[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, OF ALL THE

MANY RELATIONSHIPS WE AS HUMANS

HAVE, MOTHER IS PROBABLY THE

MOST COMPLICATED.

I MEAN, WE COME OUT OF THEM.

THAT'S WEIRD, RIGHT?

AND SO TO HONOR THE FASCINATING

WOMEN WHO BAKED US, WE INVITED

FAMOUS PEOPLE TO READ TEXT

MESSAGES FROM THEIR MOTHERS.

THESE ARE REAL TEXTS FROM REAL

MOTHERS, FROM REAL PEOPLE YOU

KNOW AND LOVE.

ENJOY.

>> MY DEAR ANNIE.

I HOPE THIS DOESN'T WAKE YOU.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW

PROUD YOUR FATHER AND I ARE OF

YOU.

AS YOU KNOW KNOW, WE TRULY

BELIEVE YOU ARE THE GREATEST

ACTRESS OF YOUR GENERATION.

WE DO SOMEDAY HOPE YOU

TRANSITION INTO DRAMATIC WORK.

I ALSO WOKE UP BECAUSE I'M

WORRIED YOU'RE NOT WEARING

ENOUGH SUNSCREEN AND TAKING THE

B-12 I GOT YOU FROM A COSTCO.

I HOPE THIS DOESN'T WAKE YOU.

PLEASE GIVE ALLISON JANNEY OUR

LOVE AND CONGRATULATIONS.

NO ONE DESERVES THE OSCAR MORE

THAN HER.

3:34 A.M.

>> I SIMPLY CAN'T BELIEVE TRUMP

WENT THROUGH ALL THIS TO KEEP

STORMY DANIELS QUIET.

HE MUST HAVE A VERY SMALL

PEANUT.

PEANUTS.

PENIS.

SORRY.

I HATE THIS PHONE.

>> SO EVERY YEAR I'LL SEND MY

MOM A CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT TO PUT

ON HER CHRISTMAS TREE, AND THIS

MOST RECENT ONE SHE GOT, IT TOOK

A PICTURE OF IT ON THE TREE AND

THIS IS WHAT SHE WROTE.

THANK YOU, JACK.

HOPE YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE

IT IN PERSON.

>> SIMON HELLBERG.

HOLY [ BLEEP ].

BRILLIANT WORK IN FLORENCE

FOSTER JENKINS.

IS IT OKAY FOR A GRANDMA TO

LUST?

SURE.

JUST YOU TRULY DO NOT NEED TO

TEXT ME ABOUT IT.

>> SO KEENAN DAEQUAN RAY

[ BLEEP ] JACKSON.

I WANT THIS 100K CAR FOR MY

50th.

I'M YOUR MOM.

>> KEENAN DAEQUAN RAY MOTHER

[ BLEEP ] JACKSON.

I WANT THAT CAR.

>> MAN, YOU KEEP [ BLEEP ] UP

BECAUSE LIKE YOU SAYING TOO

MUCH.

>> OH, OKAY.

>> HEY, KRISTEN.

I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW JIMMY

KIMMEL.

AND HE'S DOING THE OSCARS.

SO TELL HIM TO GIVE YOU ALL THE

WINNERS SO YOU CAN GIVE ME THE

WINNERS AND I CAN WIN AT MY

OSCAR PARTY.

>> HEY, SON.

OUR NEW FRIENDS ARE LOVING

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

WE STILL DON'T GET IT.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

>> OH.

DEAR PATTON -- WHO AM I KIDDING?

MY MOM DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TEXT.

SHE ONLY CALLS ME ON A LANDLINE.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE VOICE

MESSAGES.

>> THIS IS JUST A SERIES OF

EMOJIS.

IT IS A SUN, A DOG, A FISH, A

CRAB, A BOAR, A CRAB, I THINK A

CAT, AND THEN THIS NUMBER OF

DUCKS.

AND A BEE AT THE END AND DUCKS.

AND THEN ONE ADDITIONAL ONE WITH

JUST ALL DUCKS.

>> MY MOTHER TEXTED ME LAST

WEEK.

BABY, YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR

MOTHER'S DAY?

I SAY, WHAT, MA?

SHE SAID, I WANT A ROOM IN

VEGAS.

I WAS LIKE, OKAY, I'LL TAKE CARE

OF IT.

THREE DAYS LATER I JUST WAKE UP

TO A TEXT THAT SAYS, GET HOTEL.

WORKING ON IT, MAMA.

NEXT DAY, TELL ME WHERE IT IS.

MAMA, I'M WAITING ON APPROVAL.

ALL RIGHT?

SO IF ANYBODY WANTS TO GO TO

VEGAS AND SEE MY MOTHER, SHE'S

STAYING AT ROOM 1337 AT THE

MANDALAY BAY HOTEL.

SHE'LL BE THERE SATURDAY NIGHT.

LOVE YOU, MAMA.

>> WELL, LISTEN, YOU KNOW WHAT?

EVERYONE'S MOM IS CRAZY.