And welcome to a wholesome ass conversation about sex.

I am so excited to film this video because, I mean, you guys probably know based on the number of sexual references that are in my video, I have to like George around there a little bit.

Oh, she's a scorer.

And by magic, I mean hours and hours of editing and all those X.

But I am a huge proponent of being open and honest about sex.

So I'm gonna be dispelling all of my sexual wisdom onto you guys today losing your virginity, masturbation, casual sex, the whole shebang.

I have so many topics to cover in this video.

So let's just dive on right in.

Kiddos, I shouldn't call you kiddos.

This is a This is a sexual video.

We're all consenting adults here.

Before we jump into any of the other sections of this video, I just wanted to talk briefly about societal conceptions about sex and how they've affected me and how I think they affect a lot of woman.

Over the past couple of decades, our society has made so much progress in terms off making women feel more comfortable with their sexual choices, but I feel like we still have such a long way to go today.

It's all about woman being sexually empowered, but it's always this undercurrent of Oh, you have to be sexually empowered.

But you can't be slutty, You know, it's like you can only have so much sex.

You can't take it too far.

And on the other side of things with casual sex and hook up culture, there's also this pressure to be sexually experienced and to be able to have casual sex without getting emotionally attached.

Really, none of it matters.

It's all societal construct.

So please just do you, fam however much we'll have our little or have her late or early.

You have sex as long as it is consensual and you're having a good time.

That is all that matters, even though I like to think of myself as like a kick ass feminist badass lady who doesn't give a fuck about society's standards.

You know, they really do get to you because I've grown up with those messages my entire life when I was a freshman in college and I felt ready to have sex for the first time with my first boyfriend.

I had this like It was an uncontrollable feeling of shame and guilt.

And it wasn't because I didn't feel ready to have sex or because I didn't feel safe with my boyfriend.

Why didn't feel comfortable in my body?

I think all the subliminal messaging over the years had really built up in my head telling me that if I lost my virginity, I'd be a different woman.

I'd be impure.

People around me would suddenly know or like I'd somehow be a worse person.

It was such a mind.

Fuck.

I literally cried in my dead because I was so conflicted.

And I think a lot of girls go through this because there's so much pressure.

I mean, it's called losing your virginity.

It sounds like a part of you is going to go missing.

That frustrates me even to say, because obviously your value is not determined by how much or how little sex that you have.

Sex is your business and nobody else's.

And after I lost my virginity, nobody looked at me differently.

Nobody treated me differently.

I didn't feel any different.

It was just like a new experience that I had gained and it's a new part of life that I could enjoy.

Even after I was having sex pretty regularly, I felt like every time I had sex, I was using up a finite number of sexual experiences I had before I became loose and undesirable in my vagina just deteriorated into Bush, which is not at all true.

My vagina has done a lot in her day, and she's still going strong.

I personally and our society as a whole has a long way to go in terms of associating how many times you have sex with whom you have sex with your worth as a woman.

I've even seen it in the ways that my friends talk about sex.

Oh, I slept with this guy, but trust me, I don't sleep with that many guys or I only let him go down on me.

But trust me like I didn't have sex with him, as if that is some type of defense to their character and that they're not one of the slutty girls.

Now I try to be a lot more careful about the way that I talk about sex, never giving these caveats for myself.

No, I like having sex.

I have sex and women who have sex more or less than they are equally amazing humans, you know.

So with that out of the way, one of the first topics I want to talk about was masturbation.

Kind of like humped things around the house when I was younger, but I didn't realize it was a sexual thing until later on.

I've said this in another video, but in my sex ed class in middle school they took the guys outside and talk to them about masturbation, and they left the girls inside the classroom and didn't tell us shit.

And they never gave us a lesson on it.

Later, it was just like, Hey, guys, here is a lesson about jerking it off and then girls like, good fucking luck.

I would masturbate in high school, but I felt a lot of shame about it.

I felt like so dirty afterwards, and I was like, Oh, my God, I can't believe I did that like you're such a piece of shit.

And I would never talk to anybody about it.

Like when guys in my high school realized that female masturbation was a big my friends would like ask me if I did it and I was always like, Oh, no, because I felt like it was too taboo to talk about.

So I want to let you guys Oh, that masturbation is completely normal and cool.

This is gonna get very personal.

But when I was younger, I also would only rub the Clint or like home things.

I wouldn't put my fingers into my vagina because I thought that it would like, stretch me out and make me too loose and therefore, like, decrease my sexual value later in life, which is not true, honey, like you can put some fingers out there and you're doing fine.

And it probably would have made losing my virginity a little bit less painful if I had a kind of experimented around with myself.

First, a poly would have made me better at sex and enjoy it.

More Masturbation is also a great way to figure out you know what's going on down there, what you like, what gets you off because you know, the female organs are a little bit complicated and they never really teach you that in school, and everybody's is a little bit different, but great.

Once you start having sex with other people to know what you like, where you can direct them if they're going down on you, I sound like a fucking ad for masturbation.

Let's talk about porn real quick.

I grew up on a lot of tumbler porn, which is now banned from their sights.

So thanks a lot, Tumbler.

You can now only see male presenting nipples on their website and no female presenting nipples.

Tumbler was a really good place for me to kind of dip a toe into porn because there is a lot of aggressive and hard core porn out there.

There's also a site called Walesa, which is full of curated female friendly porn.

It's generally pretty high production quality they focus on like female orgasms.

It's nothing too aggressive or misogynistic, like a lot of male focused porn can be.

So that is a great place if you're looking for, like, some safe content to masturbate to.

A lot of people I know are also a fan of amateur porn because it depicts sex so much more realistically, especially when I was younger and I was watching porn, but I hadn't had sex, yet it really can shape the way that you expect sex to be.

I thought that woman always had to be super sexy, like moaning all time back, arched ass out, you know, And that's not really how sex is like, you know it's not.

It's not perfected the moans or not always that loud.

The dicks are not always that big.

I started out with lesbian Foreign, actually, because I felt like I was a lot more gentle because I hadn't had sex yet.

I didn't understand what the sensation of like Penetration really was about, so we just looked like it hurt.

So, yeah, I started watching lesbian porn, and then from there, I kind of gradually explored my porn preferences.

Honestly, I used to be really unattractive to penises.

I was just like, I don't like how dicks look where they're weird.

They're ugly.

I literally never looked at my first boyfriend's Penis for, like, extended periods of time because I just was like you.

That's kind of groups, so it would be like a couple years to actually enjoy the view of a Penis.

But if you find straight forward a little bit aggressive to start out with lesbian porn is also, like, pretty sexy in my opinion.

Next up, let's talk about losing your V card.

Okay, the sexual debut that's cheesy.

I don't think that sexual debut will catch on, but I really hate the term losing your virginity.

I've recommended trying sex for the first time with somebody you've known for a little while you trust and respects you and is really gonna be looking out for you and make sure that you feel good and that you feel safe because that's what sex is all about.

My first time was actually quite painful because I hadn't even really stuck my fingers up there before.

I hadn't put a tampon in like nothing had gone up my vagina before.

He kind of just like, fingered me for a little bit and then had sex with a couple more sessions of like fingering or going down on me.

To get me used to that sensation would have been good.

But obviously that's not his fault.

It's also my fault for not knowing what to ask for.

I hope this is common knowledge by now.

But say it with me kids, your Hyman since always great when you have sex and a little membrane that stretched out and it has a hole in it.

So if you masturbate, if you put a tampon up there, it's not necessarily going to shatter your high man.

You know, you're not gonna, like, lose your virginity to a tampon.

That's another thing that typically will bleed and call it a little bit of pain the first time it stretched out, which tends to be the first time you have penetrative sex, but it can be stretched out like riding a bike doing sports.

So don't worry if you don't bleed, but just in case.

Probably put like a little towel down there so you don't ruin the bedsheets my time and did do the bleeding thing.

But honestly, it wasn't that painful.

I give it like a three out of 10 and if you're properly warmed up and moved, really, losing your virginity does not have to be that painful.

Let's talk about contraception.

Yeah, the people that I grew up with, you know, they don't they will have protected sex that I came to college and I met some people that were like, Oh no, look, nobody uses condoms.

It's like completely normal to have unprotected sex.

And I was like, What the fuck?

No matter what the kids are saying these days, nothing is cooler than not getting an S t I and not getting an unwanted pregnancy.

So please be safe, kiddo.

Zordon Rose did a really thorough video about all of the different forms of contraception.

There is the pill.

There is Judy's.

There is even a little injection that you could get in your arms, and I personally have not tried out too many different ones.

I pretty much always used condoms, which I know we're not 100% effective.

Last year I did try the NuvaRing for a couple months, but it really messed with my emotions, like I was probably the most depressed that I've ever been.

I really didn't feel like myself, and it took me three months to figure out that it might be correlated to the birth control, which I just I just hate that I lost, like, three months of the fucking new veteran because I was such a sad being back then, and that's not to scare you guys away from it.

I know the new ring works really great for some people, and it was super low maintenance, so I like that about it.

Also, for the longest time, I always expected a guy to have a condom on him, but it's nice to always be prepared.

Just get yourself a box, put it under your bed, just in case.

If you do end up having unprotected sex.

First of all, no, that prick, um, can get you pregnant.

It depends on the guy, but there is a small chance that you'll get pregnant, even if he pulls out.

Secondly, Plan B is a great option if there is some type of mistake.

If the condom breaks, it is sucking expensive.

It's like $50 1 of the most friggin millennial experiences I've ever had was the morning after going to Rite Aid with a guy getting him to buy Plan B and then then mowing him back at half the cost of it.

So that wasn't a fun time.

Next, let's talk about casual sex, which is something that I don't hear a lot of YouTubers talking about.

I enjoy both relationships and casual sex.

Honestly, some of the best sex that I've had has come from people off of dating APS from people that I didn't know that well.

But I also had great sex in relationships.

Most of my casual sexual experiences have been off the good old tender.

You guys know that I am quite the dating app connoisseur.

The way I like to go about it, to make sure that I feel safe and I feel comfortable with a guy is always message for a little bit first, usually a couple of days to a week.

Then we'll go out on a date.

The day doesn't have to be something too long and complicated and romantic if you really are just looking to hit it and quit it if you know what I'm saying.

I've always been open to dating and casual sex, kind of at the same time, so I like at least opening the door for a chance for a little bit of romance or a little bit of connection.

Even if you don't end up having a romantic connection with them, it can't just be a fun time to try something new in your city to hang out with somebody and learn about their life feel more comfortable with a make sure they're not a serial killer is always nice.

If I've had a good time having sex with a guy, I'd like to, you know, invite him back for a second row over time, having a casual sex relationship can have some benefits because you get to know each other's bodies better.

You feel more comfortable.

You can explore like kinks what positions you like, what music you like, et cetera.

Even though hookup culture in college and especially in L.

A, sometimes makes it harder to get a long term relationships to really connect with people.

I'm also grateful for how much it's let me explore my sexuality and my body and how different people have sex.

Sex is kind of like learning any other skill in life.

The more you do it, and the more different experiences you have, the more you know what you like and the better you can get at it.

There's so much pressure on guys.

Thio always know what they're doing and really like rock your world sexually.

But it's equally my responsibility to make sure that the guy has a good time and we're both putting an effort, if that makes sense.