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  • -I am your host, Jimmy Fallon, and based on 0% of the vote,

  • I'm declaring myself the winner of Iowa.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] That's right.

  • People are still talking about last night's Iowa caucuses.

  • It was being called the Super Bowl of politics,

  • but it ended up being called the Fyre Festival.

  • I was waiting to see Ja Rule on CNN.

  • That's right -- a bunch of technical issues

  • made for a long night in Iowa without a winner.

  • We haven't seen white people that confused

  • since they first tried to dab.

  • ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]

  • It was pretty wild.

  • Just listen to what they were saying on the news.

  • -This is a disaster.

  • -Chaos and confusion. -Debacle.

  • -Meltdown. -A mess.

  • -Yikes! -How does this happen?

  • Can we see who is in charge of the Iowa caucuses?

  • Oh, there you are.

  • That's right -- the caucuses were

  • delayed, chaotic, and frustrating, which explains

  • their official sponsor, Spirit Airlines.

  • It was crazy.

  • You could tell Iowa was having trouble counting votes.

  • At one point they, called Florida for help.

  • I don't get it.

  • They had four years to prepare and they messed it up.

  • I mean, look, if NBC can count the votes for "The Voice,"

  • then Iowa should be able to do it for a presidential election.

  • Call Carson Daly! He'll help you out!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Well, Iowa's Democratic Party says their new app

  • for reporting results had a coding issue.

  • So, if you think your job is tough,

  • imagine the staffers who had to explain coding issues

  • to these guys.

  • That's right -- there were issues figuring out the results

  • all over the state.

  • Check out how things were being counted in one precinct.

  • -This gentleman here is now putting those numbers --

  • -It's below .5.

  • -The Warren number -- it's...

  • For those who like long decimal numbers.

  • -.85714287.

  • -Okay, we're getting a long decimal now, so...

  • -Are you telling me that guy didn't know

  • how to use a new app on his phone?

  • Well, the company that made the Iowa voting app

  • is actually called Shadow.

  • -Ooh!

  • -Yeah, even Mark Zuckerberg was like, "Mm, seems shady."

  • Some controversy here, though.

  • It came out that Pete Buttigieg's campaign

  • has paid Shadow to do work for them in the past.

  • So, all day, the hashtag "MayorCheat"

  • was trending on Twitter.

  • Democrats were furious.

  • Even Mike Bloomberg was like,

  • "How dare you try to buy this election?"

  • And get this -- at one caucus, a woman snuck

  • in a bottle of wine, but she dropped it, and it shattered.

  • -Oh! -Take a look. Yeah.

  • And security was like, "That's not supposed to be here,

  • and neither are you, Mrs. Clinton.

  • Let's go."

  • Yep, we waited and waited all night

  • for the results in Iowa, but they never came.

  • And you could tell everyone was getting impatient,

  • even the graphics guy on CNN.

  • Did you see this? Watch this.

  • -But they are going to allow people to participate in a way

  • that matters, not quite at that same time,

  • unlike a primary election, Wolf, where you have

  • all day long to vote and, you know,

  • polls are open maybe 10 hours a day.

  • You can go and vote.

  • The caucus process has been, you got to show up

  • on a cold winter night, in a room...

  • -Last night wasn't just about the Iowa caucuses,

  • 'cause it was also an all-new episode of "The Bachelor."

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Did you see that?

  • And if any "Bachelor" fans are confused

  • by the situation in Iowa, maybe this will help.

  • First, voters showed up at their precincts to decide

  • which candidate they wanted to give their final rose to.

  • All eyes were on Iowa, and Iowans collectively said...

  • -I'm back, bitches! -Yeah.

  • -But, soon, the night turned sour as the volunteers realized

  • there was a coding issue with their voting app.

  • The results were delayed, people were frustrated,

  • and everyone was like...

  • -I'm, like, befumbled. And I don't know another word.

  • -Even without results,

  • candidates starting making speeches,

  • and Pete Buttigieg even declared himself the winner,

  • which might have seemed like a good idea at the time

  • but ended up blowing up in his face.

  • And while Iowa was figuring out their mess,

  • the rest of the country was left feeling like this.

  • -[ Screaming ]

  • -Yeah.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Meanwhile, back in Washington tonight,

  • President Trump delivered his State of the Union address.

  • You can tell he's fired up about the impeachment trial ending.

  • He rolled in on a hoverboard, tossing out glow sticks.

  • Yeah. -Wow.

  • -The White House said Trump's speech

  • was designed to focus on policy buckets,

  • like the economy and immigration,

  • as opposed to the buckets Trump usually focuses on --

  • original and extra crispy.

  • Some more political news.

  • The New York State Senate is considering a bill

  • that would make it illegal to text while walking.

  • Some senators are voting no, while the rest are voting "K."

  • This is concerning.

  • More Americans watched Super Bowl LIV

  • than voted in the 2016 election,

  • which explains why the Democratic front-runner

  • in New Hampshire is Baby Nut.

  • And, finally, scientists just discovered

  • a new weed compound that's 30 times more powerful than THC.

  • That's the good news.

  • The bad news is -- they gave out free samples

  • at the Iowa caucuses last night.

  • We got a great show.

-I am your host, Jimmy Fallon, and based on 0% of the vote,

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アイオワ州議会は政治の祭典になる (Iowa Caucuses Become the Fyre Festival of Politics)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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