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  • LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR FIRST CLUE.

  • AND I BELIEVE IT IS A FOOD ORDER.

  • LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

  • IT IS A FOOD, WHAT IS THAT, A POSTMATES, A FOOD ORDER FOR ONE

  • BANANA.

  • WHO HERE ORDERED ONE BANANA.

  • LET'S START OVER HERE, WHAT DID YOU NEED THIS BANANA FOR?

  • >> (LAUGHTER)

  • THAT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU NEED

  • TO-- YOU GOT TO FREEZE BANANAS FOR LIKE SMOOTHIES AND THINGS,

  • RIGHT?

  • JUST THE ONE.

  • >> James: I MEAN THAT IS THE BIGGEST PILE OF BULL [BLEEP] I

  • EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

  • YOU ORDERED ONE BANANA AND YOU SPENT $13.

  • I GUESS THAT NEW C-W MONEY HAS COME IN, HUH?

  • IS THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

  • WHY WERE YOU ORDERING THIS BANANA.

  • WHY COULD YOU NOT GO TO THE SHOP TO GET IT YOURSELF.

  • >> IT WAS, YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED A BANANA SPLIT, JUST THE

  • ONE.

  • >> James: RIGHT.

  • >> I WASN'T HAVING THE GREATEST NIGHT.

  • >> James: BUT YOU HAD ALL THE OTHER CONTENTS.

  • >> YES.

  • >> James: YOU HAD EVERYTHING ELSE.

  • >> HENCE, I DIDN'T GO-- I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE JUST FOR THE ONE

  • $13.

  • >> James: JUST FOR THE ONE $13 BANANA.

  • I'M NOT SURE I BELIEVE YOU, I WILL TELL YOU WHY I DONE BELIEVE

  • YOU.

  • BECAUSE I THINK IT IS YOUR [BLEEP] BANANA, ISN'T IT MIKE,

  • YOU TELL THE TRUTH, TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW.

  • YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE POTASSIUM TO GET TO THE STORE.

  • WHAT HAPPENED, MIERK.

  • >> I ADMIT IT, ITS WITH MY BANANA!

  • I DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING IN THE FAMILY.

  • MY WIFE WOULD TELL YOU AS MUCH.

  • AND I, WHAT HAPPENED WITH THIS ONE, AND THE REASON THAT IT IS

  • POSTMATES IS THAT I HAD GONE GROSS RESHOPPING.

  • I GOT HOME AND SHE SAID WHAT ABOUT THE BANANAS, I BROUGHT

  • HOME AVOCADO, I BROUGHT HOME ORANGES, BREAD, MILK, AND I

  • DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

  • AND SO I POSTMATED JUST BANANAS AND UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS $SP.

  • >> James: LET'S LOOK AT CLUE NUMBER TWO.

  • THE SECRETARY CLUE IS A TEXT, A TEXT THAT WAS EITHER SENT BY OR

  • CAME IN TO THIS PHONE.

  • IT SAYS I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

  • AN IDEA SO SMART THAT MY HEAD WOULD EXPLODE IF I EVEN BEGAN TO

  • KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

  • WERE YOU HIGH WHEN YOU WROTE THIS?

  • >> I MEAN, IT IS SOMETHING THAT I WOULD WRITE CUZ THIS-- I'M

  • PRETTY SURE THIS IS A QUOTE, THIS IS A FAMILY GUY QUOTE, I

  • THINK.

  • >> James: HMMMM.

  • SO WHAT IS THE IDEA?

  • >> I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

  • >> James: REALLY?

  • WHO DID YOU SEND THIS TO?

  • >> IN IS, THIS IS A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.

  • >> James: CALLED.

  • >> IA, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A MAID UP NAME.

  • >> James: IA.

  • >> YEAH, IA.

  • >> James: IA THINK YOU MIGHT BE LYING, THAT IS WHAT YOU

  • THINK.

  • BECAUSE IT IS YOUR TEXT, ISN'T IT, MELISSA, WHAT WAS THE IDEA,

  • TELL ME THE [BLEEP] TRUTH.

  • >> SOMEBODY WAS HIGH AND IT WAS MY MOM SWRZ YOUR MOM WAS HIGH.

  • >> SHE HASN'T TAKEN EDIBLES SINCE THE '70S AND SHE SENT ME

  • THIS AND THEN FORGOT WHAT THE IDEA WAS.

  • >> James: WHERE DID YOUR MOM GET THE EDIBLES FROM.

  • >> SHE WENT TO COLORADO.

  • >> James: OH, THEN THAT'S FINE.

  • THEY'RE GIVING AWAY EDIBLES LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.

  • SO YOUR MUM WAS HIGH, SHOULD I TELL YOU WHAT I AM NOT SURE

  • ABOUT WITH THIS, IS THAT YOUR MUM WAS HIGH AND THIS TEXT WAS

  • SENT AT 8:40 A.M.

  • (LAUGHTER) NOW EITHER YOUR MOM-- EITHER

  • YOUR MOM HAS GOT A SERIOUS PROBLEM OR YOU'RE LYING CUZ IT'S

  • MIKE'S PHONE.

  • IT'S MIKE'S TEXT.

  • WHAT HAPPENED, MIKE.

  • >> MY BREAKING NEWS ON THE SHOW, THE IDEA WAS A MUSICAL I'M

  • WRITING THAT IS ABOUT THE BRAIN.

  • IT IS ABOUT THE HUMAN BRAIN.

  • AND I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.

  • I WAS TEXTING MY WIFE AND SAYING IT IS SO EXCITING THAT MY HEAD

  • WOULD EXPLODE IF I EVEN KNEW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

  • BUT DON'T MENTION IT TO NIBBLES.

  • >> James: OUR NEXT CLUE IS A SONG, THE SONG IS TRUTH HURTS

  • PERFORMED BY LIZZO, AND ST THE KARAOKE VERSION.

  • OF THIS SONG.

  • WHY DID YOU NEED THE KARAOKE VERSION OF TRUTH HURTS BY LIZZO?

  • >> YOU KNOW, IF YOU-- I LIKE TO WRITE MY OWN RAP SONGS.

  • >> James: OKAY, RIGHT.

  • >> SO IF YOU GET A KARAOKE VERSION THEN YOU CAN JUST SING

  • YOUR OWN LYRICS OVER IT, RIGHT.

  • >> James: WHAT WERE SOME OF THOSE LYRICS?

  • >> THEY WERE WESTWORLD 3 LYRICS SO I CAN'T ACTUALLY SAY THEM

  • BECAUSE I WILL GIVE AWAY THE SEASON.

  • SO THERE YOU GO.

  • >> James: THAT WAS SMART.

  • REMIND ME, HOW DOES TRUTH HURTS BY LIZZO GO AGAIN?

  • >> I JUST TOOK A DNA TEST, TURNS OUT I'M 100 PERCENT THAT BITCH

  • EVEN WHEN I'M-- YEAH I GOT BOY PROBLEMS AND THE HUMAN IN ME.

  • SO YOU WERE DOING THIS TO PERFORM FOR OTHER PEOPLE, IS

  • THAT RIGHT?

  • >> FOR MY DOG.

  • >> James: AND WHAT IS YOUR DOG'S NAME.

  • >> FARLEY.

  • >> James: FARLEY, WHAND DOES FARLEY THINK OF YOUR CARE

  • KARAOKE VERSION OF YOUR VERSION.

  • >> SHE IS 100 PERCENT THAT BITCH, LIT REALLILY, SHE LOVES T

  • SHE LOVES IT.

  • >> James: MIKE, BIG LIZZO FAN?

  • >> MEDIUM.

  • >> James: UH-HUH.

  • >> YEAH, MEDIUM.

  • >> James: WHY DID YOU HAVE THE KARAOKE TRACK FOR TRUTH HURTS.

  • >> I WAS ON THE SUBWAY AND THERE WERE SOME DANCERS.

  • AND THEIR BOOMBOX WASN'T WORKING SO I TOOK OUT MY PHONE AND I

  • WENT ON THIS-- THIS THING THAT HAS THIS SONG.

  • >> James: AND YOU THOUGHT THE BEST THING TO DO WOULD BE TO GO

  • TO THE KARAOKE VERSION OF THAT SONG.

  • >> YEAH, BECAUSE THEY WERE DANCERS, JAMES, THEY WERE

  • DANCERS.

  • >> James: WELL, DANCERS DON'T DANCE TO LYRICS.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT, JAMES AND IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT DANCING,

  • YOU WITH WOULD KNOW THAT SOMETIMES DANCERS NEED TO THE

  • KARAOKE VERSION SO THAT THEY CAN FILL IN A FEW DAMN WORDS TO GIVE

  • IT SOME SPICE.

  • >> THEY WERE DOING A SUBWAY THEMED VERSION OF LIZZO'S TRUTH

  • HURTS.

  • >> James: OR OH WERE THEY.

  • >> SOMETHING LIKE DO DO DO, SUBWAY, SUBWAY.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT, DOO DOO DO SUBWAYS, SUBWAYS.

  • LET'S RECAP, WE HAVE A FOOD ORDER FOR A BANANA.

  • WE HAVE A TEXT ABOUT A MIND-BELOWING IDEA AND WE HAVE

  • THE KARAOKE VERSION OF TRUTH HURTS BY LIZZO.

  • I HAVE DECIDED AND I SHALL NOW MAKE MY GUESS I THINK THE OWNER

  • OF THIS CELL PHONE IS MELISSA.

  • OF THIS CELL PHONE IS MELISSA.

  • WILL THE OWNER OF THE CELL PHONE PLEASE STEP FORWARD.

  • NO WAY!

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: THAT WAS CELL PHONE PROFILE, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

  • AFTER THIS.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR FIRST CLUE.

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A2 初級

携帯電話のプロフィール w/ エバン・レイチェル・ウッド、マイク・ビルビグリア&メリッサ・ベノイスト (Cell Phone Profile w/ Evan Rachel Wood, Mike Birbiglia & Melissa Benoist)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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