20、 Obama
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>> Greg: JOE BIDEN HAS HIT THE
ROAD WITH THE SLOGAN "NO
MALARKEY."
WHERE MY TROUSERS?
WHAT A TIME TRAVEL MACHINE IT I
IS?
OLD MEN WORE FOR DORIS AND
WORKED THROUGH HEART ATTACK.
THE LAST TIME MEN USED MALARKEY
AS AN ADJECTIVE, IT WAS PROBABLY
DESCRIBED AS GIVING THE RIGHT TO
VOTE FOR WOMEN.
SHOULD WE REMIND YOU THAT IT WAS
SOMEONE'S GRANDDAD WANDERING THE
HARDWARE STORE?
CLIPS LIKE THESE KEEP SURFACING.
>> BY THE WAY, I SIT ON THE
STAND.
I'VE GOT HAIRY LEGS THAT TURNED
BLONDE IN THE SUN.
I KID USED TO COME UP AND WATCH
THE HAIR COME BACK UP AGAIN.
I LEARNED ABOUT ROACHES.
I LOVE KIDS JUMPING ON MY LAP.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Greg: THAT WAS FROM TWO
YEARS AGO.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS,
BUT THAT'S JOE.
EVERY STORY SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM.
A COLLECTION OF WORDS RELEASED
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER OR NO
KNOWN LANGUAGE.
HE STILL UP IN THE POLL.
HOW DOES HE TURN IT AROUND?
MAYBE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO.
THE FACT IS, BIDEN ISN'T REALLY
THE PARTY'S NOMINEE.
IMPEACHMENT IS.
THEY MIGHT GET TRUMP OUT OF
OFFICE, WITH OR WITHOUT GRANDPA
WAVING HIS CANE.
HE WILL HAVE PLENTY OF JOB
BREAKERS TO GIVE TO THE KIDS,
EVEN IF THEY SMELL LIKE MOTH
BALLS.
FIND OUT IF ANYBODY KNOWS WHAT
MALARKEY MEANS.
>> JOE BIDEN HAS LAUNCHED A NO
MALARKEY TOUR.
WE WANTED TO ASK, WHAT IS
MALARKEY?
>> I HAVE NO CLUE.
>> IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF JUNK.
>> I HAVE NO IDEA.
>> THAT'S A BIG WORD.
I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE WILL BE
ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT ONE.
>> OF MALARKEY IS SOMETHING THAT
MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE, BUT IT'S
ENHANCED.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
FIGURE IT'S A CRAZY PHRASE THAT
JOE BIDEN IS USING TO HELP HIM
GET ELECTED.
IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.
>> WHAT IS MALARKEY?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA.
>> THAT'S HOGWASH.
>> I DON'T HAVE A CLUE.
>> MALARKEY.
HOW WOULD YOU SPELL THAT?
>> Greg: HOW WOULD YOU GRADE
THE MAN ON THE STREET?
[LAUGHTER]
>> Jesse: I THOUGHT IT WAS
FINE.
I'M JUST ENJOYING WATCHING A
FIELD PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN
HAPPEN IN REAL TIME.
THIS IS WHAT WE ARE WITNESSING.
I THINK WE JUST NEED TO TAKE A
MOMENT AND ENJOY THE MOMENT,
BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT A FEELING
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN LOOKS
LIKE.
AT LEAST HE'S DOING IT WITH
MALARKEY.
HE IS KNOWN AS OF A GOOFY,
BACKSLAPPING THROWBACK.
HE KIND OF PLAGIARIZED THE
JOHN McCAIN STRAIGHT TALK
EXPRESS.
HE'S DOING THE BEST HE CAN.
BUT WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT THE
RECORD PLAYER, OR FLIPPING
COUPONS, EVERYBODY IS LIKE
WEIGHT, IS THIS GUY IN TOUCH
WITH REALITY?
THE CLIP YOU PLAYED ABOUT KIDS
STROKING HIS LEG CARE AT THE
POOL, THERE'S A PHOTOGRAPH OF
HIM SUCKING ON HIS WIFE'S
FINGER.
IT'S REALLY WEIRD.
THEN, YOU SEE THE PICTURE OF HIM
TRYING TO GET THE ATTENTION OF
THE GUY AT THE DINER AND THE
GUYS JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING
THE FOOTBALL GAME.
NO IDEA THE VP IS THERE.
THIS GUY IS WAY OUT OF TOUCH.
TRUMP IS UP ON EVERYTHING.
>> Greg: JUAN, I THINK YOU
NEED TO POINT OUT THAT HE IS
STILL COMMANDING THE LEAD IN THE
POLL.
>> Juan: NO.
I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH YOU.
I AM SO UPSET, BECAUSE I'M A
GRANDFATHER AND YOU ARE GOING
AFTER HIM AS A GRANDFATHER.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, AWESOME OLD
FOLKS, WE ARE STILL IN THE GAME.
BUT ANYWAY, SO WHAT, YOU WOULD
HAVE HER PURRED
PREFERRED HORSE FATHER
IT WAS A HITCH.
REPORTERS THOUGHT IT WAS AN
OPPORTUNITY TO GET TIME WITH THE
CANDIDATE.
I THINK, I THINK REPUBLICANS ARE
WORRIED ABOUT JOE BIDEN.
>> Jesse: DO I LOOK WORRIED,
JUAN?
>> Juan: HE'S UNDERGONE ALL
THESE ATTACKS ON UKRAINE, ON HIS
SON, AND HE STILL DOING GOOD.
>> Katie: WELL, HE'S NOT DOING
SO WELL IN IOWA.
HE IS TRAILING BEHIND PETE
BUTTIGIEG, ELIZABETH WARREN,
BERNIE SANDERS.
LOOK, HE IS TALKING TO HIS
PEOPLE.
YOUNG PEOPLE DON'T DRIVE OUT TO
VOTE.
OLDER PEOPLE DO.
PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THE TERM
MALARKEY MEANS ARE GOING TO BE
VOTING FOR HIM.
I ACTUALLY THINK IT'S A GOOD
MOVE, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT MEANS, YOU CAN GOOGLE AS
A YOUNG PERSON AND FIND OUT WHAT
IT MEANS.
BUT FOR HIM.
HE SHOULD STOP WITH THE LEG CARE
STORY.
>> Greg: I'M PRO MALARKEY.
>> Dana: I LIKE OLD SAYINGS.
CORNY JOKES.
OKAY, I THINK HE MAY BE COULD
GET THROUGH IOWA.
LET'S SAY HE DOES.
HIS VICE PRESIDENTIAL CHOICE
WILL BE REALLY IMPORTANT.
WHAT DID JOHN McCAIN TRY TO
DO?
HE WENT WAS SOMEBODY YOUNGER.
LIKE A GENERATIONAL CHANGE.
HE WENT WITH SARAH PALIN.
OBVIOUSLY IT DIDN'T WORK FOR
THAT CAMPAIGN, BUT IT DID GIVE
HIM A BOOST.
PERHAPS, WHAT JOE BIDEN IS
THINKING, THIS IS MAYBE WHAT
THEY ARE THINKING.
DEMOCRATS NEED SOMEBODY TO BE IN
A HOLDING PATTERN FOR 2020,
BECAUSE THEY CANNOT FIGURE OUT
WHAT THEIR AGREED-UPON COALITION
IS UNTIL --
IT'S NOT GOING TO GET RESOLVED
IN 60 DAYS BEFORE THE IOWA VOTE.
SO, PERHAPS BIDEN CALMS THE SEA
IS, IT GETS THROUGH ONE TERM
UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT WHAT
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Gutfeld on Joe Biden's malarkey tour

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林宜悉 2020 年 1 月 2 日 に公開

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