all right [soon] yeah, I

Want to get a gun I?

Told him. I really do I never had that feeling before so I moved out to Los angeles

The city just messes with your mind. You know so but populated, technically doesn't have a water supply

Right the dollars crashing shit keeps you up at night. You [just] [thickened] what am I doing the SAmba scum. I?

Start reading up on shit get some powdered [food] plant some zucchini

Get a Windmill

right

And that's all well and good

But if you don't know how to fight all you're doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy in the block

Right [think] about that what am I gonna? Do some dude turns me upside down starts shaking the gold coins out of my pockets I?

[Gotta] get a gun

So I'm on the road right. I'm in Reno

great gun Town

Coming out in a little gun store, right come walk into some redneck down like a man

I don't want to get a gun like I hear you what you looking [for] what you want mossberg over on merit

357 Magnum right such rattling off all this gibberish

[all] right, [I] don't know shit. [I'm] trying to play it off. I feel like a bitch cuz I don't know anything about guns

Feels like what do we do here?

Hello, I'm in both honesty. I don't look dude. I know anything about guns they terrify me, but I'm worried about the zombies

Dudes, just like you need a shotgun

Shotgun man, it's got a good spread

[Cz] the Low doesn't have a lot of working parts got a good spread. He kept saying that it's got a good spread

Like what does that mean you could love me you ain't gotta be too accurate

Get it good spread farther way you are and the more shit you it?

Got a good spread. Thank you got a problem over here. You now look at this room wow it

got a probably ready for

Anything no, it's even remotely a problem. Ain't there anymore trust me, and then these people here

They saw what you just did here. You ain't got a problem harry

Graves taking care of right there one shot these people get smart flipping over [wow], it's it's friends

Don't like laughs am I yourself I'm like dude look I just want to shoot the guy

I don't think do a bunch of drywall work. Yeah

Reframe my diploma get my parakeet another friend. Yeah, I

Just want to shoot the guy. I'm like [another] one. He's pistol. So he does like that classic like that redneck trailing off thing like

[I] know, I just [met] here corner here

It is shiny one

Feels like the what's wrong with getting a pistol you guys. I'll tell you what buddy cuz life life ain't a movie

You feel me

Like now can you please stop speaking and these backwards riddles?

Can you just say what you're saying I told you? I don't know shit about guns come on. Do me solid here with

Those look if you're watching movie kaka blah blah blau he keep kill sweet people real laughs man. You miss you, miss all fuckin time

You miss enough [fans], man you miles you're acting miles would you stand there with big Stapler here?

Man what you gonna? Do I was like well fuck it. Let's get the shotgun

He's [already] to box the thing up, and then I'm like wait [a] minute. I live with my girl

I can't [you] show up [with] [a] shotgun, [right]?

[that's] not some shit. You can just come home with I

Found this stool on the side of the road I can come on with this look at it. We we can refinish it

We can carve our initials today. We did a good time, right?

You show up with a shotgun. I got it for us I

Went Barrel for you one for me now

So see Kibosh is the whole thing

So the other night somebody broke into our car sitting in the driveway

Starts fucking with her head right so she starts reading up on guns

You know she's reading too much cuz now she wants to get one but she's just like well

I heard you got to keep the bullets in this day keep the stock in the garage

And then what then when I run around the house and assemble it if some dudes chasing me with an axe

They don't even thinking this thing through sweetheart running around with where's the stuff. It's in the living room in the living room

Forgetting this thing. I want that fucking thing loaded right on the bedroom wall right there. I'll put that into my gym gym sleep

Just like that

No, other point

That's funny though when you talk about getting a gun. You know people like they eat. It totally forward or completely against it

You [know] [either]. Go nuts and start screaming, right?

well

They start sawing off those stats actually you increase your chances of getting shot by 80% your second you get a gun in the house

Really what cuz I'm going to load it and shower with it like

The fuck I know it's dangerous

You're gonna pull in your backyard [you'll] immediately increase your odds of drowning in your backyard

right

You couldn't do that before now. You step on a rake and you go

No telling you. I don't buy any of that shit

Stats are so fucking stupid now

Now that this stupid. It's the way people apply them you're any of your mind made up

And then you go - I'm right calm you start memorizing a bunch of shit, and [you] [try] just throw it up at people

Guy trying to get me to go Scuba diving [like] I'm not going. I don't want to get Eaten by a shark

[he's] like well actually 90% of shark attacks actually happened in Shallow water. It's like no shit. It's where the people are

No, the beach

90% of people are frolicking along the coastline

These people swim [into] Europe [Gonna] [Iceland] your pussies

I

Don't know

But actually I actually like Los angeles one of the few east coast people that likes it all my [moron]

New York friends and Boston friends that come out there try to get a good slice of pizza at 4:00 in the morning

They can't boys fucking play sauce

It's not it's like exactly where I left. What's the point of traveling if it's Gonna be different?

So fucking stupid get a burrito and go on a hike [what's] wrong with you

You're gonna go to Hawaii. There's no pause hockey. Just place socks [I]

Got to admit the only thing that freaks me out

About Los Angeles is all a plastic surgery. I don't get it

Why do people [get] plastic surgery you know why can't you just admit? It's over

You know you had your time stop trying to look fuckable in your 50s

Weird their faces yank back look at all shiny, right?

Not to mention they haven't even figured enough

You know why would you get a facelift? Can't you look at other facelifts and realize they haven't worked all the bumps out yet?

Like that's what you want to look like like you just lost the fight three days ago

Don't be a hero [let] somebody else go in there take the fucking beat you you lay back

Wait it out

[they're] [just] lying to people. I know let's go. Let's go put a little ice on [it]

[we'll] [see] [in] a couple weeks. I take it easy

Jesus Christ, what the fuck up?

We followed every step did we miss something? Oh?

Oh, you're cheeky sweetie keys there you go there you go [olsen] recognizes start yelling all right. Take it easy

[you] gone [on] she's Gonna write shred everything shred it

Now you're nuts

You wait it out. Let him figure it out, then you're fucking going don't be a goddamn hero. You know

Look at hair plugs hair plugs. Don't look half bad now

So this guy the other night on TV. They got God it wasn't good this ten years ago. It's like. No, you don't

Ten Years ago when they were stapling ant legs to the top of people's heads

Go ahead your eyes would water looking at their hairline like it this

Soon and I see fights are

They still put you in like a headlock hold still you like a nail gun

Pull step guys would tap out after a row and a half fuck it. Okay shit

[you] wish you got hair plugs [10] years ago. Do you wish you got Polio 60 years ago?

What else is on [your] wish list sir?

Now you know fuck with your face

okay, I

Understand liposuction they screw that up. You can put on a shirt, right?

There's no shirt for your face

What do they [think] they're fooling but this stupid you know and then you [lied] yourself?

I'm just gonna do that you can do this just kidding just kidding you can have this done

No, you're not you know what you you're just gonna wax the fender on your car

And [that's] it the rest of it [look] so shitty for me. [where'd] you see the hood maybe a through the back?

That's out happens. You look like one of those real housewives Lee face all twisted up

Fucking idiots hey do I look bad idiot?

Don't look like I'm in my 20s. No you look weird you look fucking

weird

You still look like you're in your 50s. I just can't guess what year anymore because I've never seen that year

I've never seen that shiny fucking look. It's almost like you discovered a new age between 52 and 53

Yeah

People there's nothing wrong with being 52 and looking 52 all right you 52 he didn't get fucked. Yeah

What would you rather be 52 and look 52? I'll be 52 and look like a 28 year old lizard

That's your option at this point

It was really really like actually embarrassing is that the facelift that's predominantly a white problem

You notice that I've never seen a black person with a facelift ever

Other than I like the Jacksons, but they're all out of their minds, right

[cuz] [a] dad made him rehearse all day [and] sleep on the fireplace

Like jamming on the [Yeah-heah] [Bastok]. No hugs no kisses

His face permanently twisted out from 50 years of screaming saying [motherfucker]

It's understandable with them

And you know why so many whitey [sneed] faceless? I love that word. I'm trying to bring it [back] I

Love it. It's funny what?

You know what do you want? So many caucasians need faceless cuz we don't know about lotion

[it] only half of you laughs that should have been everybody

Yeah, but a lot of you was sitting there like well, what a Bob Lowe's

What is this lotion you speak of and what is the Magic Gary?

Just to put it out there you can use lotion on other parts of your body besides your dick

Yeah

You ever wonder why you did still looks Brand-new?

But the rest of you is starting to look like an aging pirate

[but] you need to increase the circumference of the lotion distribution. Oh

You got skin everywhere. [oh]

Check yourself out

bottom of your feet look like a prehistoric riverbed

That's not part of the natural aging process you dry it out

I'm not judging you

Not judging anybody

[I] don't know anything about lotion never use it the first 33 is my life never use it the one night

I was [going] out with this black girl, all right

She was getting ready, and she's just putting that shit on everywhere slap turn it on

Let's see how like a rash or something

Okay, I poison ivy. [I] [don't]

[know] just making [sure] that a she

Is it a she?

She goes dry skin

knowing Mom [I]

Guess I freaked her out a little bit. I [was] like ah

See they were white people get ashley - I was like [yeah], you know I don't think we go

I'm gonna live for 33 Years known as episode. She

And I heard that word until you said it

Feels like you're an idiot stick out your arm

So I stick out my ramen ever so gently she just drives her nails down the slope starts coming up

It's like pastry pike's flying off track marks [signing] her name

Pickasee that she possessed a shit your action freaked me up like oh shit. Oh, man, I

Didn't know anything about it. All I knew was that. I always got itchy in the winter

[I'm] trigger now. [I] always get into the er with a fuck to make it itchy [I] thought it went the [bastile] was dirty

That's what I thought, and I would change it down and put a fresh one now. I'm gonna be okay

Take a shower dry on fucking itching again damn. I hate the winner

See that that's why you got to hang out with everybody

Yeah, there's too much information in the world and every group of people misses a little bit

white people totally missed the lotion seminar at

Some point in history. I don't [know] it's because we can't see it. You know

Black people - she looks like they like leaned up against a chalkboard or something no I can see it

They miss it their friends [help] them out like let your ashy mother fucking elbow. What is wrong with you? Hey

We missed that shit the way black people missed the [hole] register your weapons summit

Just having that the information

You might [have] rappers who've been busted for the unregistered glock in the car. Just lost my mind

Like why would you do that to yourself? You just want to make an album over the phone? Is that what it is

And like [I] [knew] auto-tune - some shit, I don't know

Breaks my heart every time I see it. I just think God if he just had one white friend

Just had one white friend in his entourage who would've been sitting there going like nothing registered

You out of your mind

Legal looks like fucking three to five mandatory

[hoodie], I do not know that. That's the question. How do you not fucking know that?

unregistered weapon in the car that which is good if I'm driving around it just

ridiculous

See there you go all right. You [don't] need a facelift. Okay. Lay off the booze do some cardio

Moisturize you're Gonna be fine

They don't believe in these myths black. Don't crack. It's bullshit. They all put lotion on like every 20 minutes during [bakes] ridiculous

Don't get a giant oil drum of this shit at home every morning. They wake up

They dump themselves in it shake themselves off walk out the door absolutely glistening

listening

White guys like me you're walking around. No hat on let's go sailing

Passing out face [down] in the sand

Speaking of no booze a man I've been I've been really trying to clean up my act

As far as that booze and [pink] ghost just really been laying off it. You know I

Don't know what [his] fucking head gets big

If you get older you know you keep booze and you start getting that Big Alec Baldwin John Travolta head

And you know notice stuff is every day you're brushing your teeth, and you're seeing your head and just get a little bit bigger

Keep drinking, and [I'll] [have] another one [right] then one day

You're gonna take [that] cell phone picture

And you're just like [6] inches in front of everybody else. Don't think it's a big deal

Have you leaned in [cuz] you're feeling good right? Then I'll say look at the pictures like yeah