Those were the days.

Where to start?

Well, I'm the Devil.

I basically invented daddy issues,

waged a war and then got banished to rule Hell.

Decided I needed a little vacay.

So I came here to Los Angeles,

which, may I tell you, is no city of angels

and exactly what I was after.

Your return to the underworld has been requested.

Remind Dad that I quit Hell

because I was sick and tired of playing a part in his play.

I bought a bar,

had a wonderful time partying with my demon friend, Maze,

annoying my brother, Amenadiel, which I have to say was half the fun.

And you, my feathered friend, can go to hell.

But then something unexpected happened.

I got mixed up in a murder,

and helped an LAPD detective solve the case.

Detective Chloe Decker.

I told her I was the Devil, but she didn't believe me.

They never do.

I have the ability to draw out people's forbidden desires.

I got it. I got it. The name. The whole Lucifer thing.

-And desire's like your superpower. -It's more like a gift from God.

There's something special about the detective.

She's the only human I've ever met

who's completely immune to my devilish charm.

I will never ever sleep with you.

Playing hard to get, I like it.

-When hell freezes over. -I can arrange that, actually.

Get in the car.

Anyway, with the help of my therapist, Dr. Linda...

I know, so LA.

I found a way to keep working alongside the detective

and her douche of an ex-husband, Dan,

and a rather lovely forensic scientist called Ms. Lopez.

Just make out already and get it over with.

Past couple of years, we've been through a lot.

You're going to send me into the life of Charlotte Richards?

Deal with it, Mother!

Maze...

became a bounty hunter.

I was bored, had nothing to do.

Amenadiel lost his wings, then got them back

and flew a good friend of ours up to Heaven.

But I know what you're really thinking.

"Has that detective finally realized that she's madly in love with me?"

Well, I think she nearly did,

but then she saw my true face.

Proof that indeed I am the Devil.

So grab a drink. You'll need one.

The fun's just begun.

There's no hiding.