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  • New Hampshire--

  • it's the state always asking Vermont to do something

  • about the weed smell.

  • But, today, they were the state

  • holding the second Democratic primary.

  • And because, normally, the most exciting thing to do

  • in New Hampshire is watch mountains grow,

  • Election Day gets the people going like nothing else.

  • After months of campaigning

  • and millions of dollars in TV ads,

  • it all comes down to this,

  • voters here in New Hampshire already heading to the polls.

  • Overnight in New Hampshire,

  • the first votes were cast in the Granite State.

  • As they've done for decades,

  • the tiny town of Dixville Notch went to the polls at midnight.

  • We were in Exeter, New Hampshire,

  • at the town hall there.

  • It was beyond capacity.

  • People have been coming in here all day.

  • They've been lined up since 5:00 a.m. this morning.

  • They vote for sport here in New Hampshire.

  • -I voted for Warren. -Steyer.

  • Why?

  • He's cute.

  • No, he seems like he can tackle Trump.

  • I voted for Bernie.

  • Um, I voted for Amy Klobuchar.

  • -Tell me why. -Uh, I actually went in

  • -and eeny-meeny-miny-moe'd it. -You're kidding me.

  • -No. Between two candidates. -Literally, in the booth.

  • -In the booth. -Whoa.

  • Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

  • That's not how you should pick your potential future president,

  • although it is how the president picks

  • his spray tan shade for the day.

  • He's like, "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

  • "Ooh, crème brûlée. Sounds fancy.

  • So fancy."

  • So, New Hampshire voters spent the day carefully deciding

  • who they want to be the Democratic nominee.

  • But, of course, none of the votes matter

  • if they aren't counted correctly.

  • (coughs) Iowa. Luckily,

  • according to state officials,

  • they've got this thing under control.

  • New Hampshire Secretary of State Bill Gardner,

  • he told us he slept well last night

  • and today's voting will be simple and secure.

  • Keep it simple.

  • Keep the moving parts the smallest number you can.

  • Could this be hacked in any way?

  • You can't hack a pencil.

  • How many apps do you have involved in this process?

  • Oh, oh, we don't have any apps involved

  • in any of the tabulating or the counting.

  • -No apps. -No apps.

  • It's an app-free election.

  • -You can guarantee that? -Yes.

  • You know, it's funny how, a few years ago,

  • people were like, "Guys, we need to vote with our phones.

  • It's the future." But now, thanks to the disaster in Iowa,

  • it's like, "We're going back

  • "to how our forefathers did this, okay?

  • Everyone gets one rock and we put it in a jar."

  • "Yeah!"

  • "Then our slaves count the rocks."

  • "What?" "Oh, too far back? Too far? Sorry, sorry.

  • Too far back."

  • For more on New Hampshire's big day,

  • we go now to our correspondent who is live

  • in the Granite State right now,

  • Michael Kosta, everybody!

  • (cheering and applause)

  • Michael, you're on the ground in New Hampshire.

  • What is the energy like?

  • Hey, Trevor, I am not gonna lie.

  • Today's been pretty stressful for the Democratic candidates.

  • In fact, Joe Biden was so tense,

  • he gave himself a surprise massage.

  • -You know what I mean? -Well, it makes sense, Kosta,

  • because, thanks to Iowa,

  • there's so much more riding on this primary.

  • Not only that but the candidates have had only one week

  • to completely change their cultural messaging.

  • Because Iowa is mostly white people,

  • but New Hampshire is mostly...

  • white people.

  • Kosta, I don't-- I don't get the difference.

  • It sounds like both states are just a bunch of white people.

  • Wow, Trevor, "just a bunch of white people"?

  • That is so insulting.

  • First off, it's not a bunch.

  • The collective noun for white people

  • is a gluten of white people.

  • And, second, white people are not a monolith.

  • We are a rich tapestry of ethnic diversity.

  • Let-let me show you on my Caucasian color wheel, okay?

  • Now, see, the...

  • the New Hampshire white people fall here

  • in the eggshell section,

  • while the Iowa whites are all the way over here

  • in the oatmeal cream section.

  • Uh, Kosta, that's just basically a blank circle.

  • (stammers) White is not blank, Trevor.

  • Zero is not nothing.

  • "Free to go" is not "innocent of all charges."

  • Although you do-- you do hear that a lot when you're white.

  • I mean, how-how would you feel

  • if I said there was no difference between black people

  • in South Africa and black people in... (stammers)

  • What's another country with black people?

  • Well, there's this one.

  • (stammers) Thiswan?

  • I never heard of it. But I'm sure

  • Thiswan is a beautiful country!

  • Okay, look, Kosta, I'm not saying there's no difference.

  • I just don't understand how the candidates campaign differently

  • in New Hampshire versus Iowa.

  • It's a totally different ball game.

  • For-for example, in Iowa,

  • you can say, "It's great to be here in Iowa,"

  • but that's not gonna fly in New Hampshire.

  • Yeah, you're right. That does seem like a challenge.

  • And then there's the voters.

  • Remember, you're talking to very different groups of people.

  • Iowans are rural,

  • while New Hampshirites are not urban, okay?

  • Iowans, Iowans are blue-collar,

  • but New Hampshirians are working-class.

  • Plus, Iowans call it pop,

  • and New Hampshirinos call it soda.

  • They're-they're basically different planets.

  • I don't know about that, Michael.

  • A lot of people don't agree with your assessment.

  • For instance, how would you respond to the criticism

  • that these predominantly white states

  • aren't the best states to kick off the primaries?

  • Because these candidates could be starting

  • in a more representative state of the country,

  • like-like California or Florida.

  • I hear what you're saying, Trevor, and yes,

  • Iowa and New Hampshire are white, but hear me out.

  • They're also boring as hell, okay?

  • -(laughter) -And that's what we want.

  • We don't want our candidates going to fun states,

  • like Florida or California.

  • If you got to spend a year campaigning in Miami,

  • everyone would be running for president.

  • -(laughter) -But if you're willing to spend a year

  • eating bland food in subzero temperatures,

  • pretending to care about how big a pumpkin is,

  • that's how I know you really want to be president, okay?

  • And that's why the road to the White House

  • has to go through here, Des Moines, Iowa.

  • No, Kosta, you're in New Hampshire.

  • What? Eh, who cares?

  • These places are all the (bleep) same anyway.

  • Michael Kosta, everybody.

New Hampshire--

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ニューハンプシャー・プライマリー2020|ザ・デイリーショー (The New Hampshire Primary 2020 | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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