No, I'm not going through an identity crisis.

No, I haven't stopped Zoe Deschanel for the past 20 years, and I'm trying to imitate her haircut.

That was a little bit true, but yes, it is 2:15 a.m. And I am about to cut my bangs because apparently I don't have enough regrets in my life already.

So let's just add another one to the West.

Why don't we?

For real, though I have been thinking about getting bangs for a while.

I have seen a bunch of girls that I follow on Instagram recently Getting home, which is not.

It's found a good basis for life changing decisions.

But you know what?

Fuck it.

Hair grows back.

There's no time like the present hashtag no regrets.

Half Ted YOLO.

As the kids say, That was really cringe.

Before we begin, let me walk you through a brief history of my relationship with bags.

Here is my first known encounter with bangs.

As you may note for my haircut, this is more of a 360 degree bang situation.

Okay?

My grandfather literally put a bowl on top of my head cut all the way around it and then fucked up this one little chunk in the front.

My botched bowl cut evolved into this lovely, lovely haircut, which I like to call the hair helmet.

This, for some reason, was a haircut that my mom thought looked the cutest on me.

However, my socially awkward asked hated going to the hairdresser with a passion so I would let my bangs grow out until I literally could not see any more.

And then my mom would finally force me to go to the hairdresser again.

This vicious cycle continued until seventh grade, when my 12 year old ass had the ingenious idea of growing out my bangs into this motherfucker.

The hefty side swept a bang, a thing that literally nobody can pull off.

But everybody in the 2000 thought they could after about four years of struggling to grow out that hideous forehead squirrel That brings us to today where I finally for gotten all of the pain and suffering the banks have caused me, and I'm just gonna suck it all off over again.

So, based on the like to haircutting tutorials that I watched before filming this video.

Here are the materials that you will need a comb.

I realize this is not a co, but I don't own one.

So I'm just gonna go with a hairbrush because that seems similar.

A pair of here cutting scissors, some goodwill h 20 to get your bangs damp, a hair dryer and a flat iron to style boat and some emergency supplies in case it all goes terribly wrong, which it probably will be so cheap.

Trader Joe's wine.

I'm coming for you.

So what I've seen in tutorials what the kids in the street are saying is that the first step is to bring this front section of your hair forward.

I am going to use my little boling water here and just get this area a little bit damp so that I could restyle it so it faces forward.

Now that I'm looking like a fucking lagoon monster, I am going to blow dry this baby first.

I'm going one way on way to confuse the thought.

This takes me back to fifth grade.

Next up, it is time for some partitioning action.

So since my hair is pretty thick, I think this is actually too large a triangle of hair.

I'm not trying to throw it back to the chunky ass bangs that I had for most of my life.

So I'm gonna take some of this hair back to the sides for more of a wispy light and airy look.

I see that this is where a CO would have been useful, but who needs a comb when you have God's comb?

Your fingernails already out here is our little bang A triangle.

I don't know why you have to do a triangle, but that's what the Internet told me.

So I am rolling with it, and now it is time.

Oh, God, Oh, God.

Now it's time to cut the hair.

Let's do this motherfucker!

Ah, lot of tutorials that I've watched online have you gathered your hair to the front and then twist it and then cut it.

Some of them turned out really cute, but it seems like motion of the tutorials I watched where the girl's hair is absolutely fucked.

Afterwards.

This seems to be the fatal point when you do the twisty because it gives you like the illusion of control.

I look like a barcode.

What the heck, so I am going to not do that.

I'm actually just gonna separate out the two little n bits so that I'm left with those nice little face framers around the edge of the bangs.

And I'm gonna go in just for the middle section.

Oh, and cut it.

You're doing this.

Actually, you're doing this, actually, um oh, God.

Who?

Oh, God, it's happening.

It's happening.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, goodness.

Oh, goodness.

Who?

Okay, well, there's something.

Oh, that's a little a little chunkier than I wanted, but we're gonna see what we can do about this.

Well, I will say they're not kidding when they tell you to cut them longer than you think you need.

Because as soon as I cut those, they, like, sprung up.

I thought I cut them like to and just too long, but they're kind of close to the right height.

So right now, this looks very fucking blocky.

So I'm just taking two fingers, wrapping a piece and then chopping upwards vertically like this.

So it just thins out the hair a little bit.

I'm nickel in and take a little bit of the length off so that I can actually see out of my own eyes would be great.

And then I'm also gonna do a couple of these numbers where you just kind of go down the front of the hair and give it a light little like boop boop boop boop!

The official sound hairdressers make in order to send it out a little bit more.

That existential dread that this is what I look like now is finally settling in.

Okay, I look like a fucking monk.

I have determined.

I think I need a little bit Maur face framing action.

So I'm gonna take some war hair down from the sides here and trim it just a couple inches so that it is the same height as the little tendrils and then I'm gonna send this section out.

Oh, no, Who?

No hopes.

Okay, come like an inch off my hair that I didn't mean to.

But you know what?

Whatever it blends in, I was gonna say I'm gonna thin this out like I was doing the other hair.

Is this my life now?

Just playing with my bangs for, like, 40 minutes.

I think this is as good as it's gonna get.

Um okay, sure.

I cannot tell whether I look absurd or whether I look cute.

I will say I look better than I did when I was in fifth grade, so I'll take it.

Talk.

I'm gonna get so much forehead acne.

So God, I don't know how well, you know what?

I like it.

Still gonna drink this wine?

No.