字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント -I am your host, Jimmy Fallon, and based on 0% of the vote, I'm declaring myself the winner of Iowa. [ Cheers and applause ] That's right. People are still talking about last night's Iowa caucuses. It was being called the Super Bowl of politics, but it ended up being called the Fyre Festival. I was waiting to see Ja Rule on CNN. That's right -- a bunch of technical issues made for a long night in Iowa without a winner. We haven't seen white people that confused since they first tried to dab. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] It was pretty wild. Just listen to what they were saying on the news. -This is a disaster. -Chaos and confusion. -Debacle. -Meltdown. -A mess. -Yikes! -How does this happen? Can we see who is in charge of the Iowa caucuses? Oh, there you are. That's right -- the caucuses were delayed, chaotic, and frustrating, which explains their official sponsor, Spirit Airlines. It was crazy. You could tell Iowa was having trouble counting votes. At one point they, called Florida for help. I don't get it. They had four years to prepare and they messed it up. I mean, look, if NBC can count the votes for "The Voice," then Iowa should be able to do it for a presidential election. Call Carson Daly! He'll help you out! [ Cheers and applause ] Well, Iowa's Democratic Party says their new app for reporting results had a coding issue. So, if you think your job is tough, imagine the staffers who had to explain coding issues to these guys. That's right -- there were issues figuring out the results all over the state. Check out how things were being counted in one precinct. -This gentleman here is now putting those numbers -- -It's below .5. -The Warren number -- it's... For those who like long decimal numbers. -.85714287. -Okay, we're getting a long decimal now, so... -Are you telling me that guy didn't know how to use a new app on his phone? Well, the company that made the Iowa voting app is actually called Shadow. -Ooh! -Yeah, even Mark Zuckerberg was like, "Mm, seems shady." Some controversy here, though. It came out that Pete Buttigieg's campaign has paid Shadow to do work for them in the past. So, all day, the hashtag "MayorCheat" was trending on Twitter. Democrats were furious. Even Mike Bloomberg was like, "How dare you try to buy this election?" And get this -- at one caucus, a woman snuck in a bottle of wine, but she dropped it, and it shattered. -Oh! -Take a look. Yeah. And security was like, "That's not supposed to be here, and neither are you, Mrs. Clinton. Let's go." Yep, we waited and waited all night for the results in Iowa, but they never came. And you could tell everyone was getting impatient, even the graphics guy on CNN. Did you see this? Watch this. -But they are going to allow people to participate in a way that matters, not quite at that same time, unlike a primary election, Wolf, where you have all day long to vote and, you know, polls are open maybe 10 hours a day. You can go and vote. The caucus process has been, you got to show up on a cold winter night, in a room... -Last night wasn't just about the Iowa caucuses, 'cause it was also an all-new episode of "The Bachelor." [ Cheers and applause ] Did you see that? And if any "Bachelor" fans are confused by the situation in Iowa, maybe this will help. First, voters showed up at their precincts to decide which candidate they wanted to give their final rose to. All eyes were on Iowa, and Iowans collectively said... -I'm back, bitches! -Yeah. -But, soon, the night turned sour as the volunteers realized there was a coding issue with their voting app. The results were delayed, people were frustrated, and everyone was like... -I'm, like, befumbled. And I don't know another word. -Even without results, candidates starting making speeches, and Pete Buttigieg even declared himself the winner, which might have seemed like a good idea at the time but ended up blowing up in his face. And while Iowa was figuring out their mess, the rest of the country was left feeling like this. -[ Screaming ] -Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] Meanwhile, back in Washington tonight, President Trump delivered his State of the Union address. You can tell he's fired up about the impeachment trial ending. He rolled in on a hoverboard, tossing out glow sticks. Yeah. -Wow. -The White House said Trump's speech was designed to focus on policy buckets, like the economy and immigration, as opposed to the buckets Trump usually focuses on -- original and extra crispy. Some more political news. The New York State Senate is considering a bill that would make it illegal to text while walking. Some senators are voting no, while the rest are voting "K." This is concerning. More Americans watched Super Bowl LIV than voted in the 2016 election, which explains why the Democratic front-runner in New Hampshire is Baby Nut. And, finally, scientists just discovered a new weed compound that's 30 times more powerful than THC. That's the good news. The bad news is -- they gave out free samples at the Iowa caucuses last night. We got a great show.