

Manifested whore.

Hey, ladies, ladies.

I've never heard anything like that.

It was phantasm mazing, uh, your face on someone's, like body before.

Yes, Well, I haven't had many my body.

Yes, yes, yes, Many.

Right.

Well, I've had my face on a few people.

Yeah, your wife's ears.

We have to be.

Oh, you know what?

No, my wife is not that way.

She is very open minded individual, and she doesn't get jealous ever.

Especially stories of the past.

That's just ridiculousness.

You know, I can't believe when people do that where they're like, Oh, my God.

You did this before you met.

May.

I'm never gonna look at you the same.

And you're like what?

Well, like, um, I responsible for things that I did before I knew that you were No, uh, like, uh, chipotle a store.

He's like to remember this beautiful Asian girl used today way was into you.

Should I cook for you and I don't get it right.

Well, there's a difference between telling a story and rubbing it in 50,000 times.

So let's take it back to the beginning because I love your shoes bad as because it says Be on each side with big gold bees, which means, like, badass be bad as B And you.

She's a cool I you dress dress is very nice.

Exactly.

Well, I like the fact that we match.

I mean, it's kind of cool.

Look at that.

It's blue and white balloon way.

Little checkered thing coordination.

You guys were, like, psychically connected kind of little right here.

This is like we actually coordinated.

It was all meant to be.

It was all meant today.

So taking it back a little ways back before the nineties, you started acting at three years old, right?

That's way back, back, right?

Is that right?

Well, it was dark.

I couldn't see anything.

I was trying to find my way around.

So is this, like, always something you wanted to do?

It was a more like of your hair.

And sometimes I want to do do a documentary about terrible things.

No, no, no.

that was no what I always wanted to do.

Uh, no.

You mean be here and I mean, no, I mean starting acting.

Was it more like your parents agenda or wasn't yours?

You definitely my parents agenda.

Okay, but that's it.

I mean, obviously I was a, you know, boisterous little, you know, character driven dude ran around throwing on costumes everywhere and playing in his imaginary world s So I'm sure that they went Hey, meal ticket.

But, you know, my sister's started.

Actually, my sister was famous before I was she was on the new Mickey Mouse Club, which is no longer knew.

It's quite quite old, but it was new at the time.

And that was before Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera hit the Disney scene.

So she was one of the yogis.

No, it's it's all about, you know, training the child to be in that box.

And I mean, you know, you're an actress, so you know how it is that they don't want to work with anybody.

That's not gonna take orders, right?

Like you have to be disciplined.

You have to follow everything to a tee.

And most directors don't even want you thinking for yourself.

I mean, that's the truth of it.

They're gonna give you line readings.

They're gonna tell you exactly what face to make and how to express yourself and how to move.

And what body language they want everything right.

And then there's directors that actually let you open up and play and be you or bring yourself to the character or whatever, But there are those that won't, and especially when you're a child.

So I think a lot of it is just the psychological kind of beat down of leg.

You need to be, you know, disciplined and docile and do what we tell you.

But there's also the factor of this is our meal ticket.

I mean, literally, That was that was it.

So they wanted, just like the Jackson's parents.

You know, it was like we were We were beaten to train, like, literally, like, we're gonna put you in a room, we're gonna give you a script, and you're not coming out of this room until you know that script backwards and forwards.

And when I say backwards and forwards, I literally mean backwards and forwards like I had to be able to read it backwards.

Meeting like, Okay, we're gonna go backwards through the script.

What's your line?

You know, and then we're not gonna tell you the lead line into it, like you've got already.

Know what the line before That's supposed to be.

He loved.

You know, I feel like they love the money.

Do you still feel that way?

Yes, Very much so.

I have no no relationship, no communication with my parents whatsoever.

Just break that as mother Rocks have Children that breaks my heart.

Yeah, I have Children to have a child, but yeah, yeah, I know.

I can't imagine.

I can't imagine somebody thinking their child that way.

It's It's just nauseating, really.

Do you forgive them?

I forgive them in the sense that they they're not well, people, you know, my mother is mentally unstable, and that's something that I came to terms with many, many years ago.

The kinds of things that she did to me, which were violent and tumultuous and torturers that she would enjoy I mean, should actually enjoy it.

She would smile and laugh while she was doing these evil, cruel things to me.

So you have to go.

No sane person would do that to their child and enjoy it.

So you know.

And now she has no memory of it.

And that's the thing.

That's the one of the reasons why I can't communicate with her is because I'm like, What is the point of trying to rationalize with somebody who cannot even accept the fact that they took part in something?

Because that's really where it's at?

Like she doesn't even acknowledge it?

Like I'll be like, Okay, so this happened in this really hurt me.

An interview like that didn't happen.

Really?

What do you mean, it didn't happen?

Obviously have carried it for all these years?

No.

Didn't happen.

Okay, Do you see things at some point, like being able to sort of come back together in some way?

You know, the last straw was when I wrote my book choreography in 2013.

I haven't spoken to her since.

And the reason why is because at that point, I had been like, Okay, I really want to try and find the healing and I want to forgive and I want to move on.

So I really tried to like bring things full circle.

And by doing that I took her out to lunch several times and I said, Here's the deal.

I've got this book coming out.

It's very cathartic.

It's very important.

It's something that I have to do for my soul to free myself.

So if you know you understand that, then hopefully you're gonna be supportive of this.

So I'm gonna give you the manuscript six months out six months before it comes out, So you have time to read it.

So if you have any major issues with it, if there's anything you want to discuss with something you don't agree with, I'm willing to take a look at it.

And we could maybe work on, you know, lessening it or shortening it or whatever.

Maybe take it out altogether.

And so I gave her the book.

I give it to her on a tablet.

She'd never had a tablet before, so I transferred it onto a tablet.

I gave her the whole tablet.

I said gears to keep Just do what you gotta do and she took the tablet, never read book, never read it, and I said, Look, and I met with her again, Like a month before it came out.

I said, I've given you five months.

What do you think of the book?

She says I have nothing.

I said, What do you mean?

Because I didn't read it.

I don't like to be serious and because you and I go All right, look, here's the deal.

When this book comes out, the press is gonna come to you for answers.

They're gonna want to know.

So there's three ways that you can approach This number one is your supportive and you say, You know what?

I may not agree with some of the things in the book.

There may be things that I don't remember.

I don't agree with whatever and hold, but I'm proud of my son.

And I'm you know, glad that he's doing this for him.

And he's you know, I stand with him and I'm gonna support him no matter what.

Because he's my son and I love him.

That's number one.

Number two is you keep your mouth shut and you just don't say anything at all.

If you really don't agree with what I'm doing, you just leave it alone and you just say No, thank you.

No comment.

Whatever I said, then there's the third thing you could do, which is exactly what we don't want.

Which is for you to go out there and debate it and say, Oh, well, I don't believe this or I don't believe that or this isn't sure that's not true.

I said, if you do that, you're gonna make yourself look really bad because everybody knows that I'm a truthful guy and they're going to know that these stories air honest because you can hear the honesty in them.

So, you know, if you come out there and you fight it, you come out swatting, it's gonna make you look bad, and nobody will have empathy for that.

Nobody has empathy for a mother that abuses Children.

And so she says, Okay, I understand.

And then the day the book comes out, she goes and takes interviews with, like all the sleazy press and says that, you know, I'm out of my mind, and it must be the drugs that I did in the past and all of this kind of stuff, the ruin, my brain and my memory, and I'm just going like wow and then, father.

Same thing.

Just opportunist.

So not to say that it's right.

What?

They did it all.

Do you think it was their defense mechanism for not protecting you that made them sort of go this route?

Yeah.

Do they hate themselves for I You know, I wish I could say I thought so, but I don't think so.

I I unfortunately think that they my father, I mean, I lived with him for, you know, several years after I left my mother and he was all opportunistic.

I mean, literally like it was.

It's hard to explain, but like, if I was doing a big event a big concert, a big you know, new TV series, new movie, whatever.

And this is yours.

After he was like, you know, the parental father, like, literally.

Like I was doing my show dweebs in the nineties.

And I'm, you know, in my twenties at that time, early twenties, and he shows up in the set, and I'm like, I haven't seen you in five years.

What are you doing here?

You know?

Oh, well, you know, my son's on a lot, and I think I'm gonna stop by because it was just opportunistic.

Yeah.

How do you deal with the PTSD of everything that you've gone through?