[clattering]

Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, damn!

[screaming]

[theme music playing]

Megan Thee Stallion, P.I.

[woman screaming]

-[hip-hop music playing] -♪ Real-ass nigga ♪

♪ Give a fuck about a bitch ♪

Hey, hey, hey.

♪ She's a big ol' freak It's a must that I hit ♪

♪ It's a hot girl summer So you know she got it lit ♪

♪ You know she got it lit ♪

♪ Hot girl summer So you know she got it lit ♪

♪ Know she got it lit ♪

♪ Hot girl summer So you know she got it lit ♪

♪ Handle me? Who gon' handle me?

♪ Thinkin' he's a player He's a member on the team ♪

[Janine] Man, it's been another murder.

Bitch, I knew it!

Ma'am, this is a crime scene, okay? You can't be here.

If this is the work of the Fuccbois, we have every right to be there.

Exactly. Move out of my way.

[sirens wailing]

[Janine] Look at this shit.

Oh, my gosh.

It's everywhere.

So, there's only one way out of this alley way,

but you didn't see anyone leave?

What did you see?

I think you got everything you need from me.

I think I have everything I need.

Ma'am. Ma'am.

We do not need advice from a third-grade wannabe P.I.

We got this covered.

If you would have had it covered,

then the families of the victims wouldn't have to call my ass.

Ignore this asshole. I want a full report in the morning.

You heard her. Move out of the way.

Where did he go?

Who?

The witness.

[Janine sighs]

♪ Fuckin' 9 to 5 niggas With that superstar D ♪

♪ Fuck a superstar, nigga Now I got him ballin' ♪

♪ I caught a jet To get that neck ♪

♪ I told him "Call, don't send no text" ♪

What are you looking at?

I'm looking at an angel before me.

How you doing? My name is Archimedes.

-And you are? -Megan Thee Stallion.

P.I.

Megan Thee Stallion, P.I.

You know, it's funny, I was just with one of your associates

investigating this crime scene.

And what's it to you?

I mean, if you're conducting an investigation, maybe I can help you.

Over some drinks.

I don't date witnesses.

That's cool, I don't date P.I.s.

♪ And who gon' tell him that my Bitch is getting her degree ♪

♪ And when we say it's "Hot girl summer" ♪

♪ We ain't talkin' 'Bout degrees ♪

♪ Who unfollowed me? Like, who don't follow me ? ♪

♪ 'Cause even in your new bitch I can see a lot of me ♪

[wolf howling]

[soft music playing]

[Megan] You better start talking.

It was dark.

Just a bunch of dudes.

Like how many?

Like eight, maybe ten.

Age, height, race?

None of that matters.

Just a bunch of dudes. Nothing special.

You, you're special.

So are you.

Wait, what am I talking about?

Forget all that. Forget them.

Forget the girl.

None of that matters.

Only reason I put the call in was to meet you.

Megan Thee Stallion.

P.I.

Uh-uh. This is going too fast.

No reflection?

What the fuck?

[man] Next time on Megan Thee Stallion P.I. in Hottieween...

[inaudible]

[Megan] Hey, fuccboi. I'm here to kick your ass.