字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント -If you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that cool? Because I was running a bit behind. [ Cheers and applause ] James, can I get some thank-you note writing music, please? ♪♪ [ Laughter ] His -- his tie is missing. -Wow. Think he lost it? -He must have lost his tie, yeah. [ Laughter ] There we go. -Is it casual Friday? I don't know. ♪♪ Thank you, Mitch McConnell's smile at the State of the Union, for looking like the Mona Lisa's weird creepy uncle. [ Laughter and applause ] -Wow. ♪♪ [ Laughter ] -Thank you, Iowa caucuses, for giving us definitive results of the one thing we pretty much already knew, old people are not good with apps. [ Laughter and applause ] -Hey, what? [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Thank you, Altoids tins, for making my pants sound like they're playing calypso music. [ Laughter and applause ] [ Bouncy calypso music playing ] [ Whooping ] [ Rhythmic clapping ] -Curiously strong. [ Music ends ] ♪♪ -Thank you, Red Lobster ads, for showing that there's nothing more appetizing than watching seafood catch some sick air. [ Laughter and applause ] -Wah! -[ Laughs ] Through water. [ Laughter ] Mm, shrimps. ♪♪ [ Laughter ] Shrimps are good. [ Laughter ] I like shrimps. [ Laughter ] Those biscuits are good, too. [ Laughter ] -For the seafood -- -What's that? Everything good? -What's that? -I didn't say anything. [ Light laughter ] ♪♪ -Thank you... [ Laughter ] Malbec, for sounding less like a red wine and more like a grizzled detective getting called in to solve one last case. [ Laughter ] "You're a loose cannon, Malbec." [ Applause ] ♪♪ Thank you, Emergen-C, for tricking me into thinking I won't get the flu by eating a tiny packet of Tang. [ Laughter and applause ] There you have it. Those are my thank-you notes.