Hey, man.

やぁ

Oh, "thanks for the beer."

あぁ、”ビールをどうも”

Wow, that was really rude.

なんだよ失礼だな

What do you mean? "Thanks for the beer, Alan."

なんだよ？

Rowan, do you know what air quotes mean?

”ビールありがとう、アラン”

Yes.

ローワン、「エアクオーツ」の意味知ってる？

Okay, what do they mean?

もちろんさ

They mean "genuine emphasis."

じゃどういう意味？

Nope, have you been using air quotes wrong your entire life, Rowan?

これはー

No, I've been using them correctly my entire life to "genuinely emphasize things."

物事を強調する意味のものだろ？

Rowan, air quotes are sarcastic irony. They kind of mean the exact opposite of what you think they mean.

いいや。

What?

君は今までずっとその間違った使い方をしてたのか？

Seriously?

いやいや、俺は今まで正しく使ってきたよ

Why? Rowan, what have you done?

”物事を強調する”ために

Oh.

ローワン、エアクオーツは皮肉の意味があるんだ

Alright, love, I'm gonna head off to the work thing now. I'll see you a bit later.

例えば思ってることと反対の事を言うときとか

What? I thought we were doing date night tonight.

え？

What?

それマジ？

No, I told you about this ages ago.

どうした？

Yeah, but you made it seem like you weren't going anymore.

ローワン、何をしでかしたんだ？

Ah no, I told you that I was "really excited" about the work thing and that I was "definitely going".

おーっと

Yeah...

ちょっと出てくるけど

Okay, well... what time are you coming home?

すぐ戻ってくるよ

Definitely "before midnight".

え？今晩はデートの約束でしょ？

So your just... your going out to get pissed?

え？

No, I'm not. I'm probably only going to have "a few quiet ones".

いや、結構前に話したでしょ？

Okay, whatever, how are you getting home then?

でも、どこにも行かないんだと思ってた

Zoe's gonna drop me off.

あー違うよ、僕は確かにそれが

Zoe from the Wellington conference?

”超楽しみで”

Yes, Zoe from the Wellington conference. But like I told you, we're "just friends".

で”超行きたい”と思ってたんだけど

Are you serious?!

えぇ...

Yes, I'm serious.

わ...わかったわ。何時に帰れるのかしら？

What? Are you sleeping with her?

間違いなく"深夜にはならない"だろうね

No, I'm not "sleeping with her".

じゃああなたは...家から出ていくのね？

So you are f***ing her then?!

とんでもない！

Are you not listening to what I'm saying? Listen to me!

ただ遊ぶだけさ　”静かな友達と”

I never "f**ked her".

もうなんでもいいわ、どうやって家に帰ってくるの？

Baby, listen to me I "love you" and I want to spend "the rest of my life" with "you."

ゾーイが乗っけてってくれるよ

Am I just a f***ing joke to you?!

ウェリントンに出張したときの？

No, I take our relationship "very seriously."

そうだよそのゾーイだ。

Oh my god, how long have you been f***ing Zoe behind my back?

でもなんども言ってるだろ、僕たちは

Are you not listening to what I'm saying?

”ただの友達”だって

We are "just friends" and I never "f**ked her."

本気なの？

You are unbelievable. I am... you know what? I'm leaving.

もち本気さ

Where are you going?!

彼女と寝たの？

I'm going to Brad's house to "not f**k him."

いやいや僕は”彼女と寝てない”よ

Gods... exactly... what?

じゃ彼女とヤッてるのね？

Ooooh...

君は何を聞いてたんだ？

Oh noooo...

よく聞けよ？

OH! F*** I gotta go.

僕は―

Where are you going, Rowan?

一回もー

To Brad's house!

”彼女とヤッたことはない”

Hey, guys "thanks for watching," "please subscribe."

ベイビー、よく聞くんだ

No, genuinely please do subscribe.

僕は君を”愛してる”

Yeah, please.

そして僕は”残りの人生を過ごしたい”

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. "Please subscribe." We'd "really appreciate it."

もちろん”君と”

We genuinely would appreciate it. I don't know why you're saying it like this.

あなた私で遊んでたの？！

Actually, if you guys could subscribe that would be great.

違うよ、僕はこの関係を

Yeah, "please subscribe." You guys, what's wrong?

”非常にまじめに”とらえてるよ

It's the way you're saying it, Rowan.

信じられない、私に隠れてゾーイと何回ヤッたのよ？

You're pissing me off.

僕の言ってることが聞こえないのか？