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-What a show we have tonight.
Madonna is in the house, tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome. Have a seat. Relax.
Guys, tomorrow is the official start of summer.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm excited. I'm excited.
I'm very excited, but my legs are still so pale.
-Really? [ Laughter ]
-They are so white, I mean,
I've nicknamed them Utah and NPR.
I mean --
[ Laughter ]
My legs are so white they could have their own show on Fox News.
-Really? -Yeah, absolutely.
Let's get to -- Let's get to some news here.
The big story right now is Iran.
Yeah, apparently this morning Iran shot down a U.S. drone.
When they told the president, he was like, "Oh, my God.
They got Mike Pence?"
They go, "No, no." [ Laughter ]
"That drone -- That drone is fine.
That drone is fine. No."
That's right, Iran shot down an unmanned drone.
They said they wanted to send America a clear message.
But Trump was like, "Everyone knows if you want to send
the U.S. a message, you do it on Twitter."
[ Laughter ]
"Everyone knows that.
Big ratings. Wall."
[ Applause ]
It's getting serious though.
An Iranian general named Hossein Salami
said they're ready for war.
[ Light laughter ]
Trump's already got troops in Turkey ready for action,
but Putin's warning the White House against the conflict.
So if you're keeping track, we've got Salami and Turkey
on White, hold the Russian.
[ Laughter and applause ]
You're welcome, America.
[ Applause ]
Well, in the Oval Office today, Trump talked about
what happened, and he had a very interesting theory
about who was responsible. Check it out.
-I find it hard to believe it was intentional,
if you want to know the truth.
I think that it could have been
somebody who was loose and stupid.
[ Laughter ]
-Then he was like, "The only way to fight loose and stupid
is with tight and genius."
[ Laughter ]
When they heard Trump say loose and stupid, Eric and Don Jr.
Kramered into the Oval Office
and said, "You asked for us, Dad?"
[ Laughter ] Giddyup.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Loose and stupid. Duh, yeah.
[ Applause ]
Later, reporters asked Trump if the U.S.
is gonna strike back at Iran, and Trump said,
"You'll soon find out."
-Ooh. -That's reassuring.
The president is treating war with Iran
like a cliffhanger on "The Bachelorette."
It's like, we're gonna find out when we come back.
I saw last night, Trump called into "Sean Hannity Show"
on Fox News and at the end of the show,
after the president had talked for 45 minutes,
Hannity had a little trouble getting him off the phone.
Watch this.
-I want to get along with China, and I think we will.
I'm meeting actually both of them next week in Japan and --
-Let me, Mr. President --
-I think it's important that the United States get along.
You know, the United States was paying for NATO.
-Mr. President --
-You had a lot of countries that were delinquent.
I think we're gonna have a -- -Mr. President --
-I hope we're gonna have a good relationship
but we're a very strong country again.
-I want to --
[ Laughter ]
-"Mr. President.
Uh, sorry, sir.
The show is going through a tunnel.
We're losing you."
[ Laughter ]
It continued till 3:00 in the morning.
I was up late that night. -Really?
-Watch what I saw last night.
-What's happened to the Democrats,
and in the meantime -- -He's still talking.
He can't stop talking.
-Wow.
-He wouldn't stop.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Speaking of the president, I saw that he's on the cover
of the newest issue of "Time" magazine.
Here it is.
It says, "My whole life is a bet."
It's better than the other headline they considered,
"Here's me, and everyone who still works at the White House."
-Wow. [ Laughter ]
-And finally, this is very interesting.
A police department in California
just unveiled the new addition to its force.
Take a look.
-The city of Huntington Park
deploying its very own robotic officer to monitor
public outdoor areas like parks.
[ Light laughter ]
-Actually -- Actually talks too,
the robot can say "Freeze,"
and "Please stop throwing trash in me."
It's a -- It's a trash can.
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Trump Responds to Iran Shooting Down a U.S. Drone

118 タグ追加 保存
劉重佑 2019 年 7 月 16 日 に公開
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