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  • Welcome, to Rome Total Waragain. I was hoping this series would encourage French

  • youtubers to respond with their own videos. But they've all run away.

  • However, German Total War Youtuber, Kalimo, made a video of him invading Britain. And

  • he's translated it into English, just for you. Enjoy!

  • TWO kliksphilip wanted to crush the Gaul only with peasants

  • ... and succeeded.

  • But even if a victory over France is commendable, he angered us, the Germans.

  • I couldn't let that sit on me. How could I take a sweet revenge?

  • Hmmmmm

  • I decided to destroy the british. Since they had already weakened themselves with the Brexit

  • anyway I did not want to waste german lifes on them.

  • Instead I would rely on hordes of mercenaries who live in the woods and steppes...and smell

  • very bad.

  • But this goal would be much harder to achieve than I thought.

  • In Rome Total War mercenaries can only be recruited in small numbers in some regions

  • and cost a lot of money [GER coll.: coal]

  • Sure, you could ask RWE [German energy company] and they would cut down a forest.

  • But in the year 270 B.C. you had to build roads and markets to ensure a stable income.

  • In addition the local mercenaries were quickly harvested so the family was forced to march

  • all over the area.

  • Arminius the old and very much valued but beardless leader marched west.

  • His son Arigo---Arioga---Ariogaisus who had more beard marched southward

  • And ol' Hermann with his remarkable moustache and nice blue face color headed to the eastern

  • regions.

  • All of them with one goal.

  • Recruit bloodthirsty warriors who should help to get respect from the snobbish Brits.

  • But first a flashing, probably very wise woman annoyed them without saying a word.

  • Until she disappeared mysteriously.

  • Until she disappeared mysteriously. [Adviser: Off]

  • As if she were a messenger a disaster came over us. The honorable Arminius died before

  • he had seen the british border

  • Some would blame his age or the strain of his mission. Though it was obvious that he

  • displeased the gods.

  • It was a shamefull misdeed not to wear facial hair. So he was killed by nothing less than

  • the wrath of the gods.

  • Immediately the furious red haired Rolf, an experienced "Doppelkopf" player, took over

  • the march. While Hermann and Arigo---Arioga---Ariogaisus

  • moved further on their paths.

  • To save money I disbanded the brave german soilders and allowed them some quiet remaining

  • years with their families and friends

  • with whom they sat happily in their gardens and grilled some wild boars.

  • It was a good and easy life for all native germans. And it became even better after an

  • alliance with Gaul (France) was announced.

  • However, the first armies dressed in blue approached and Rolf wanted to oppose them.

  • But he lacked some men.

  • In the East the recruitment of those men under the command of Hermann looked good.While Arigo

  • -Ario---A—

  • Screw it, let's call him "Peter".

  • While Peter went to Italy where nobody wanted to support the great plan.

  • The distance from the east was long and problematic because of that.

  • Would the troops get to western Germania in time and before the british would raid and

  • burn erverything?

  • Rolf couldn't wait any longer and so the first battle of Trier took place.

  • Omens were good. Rolf was supported by Roland.

  • But how much you rely on hasty recruited warriors? Would they defend Germania with their lives...

  • ...or drop their weapons at the first opportunity and flee to the next best sponsor?

  • Instead of wearing red clothes like the german soldiers the mercenaries dressed themselves

  • in fancy green.

  • Which also inspired the framerate!

  • The green horsemen were able to confuse the light enemy units and shortly after the foot

  • soldiers arrived the enemy general died.

  • After that the Brits pulled back like they did with their EU-membership

  • Rolf and his men pursued them to butche...to play cards with them!

  • Rolf gained his first great victory over the blue jacks.

  • The word of this victory spreaded and Rolf got a visit by the twin of his armorsmith

  • who coincidentaly was a mercenary captain

  • So Rolf took him into his retinue.

  • Well aware that he would mix the two from now on but also benefit from their abilities.

  • In summer 266 B.C. an old acquaintance appeared again. She was nearly forgotten but as soon

  • as you remembered her you knew exactly who she was.

  • This time she came in a different shape. She also had a name.

  • The mysterious flashing woman became: Ashley

  • Who was this woman?

  • Why did she travel the far way from Canada to Germany?

  • Did she want to warn Rolf and his brothers? Why?

  • But Ashley remained silent. And as fast as she came, she disappeared again.

  • For whatever reason. [User is blocked]

  • It was no problem she distracted only from the important things.

  • Trier was again targeted by thebluetrousers' and this time Rolf saw himself confronted

  • with an army nearly thousand men larger than his. In addition he wasn't supported any

  • longer by Roland but by Civilis.

  • However, the greater the enemy the greater was Rolfs motivation to destro...to invite

  • them to a game of cards.

  • In the same hilly ground where Rolf already won big, a splitted army awaited him.

  • Like a clever commander, who he of course was, Rolf crushed the little one first and

  • then headed towards the bigger one.

  • Which had dangerous chariots in it. But Rolf was not afraid. Sometimes he was afraid of

  • his sister in law which got even more facial hair than Rolf himself.

  • But that doesn't matter.

  • It didn't take long until these pigs ran away and their chariots went to the junkyard.

  • One thing however surprised Rolf.

  • As he followed the fleeing cowards it felt like something supernatural held him back.

  • Like the wargod wanted to say to him that he should show mercy and let some of them

  • alive so that they could report their countrymen how cruel Rolf fought.

  • And how he alway had an ace up his sleeve during a card game.

  • So he stayed still.

  • Which nevertheless blessed him his second great victory!

  • Soon after that, Peter came back from his trip to Italy with only one unit of mercenaries

  • and some olives in his baggage.

  • He came to Rolf and took over the command because HE was the leader.

  • Rolf wasn't excited but he swallowed his grief because there were more important things

  • to deal with.

  • Behind my back Britannia and Gaul forged an alliance and because of that the French broke

  • their alliance with us.

  • Slowly I realise why you could hate them.

  • Now Peter was allowed to fight his first battle with Rolf at his side and thousands of men

  • under his banner. Which gained an easy victory.

  • And a second one shortly after.

  • Peter an Rolf were able to march towards the first british settlement on the continent

  • to besiege it. But the blues did not liked that idea. First

  • of all the very blue Belenus who was not only called that because of his face collor. [Drinker]

  • Even though his Men wore no tops in Winter and tinkled with their shield

  • They were overrun.

  • Samarobriva was ours!

  • At this time Hermann came back from the eastern regions to the western front.

  • Jung Siegfried took over his job. With blond hair and blue eyes he was the perfect candidate

  • for the east ;)

  • Ambistious as he was he recruited his first Horsemen at the age of 19. As early as nobody

  • ever before. His whole life was still in front of him and

  • he never saw a battle.

  • Different to Peter and Rolf who, after the siege of a frensh settlement, had to deal

  • with its angry leader and his remarkable bigger army.

  • Peter and Rolf won but the casualties were high. Rolf lost some of the best soldiers

  • of his bodyguard and the other troops were also heavily damaged.

  • Almost at the same time but far more to the east Jung Siegfrie was attacked and immediately

  • proofed himself as a worthy warrior.

  • That's why Dacia made an offer you could not refuse.

  • [Their offer: Accept or we will attack. Their offer: please don't attack]

  • Hermanns son also wanted some fame by the conquest of Bordesholm but he died during

  • the first charge.

  • Hermann couldn't deal with this loss and throw himself into a confusing forest battle

  • and met his maker aswell.

  • May they rest in peace.

  • Ships were built to finally reach the other side of the channel and instead of going for

  • Londinium Peter and Rolf went further into the back country.

  • And conquered it with ease because the local general went for a ride. Only the gates resisted

  • against the brave mercenaries.

  • What strange people are these Brits?

  • While the penultimate city was besieged some reinforcements wanted to cross the channel.

  • But were ambushed by a pirate fleet. A quick game of tennis later, our German ships were

  • torn to shreds and the mercenary reinforcements, drowned.

  • Was this the disaster Ashley wanted to warn us about?

  • Without the reinforcements P and R had to fight for Deva with their remaining soldiers

  • and won it after penalty shoot-out.

  • The path was clear and Londinium a stone's throw away.

  • And after a few months the day had come.

  • Again the purchased men dressed in green dominated. Again only the gates resisted.

  • And shortly before the battle was won, one man wanted to earn his fame.

  • Rolf himself went into battle to make the last british dog cr...to invite him to play

  • cards.

  • He fought like a berserker.

  • And fullfilled his mission.

  • Britain was defeated. Only with some purchasable soldiers and the will of the only true hero.

  • Rolf succeeded. He, unlike Hermann, had survived.

  • Should he retire now?

  • No….

  • Rolf

  • Wanted more...

  • Thanks again to Kalimo for taking the time to translate this video! Check out his channel

  • here for more Total War content.

  • Rolf's journey isn't over just yet ;)

Welcome, to Rome Total Waragain. I was hoping this series would encourage French

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    wei に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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