So I wokeupthismorningonfourhoursofsleep, running a spicylittlefeverandbleedingoutofmyvagina.
And I thought, Youknowwhatseemslike a greatdaytofilm a video?
Trustme.
Normally I amprettyfunctionalonmyperiod.
Buttoday I amexperiencingthemotherofallperiods.
I shouldhaveseenthiscoming, too, becauseforthepastthreedays I'vehadthemostintensePMScravings, which I don't evenknowwhere.
A thingoffmyentirelife.
I haveliterallybeencominghomefromclass, grabbingtwopintsofdairyfreeicecreamstandinginthekitchenwithbothofthemopentwodifferentspoons, justlikealternatingbetweenthetwoflavors.
I don't knowwhatishappeningtomybody, butitisnotenjoyingitselfrightnow.
Today I thought I'd justtakeiteasyonmyselfandmygenitals.
I have a pileofthingsherethatjustneed a littlebitoffixingup.
I alsojustfindthat, like, weirdlysoothingtofixthings, whichprobablyexplains a lotaboutmyexboyfriends.
I actuallyusedtofeellikesomuchshameaboutmasturbationbecause I kindoflikehumpingthings.
Since I was a lovelylike 12 I didn't reallyunderstandwhat I wasdoing, butlikeeventually I guessthatyou'reout.
Itwas a sexualthing, andthen I justfeltsupersupershittyaboutit.
I don't knowifsexedisdifferentnow, but I rememberwhen I wasinsixthgradetheystopreadingalloftheguysandthegirlsAndtheytooktheguysoutsideandtheytalktothemaboutmasturbation, andallthegirlssatinsidetheclassroomandtheyjustleftusaloneanddidn't tellusshit.
Admittedly, I knowthatguysfigureoutthatmasturbationis a thingbeforegirls, but I can't believetheyjustfuckingleftusinthedark.
I havemixedfeelingsaboutleopardstrendthat's happeningrightnow, but I figured, youknowwhynot?
I'llbuy a littlesomethingandexperimentthis.
Giveme a littlebitofcavemanvibes, but I feellikeif I pairitwith a black T shirtorsomething.
Itwon't looktooFlintstones.
Sowhenthiscararrived, itwas a littlebittoolongforme.
So I don't knowifyoucanseehere, butOkay, I'm gonnashowyoubecause I feellike I'm doing a verybadjobofexplainingwhat's goingonrightnow.
Thisishowtheskirtnormallyis.
And I feellikethisis a littlebitlongonmeand a littlebitstraightacross.
Sobecause I amscandalouslikethat, I'm gonnamovethissectionoftheskirt a littlebitinitwhere I wantittoendup, andthen I'm justgonnado a tinylittlestitchthat'llhopefullyholditinplace.
I reallyholdthatmadesense.
Sohereiswhatitlookslikepinned.
Soit'llbe a littlebitshorteralready.
Whatisnextontheagenda?
Kiddos, let's talkaboutperiodsex, shallwe?
I haveactuallyneverhadperiodsex.
Letmeknow.
Youguyshasthoughtsofbelow.
I'm definitelynotopposedtoit.
I justnever I dated a guywhowasaroundmeduringmyperiodbecausewedidn't livethatclosetogether.
Myquestionis, attheend, istherejustkindoflike a puddleofbloodonwhateverpoortowelyou'velaidout?
Butnot a singledaygoesbywhenhedoesn't shitondigitalmedia.
I havetoreadthisentirebookcalledTelevisionisthenewtelevision, whichisabouthowdigitalmediaislikefailingandtelevisionwillalwayssucceed, whichissomebullshit.
Thatofferissogoddamnsassy.
Um, yeah.
Recently, oneofourguestlecturerswhowas a realityTVproducer, roundlyshowedusthisclipof a TVshowhemadeinwhichlittlepeoplecompetedinsportsagainstanimals.
Wesatinclassforfiveminutesandwatchedthisrelayraceofffourlittlepeopleagainst a singlecamel.
I justwishthat I couldgooutsidealonewhen I wantedThioatwhatevertimeofday I wantedThioandfeellike I wasn't goingtodiewouldbegreat.
SoHalloweeniscomingup, and I feellikethere's alwayscontroversyeveryyearaboutthemostabsurd, sexyHalloweencostumesfor a womanpossiblesexyCornisoneofmyfavoritesofalltimesexy.
BurtonJourneyisalsokindofupthere.
Youguys, itisediting, actuallyinNovember, and I wantedtoapologizethatthesereferencestoHalloweenorsomewhatoutdatedandtoclarifythatit's notbecause I'm a lazyeditor.
I'veactuallyhadthisvideofinishforover a monthnow.
Butwhen I initiallyuploaded, itgottomonetized.
I'vebeenspendingthelastmonthtryingtogothroughvariouspeopleatYouTubetotrytoconvincethemtomonetizeit, buttheybasicallyrefusedto, and I'm notgonnabesaltyaboutthemoneyoranythinglikethat.
That's notthemostimportantthingtome.
Thethingthat I careaboutmostisthatYouTubeandtheadvertisersthatpartnerwithYouTubearesystematicallydiscouragingpeopleandspecificallywomanandpeoplefromtheLGBTcommunityfromtalkingaboutrealthingsthathappentotheirbodies.
WhereaspeoplelikeLoganPolegettoshow a deadbodyonscreenanddon't gettomonetizeorpeoplewhosaysexistorracistthingsorprankchannelsthatgowaytoofar, thatstuffissociallyacceptable.
I knowthatYouTubehastoanswertoadvertisersandadvertisershavetoanswertothegeneralpublic, but I justwishthatthecontentthat I madeandmysalaryoffofthatwasn't beholdentojustthelowestcommondenominatorofwhatissociallyacceptableAnyways, backtothevideo.
Overall, I absolutelythinkHalloweenisindicativeof a greaterproblemthatwehave, Ah, viewingwomenassexobjects.
What I willsay.
Onething I appreciateaboutyousell A isthatHalloweenisreallyunequalopportunityemployerandthattheguysdressuplikesuperfuckingsexytotheirobjectifyingthemselvesjustasmuchasthegirlsarefreshmanyear.
When I wentoutforHalloween, myoverhe's mayormaynothaveexploded.
Normally, when I get a fever, I'm notquitesureifit's justbecausemyapartmentissuperhotand I don't have a C orif I genuinelyandsick I feellike I'vehad a lightfevergoingfor, like, threeweeksnow, Butthisone's kindofbad.
Yeah.
I mightactuallybesickthistime.
Tobefair, itwouldkindofmakesenseif I wassickbecause I haven't beensleeping.
I'vealsobeenseeingthisguywhohad a reallybadfluandhadtogotothehospitalforit.
But I onlyfoundthatoutafter I madeoutwithhisface.
I wantsoyeah, probablyfuckinghavetheflute.
Thatwouldmake a lotofsense, actually, radio.
I'm justgonnatieupthisbaby, allright?
And I don't evenknowifyouguyscansee.
Butthereusedtobe a holethere, andtheholeisnolongerfuckit.