考えすぎるのはやめよう!大きな決断の仕方＆フォロースルーの始め方｜MarieTV ライブ・コールイン・ショー (Stop Overthinking! How to Make Big Decisions & Start Following Through | MarieTV Live Call-In Show)

字幕表動画を再生する

Hey, it's Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
and life you love. And this is our MarieTV Call In Show, because we call out to some
of you guys to take your questions live, and have a good time. If you don't know this handsome
gentleman right here, this is Gregory Patterson. Well, howdy.
See? This is why we love him. Not only is Greg one of my dear friends, but he's also
responsible for beautifying the hair. I love when when we look in the TV and try
to figure out which curl to fix. Yeah, cuz it has a life of its own. Anyhoo,
we are really excited to get started today, and thank you so much for watching. So let's
dive in with our first caller. Hello.
Hello. Is this Marie? Yes it is. Is this Marie?
Hi. It's Marie Forleo. How you doing? I'm doing good. What about you?
I'm doing great. Well, you are on live on the MarieTV live Call in Show. All of Team
Forleo is here, and we are really excited to talk to you. What's your question today?
Well, I'm an anthropologist. I specialize in the anthropology of health and indigenous
studies, and I love my job. I love what I – I love my work, but I've been struggling
with making a decision with the rest of my career. I don't know if I should do a PhD
in anthropology, or if I should pursue a dream that I've had since I was a little girl, to
be an astronaut. I had put that dream on the back burner several years ago because I had
glasses and bad vision, but now it turns out that I could get my vision corrected with
laser surgery. And ever since I had my kids two years and a half ago, I've been kind of
having this existential crisis. I don't know what I should do with my career and my life.
And it's been really hard to make a decision. Yeah. Well, first of all, congratulations
on your child. I'm so happy that you asked this question because this is something really
common. Not only that I've heard before, but I know people struggle with at so many different
points in their lifetime. And so I want to talk to you about a couple things.
First, by the way, I just got LASIK this year, and it is the best thing ever. I know some
people like, "No to the LASIK." I am like, "Yes to the LASIK.” So whether or not you
do it, I just want to tell you my experience was awesome.
Second of all, as it relates to your career and what we do in life, there's a quote that
has been attributed to Mark Twain that is one of my favorites, and I'll paraphrase it.
It's saying that we will regret more of the things that we don't do than the things that
we do. So, when it comes to the end of our life, we're going to look back and really
regret the things that we didn't go for, not the things that we tried. So I'm curious,
Marie, does that resonate for you? That quote? It does. And I mean, I do know that I think
I will regret it later in the future if I don't try to study to be an astronaut. If
I don't try to work towards it. At the same time, it's a hard choice because I do have
a PhD lined up for the fall, for next September. I have two great supervisors, and funding
opportunities, and I do like working in anthropology a lot. I would like to be a professor. And
it's hard to put that on the side, to start studies that will take several years. And
then, you know, the recruitment process to be an astronaut is extremely difficult. And
out of thousands of applicants they pick two to four every year. Not every year. Every
seven years. So that's why this decision is so hard to make. The chances that I will reach
my goal are slim at best, and I already do have a career that I enjoy. So that's why
it sucks. So, a little practicality. I know I'm interrupting
you, but I'm curious. You said a piece of information that I was unaware of, which is
that they accept applications every seven years. Is that correct?
Yes. Yeah. So, why not go kick some major freakin'
ass in your PhD now that you have that lined up, and also start kind of setting the pieces
in place so that the next round of seven years, whether that's coming up shortly, or it's
the one after that, that you dive in and give it your best?
Well, if I want to apply, I think the next process for recruitment is in five years.
I need to have at least a Bachelor's Degree, which is three years of study plus three years
of work experience to be eligible to be recruited. That means six years of work. So in theory,
even for the next recruitment process, I'm already late. And working on taking science
classes and doing a PhD in anthropology, while being a mother to twins. I have twin girls.
You know, it's a big investment. Sure.
Yeah. So that's why it's a very hard decision to make.
Okay. Even just by talking to you, I can hear in your voice, it sounds like you're actually
more committed to the PhD program than you are to the idea of being an astronaut. So
I'm curious. Would you just be willing to make a choice that like, “I'm going to go
kick ass in my PhD,” and it's not that you're, you know, disappointing yourself in this dream
of being an astronaut. You're making a proactive choice about what's best for you right now
as an adult woman. You know, this dream that you've had since you were small, right? Because
that's the one to be an astronaut. You had that dream, but you'd also didn't have the
life you have now, which is twin girls and a career that you keep telling us that you
love. So, what if the solution is actually about
setting yourself free, and embodying the dream for your life that you have in this moment
rather than one from the past? Sure. That makes sense. I guess.
I can hear your heart break. Well, here's the thing that I know, Marie. You continuing
to go on and torture yourself is not going to do you any good. It's not going to do your
girls any good, and it's not going to do yourself any good to go into this PhD process with
one foot in your astronaut dream, and one foot in the PhD, because you're going to torture
yourself for the rest of your life. And I don't think that's a great place to live,
and I don't think it's very useful. True, and I have been juggling with the decision
for several years, as I said. And it's a hard choice to make because it's such a big investment
to change careers at this point. You know, in both cases it's a sacrifice, so I guess
you're right. It's just about making a decision and moving on.
Yeah. I can hear the emotion in your voice and that's okay. Here's the thing, Marie.
Just because you're deciding not to go after the astronaut dream right now doesn't mean
that you won't find an opportunity, or a way, to work in that field in the future. You don't
know what's coming over the next five, 10, 15, or 20 years as it relates to both your
life, and as it relates to the sciences and how things are going to progress, the people
that you could possibly meet, or where your life can take you.
So what I want to help you avoid doing is just confining yourself to a very limited
idea of like what your life is going to be about, and really choose the PhD program from
a place of joy, and see how, who knows? You might engage with a space program a little
bit down the line. Sure. I mean, I think it makes sense and I
think it's a good attitude to adopt. I used to not worry so much about making decisions
like this, and it always worked out beautifully in the past. So, I've been –
Tell me about that. Wait. Wait. I'm interrupting. Before you go on, tell me more about that.
... well, I used to kind of like ride the wave. Surf the wave, I would say. I didn't
worry too much about decisions regarding my studies or my work. And it always seemed like
life was taking me where I needed to be. I would, you know, go on a trip and discover
I had an interest, and then choose to take some classes following that. Then, that led
me to anthropology, and then when I decided to do my Masters in anthropology, it was also
kind of like an quick decision on a whim, and it turned out great for me.
You know, several of the contracts that I've had, that I've done, have also been kind of
like surprise opportunities, and those worked out great. It's been the same for my personal
life, not just my professional life. It's just ever since having kids, I've been more
worried about the impact of my decisions. And riding the wave has been a little bit
more stressful, you know? I've felt like I had to make more strategic choices.
So, you've rode the wave your entire life and it turned out beautifully. And so right
now it feels like you're just on the precipice of perhaps a new adventure that can be even
more free than anything that you've experienced before. So I got one more question for you.
Really curious. How does it feel in your body if you imagine yourself gently releasing this
old idea of who you were supposed to be that you had as a little girl and embracing the
fullness of your magnificent life right now? How does that feel in your body?
It's a mix of stress, and joy, and freedom, I guess.
Does it make you excited to think about putting yourself totally into moving into this PhD
program, and knowing, and trusting, and having faith in the universe that this is the next
best step for you? I don't think I'm quite there yet.
Okay. I want to be.
And what's stressful about this decision? Well, it's not stressful to start the PhD
because I know I'm going to enjoy it. It's going to be a really interesting project.
What's stressful is closing the door on the project of you know, working in sciences,
and being an astronaut, because I know that it's time sensitive. I can't decide when I'm
55 to study to be an astronaut and go out in space. I could work in relations with the
space program, and space exploration. I could always do that in various ways, but if I want
to try to be an astronaut, I have to do it sooner than later.
Okay. So, just out of curiosity, what does it feel like to drop your entire career and
focus 100% on going through your astronaut dream? How's that feel in your body?
I mean, it feels exciting. I would be a little bit worried about it because I did take science
classes in the past, and although I loved it, it was a lot of hard work. What worries
me the most about it is the fact that I have responsibilities towards my kids and my husband
now. It's, you know, it would be a big investment. That's what's stressful about it, and time,
and money, and effort, but I guess it would be exciting.
And, are they behind you? Is your husband behind you if you wanted to go towards the
astronaut career? Yeah. He's ... I mean, whichever option I
choose. You're really interesting, Marie. You like
being in this state of having one foot in both places because, honestly, your voice
lightens up, and your energy lightens up when you're talking about going for your big dream
of being an astronaut. Just as a reflection. If you were lying on your deathbed and looking
back on your life, and your kids are healthy, and your husband was by your side, and you
knew you were about to pass, what do you see behind you?
Um, I would see that I had a really cool career in anthropology, and I tried to do a lot of
important work. And I would see that I didn't go for my dream and – of being an astronaut.
I would see that I had a great family and great kids and a great husband. And I had
the chance to travel a lot, which I'm grateful for.
So, when you look at not going for that astronaut dream, is it a big deal? Again, you're thinking
about this as really stepping into the last day of your life on Earth.
Yeah, I think so. You think it is a big deal that you didn't
go for it? Yeah.
Okay. Now try on a different future. What if you did go for it?
Well, I might or I might not succeed, but at least I would've tried.
Would you be proud of yourself for trying? Yes.
Would you be okay if it didn't work out? Yeah, because at least I would've given it
my all, you know. Interesting. Really interesting. How do you
feel now about moving forward? Is one more clear for you than the other?
Well, I think I do want to try to take science classes and see how it goes. And I think I
do want to try to get started on the track to you know, work towards being an astronaut.
Okay. I'm cheering. I'm holding my hands up. I know you can't see me. What is the next
step that you need to take in order to make this choice of becoming an astronaut come
to life? Well, I need to call the university in my
city and see which classes I have to take to be eligible to enter a program in sciences.
Okay, what's that going to take? Like 10 minutes? Uh, yeah.
Okay. I want you to do that and then write back to us and tell us how it went.
Okay, great. Cool?
Yeah. So, I'm basically talking to a future astronaut
right now, which is really, really exciting, Marie.
Yeah. Let's hope so.
Well, yeah, let's hope so, but more importantly, let's work towards it.
True. Awesome. Well, I don't know if this was helpful
for you, but I know I really enjoyed talking to you. And the one piece of advice I would
give you is to really get quiet, look within yourself, and, if this is what you want to
do, make the choice and stop torturing yourself with having one foot in one place and one
foot in the other because you're not doing yourself any favors. You're certainly not
getting closer to your dream of becoming an astronaut. And you're not getting yourself
on another path either. It's the indecision in life that kills us.
True. Thank you. This has been really, really useful.
You're so welcome. Please keep us posted after you make those calls. I'm going to ask Louise
on our team if Marie wrote back, and I'm really hoping for a yes.
Okay, I will. Awesome. Bye, darling.
Bye, have a good day. You too.
Hello? Is this Angela?
This is. What's up, Angela? It's Marie Forleo. How
you doing? Hi, Marie. How are you?
Oh, I'm so good. So you're on our live call-in show. We've got Team Forleo here, and I'm
really excited to see if we can help you. What's your question today, darling?
Okay, so I have a catering business. So my business is a product where I'm always having
to you know, purchase food. It's not like a one-time thing.
Yes. And, um, I really want to stick with quality
and not compromise. Where I live, I actually cater out of a really cool space. It's a two-story
art gallery. And part of the problem that I'm having now is the people that are local
are looking more for price, and they don't really care ... you know, they're not big
on quality and organic and grass-fed and things like that that I really believe in.
Yep. … and, at the same time, I'm really working
hard to try to get to more … I feel like their clientele will appreciate what we do.
Yep. So, I'm trying to figure out how do I not
compromise, but still stay in business with the people around me ... start attracting
the clientele that will get what we're doing. Got it. So, let me just – I'm going to
restate it because we have a little bit of audio challenge. So if I heard you correctly,
essentially you have this catering business. The area that you're in, you're super-focused
on high-quality, having things be organic and grass-fed. That's really important to
you, and you want to attract clientele that has those same values. And I'm assuming those
are going to be much different price points as well.
So, your question is around how do you take care of the clients you have now, while also
attracting the clients that you really want, which is a different clientele than you're
reaching? Is that right? Correct.
Yes, okay, awesome. So, Angela, this is something that a lot of people go through, all types
of creatives, all kinds of business owners. They get started, and you know, most of us,
when we're starting any kind of business, we take any clients that we can get. That's
how we get it all rolling. That's how you get money in the door. And then, as you start
getting traction, you become a little more discerning, and you understand who your ideal
clients are. So this is a transition that you absolutely
can make. I've seen many, many, many of our B-Schoolers do it across many different industries.
So it is a game of, first of all, taking care of your existing clients and giving them so
much love. The best, most enthusiastic, positive service that you possibly can, right, because
we never want to lose that. That's what you stand for. Those are your values.
And then, at the same time, carving out both mental space and the physical space of time
to set the intentions and start gently directing your business at the clients you want. Who
are those ideal clients? Once you know exactly who those ideal clients
are, it is really about scheduling and relationships. So what do I mean by scheduling? Setting aside
time in your calendar every single day, week, month, so you can start reaching out to those
people, getting yourself in front of them in terms of conferences, making phone calls,
sending emails, whatever you have to do to infiltrate the kind of market where you want
to become known and where you want to become the service provider of choice.
There's no set formula to do that. It's always about relying on our strengths. So for example,
in my career, whenever I've found people or looked out into the universe and said, "Wow,
I really want to be associated with them, I'd like to be friends with them, I'd like
to be colleagues with them," it was always a long-term game. I would identify the very
specific people, I'd pay attention to where they were going to be. I would attend those
conferences. And I would just build relationships. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen.
So it's about being intentional with your time, and it's also about doing the hard work
while also balancing taking care of those clients.
So, for you, I would really recommend getting very narrow and like, whether it's a particular
group of people that you're like, "God, those are the kind of people I would love to hire
me," and start having conversations with them. If it's about organizations you want to hire
you, like picking three to five and then start following them on social media, emailing them,
reaching out, seeing if you have a conversation with someone. It's really about those – just
getting the boots on the ground in terms of business building that you need to focus on.
But I see this as completely possible. It's just not going to happen overnight.
I love this. That's great. Do you have some people in mind? Like when
you think about potential clients that you're like, "Oh, wow, I would love them to hire
us for a catering job," are there five, 10, three people that come to mind?
Oh, yeah. Do you have relationships with them?
I have a list. Oh, you do have a list?
I do. I do have a list, and I have been little by little like going into the city to event
planner events where I know they're at and reaching out to them. It's just becoming a
little bit of a challenge getting them to come into where I'm at because where I'm at,
it's not like Hudson, New York, or New Paltz where it's like oh, you know, it's a place
where it's really talked about. Even though I'm right outside of the city, it's not a
real hip and trendy place. Like if I could take the building and move it to a different
location, I think things could go a lot smoother for me. So it's more like my location is not,
you know, in one of these hip and trendy places that people in the city are talking about,
so that's a little bit of my challenge. And so, just so I'm clear, you want people
to do events at that particular space? Yes, but we also do off-premise catering too.
Okay, because that's where I got a little bit confused because if it's off-premise catering,
it doesn't – nobody gives a shit where the hell you are, as long as you show up for
the food and it's damn good. Yeah, maybe I'm just focusing too much on
the location instead of just on my product. That's right. I don't give a shit. Like just
to be honest with you, I'm someone who's busy. Bring us good food.
And if I was looking for a caterer, I don't really care. You could be in a real cool space,
and I would be like, "Great, girl, that's awesome, but you know what I care about is
your kale chips are dope." I want to have that grass-fed beef and those sliders just
be like on frickin' point. I want you showing up with that quality, that great attitude.
I want to make sure that I have the best nutrition, everything is organic. You could show me pictures
on your phone of your gallery all day. I'd be like, "Uh huh, yeah, and where's my damn
food?" So, stop trying to get people out to this
great place, if what you really want to focus on is pleasing them. Put your attention on
them and where they want you to show up, whether it's in the city, whether it is in New Paltz,
you know, wherever we want to be. But that's what I would do if I was you. And I've been
on your site. Gorgeous.
Gorgeous. Gorgeous.
And you're gorgeous as well. Thank you. Thank you.
I was looking at them kale chips. I'm getting hungry. It's awesome.
Those kale chips though. Those kale chips though.
Yes. Exactly. All this great organic food, you
guys. And there's brownies. So it's Halo and Horns Catering. We'll put this at the bottom,
so people can come check it out. But, Angela, stop focusing on space. Start focusing on
the people. Thank you. This gave me a lot of clarity.
And I want to tell you I'm a student of B-School and The Copy Cure, and you get so much value
for the money. I feel like I never have to buy another thing. I just go back to one of
the courses and find what I need. I'm doing the Running Man right now. I'm doing
the Running Man. You'll see it. Angela, thank you. I had no idea. I didn't even know that
you were in our community, in our customer community, so thank you. And thank you for
those words. Yes.
I'm just telling you, your stuff looks incredible. Insane.
Like really, really insane. So focus on those relationships. Turn building relationships
into your full-time job when you're not taking care of your existing customers.
Okay. Thank you so much. This helped me a lot.
You're welcome, darling. Thank you. Bye, Angela. Okay. Bye, bye.
Don't cross this line. There's many lines that I do cross, especially
with you. Hello?
Hi! Is this Chrystal? This is Chrystal.
Hi, Chrystal. It's Marie Forleo, and you're live on the MarieTV call-in show. How you
doing? I am trying not to freak out. This is very
exciting for me. No, freak out. We're going to freak out. Greg,
come on, we're freaking out. Freaking out!
Okay, so we just freaked out with you and for you.
Oh my God! You can totally feel free to freak out too.
Well, I'm at my nine-to-five, so I have to keep it quiet.
Oh, you gotta keep it quiet. Okay, girl. She's like, "Girl, I'm gonna keep it quiet."
I just have to say, Chrystal, your voice is like tremendous. You have an amazing voice.
Just have to tell you that. Thank you. Thank you very much.
You're welcome. So Chrystal, tell us about your question, and we'll try and keep it together.
We'll try not to make you freak out since you're at your nine-to-five. Talk to us.
Well, my question to you, which I'm completely honored that I would even be considered for
this opportunity to speak to you, I am a chef from trade, and I have been a buyer for a
food service distributor for, I don't know, as long as I can remember, 10 years now.
And I would like to transition into something more at heart with my local community because
I have this amazing island that I live on. I live in the Cayman Islands. And I live in
Grand Cayman, which is the largest island in the Caribbean, the Cayman Islands Caribbean.
And my question to you: I love personal development, but I suck at follow-through. Total truth.
I am currently raising three young girls and want to model success by example. Having trouble
putting my great dreams of owning my own business as a restaurant and local agriculture consultant
into an action plan. What action triggers do you set to get your butt up and start making
it happen? Yes. All right, well, Chrystal, great question.
Thank you for everything that you shared. Just as a point of clarification, do you want
to start a restaurant, like a local restaurant, and also become an agricultural consultant?
Or are those two things – do you consider them one?
I want to consult restaurants. You want to consult restaurants, okay. Great.
Right. Okay, good. So, here's the big message that
I have for you, and this is for everyone. First of all, we're going to put links below
this episode, and I know you're a fan of the show, but sometimes you know, we've talked
about a lot of things over the years, and we have many episodes about follow-through.
And we're going to put those links because I want you to have those mo-fos on repeat.
So that's as a little aside. We're going to make sure that you get that.
But the big message I want to say to you, my friend, is simplify to amplify. One of
the challenges that people have when it comes to follow-through is they're always trying
to take on too many things. They're trying to do all the things at once, and then they
don't do anything but the bare minimum to just get through life.
So for you, I'm curious, Chrystal, if there was just one thing that you felt like you
could do each and every day to start bringing this dream of becoming a consultant to restaurants
to life, what would it be? I think build, meet the right – make the
right relationship connections, networking. Nice, yes. I'm going to stop you right there
because that's exactly where I was going to go with you too. Relationships, especially
when it comes to this business, are everything. Question: Do you have like a hit list of people
that you would want to develop relationships with locally?
I'm building it. Currently building it. Great. How many people do you have on it right
now? I would say probably about five. I wanted
to make it more like 100, I think. So, what you could do, Chrystal, is you don't
have to wait until you have that list of 100 people. Literally either today or tomorrow
morning, you could just start making phone calls and developing those relationships.
Like whoever those five people are, call them, email them, send them a DM on Instagram, send
them a smoke signal, go to their house, knock on their door, whatever you need to do and
say, "Hey, I'm going to take you out for some tea" or "I'd love to have some coffee." Whatever
you have to do to start getting into those conversations, do it.
Cool. The whole idea of starting before you're ready
is one of the concepts that has changed my life so drastically. Between that and simplify
to amplify ... so, the simplify to amplify thing is don't try and do too much. Don't
try and build some fancy-ass website. Don't try and get proposals together. And you know,
all these different things that people do that they think that they need in order to
launch a business. You don't need that. All you need is to make an offer to someone and
for someone to actually say yes. You don't need anything besides that.
The way that you're going to get to that place is, as you rightly said, through relationships.
So don't wait until you have 100 names. Start with the five that you got, and then keep
adding names on. For example, if I were you, I'd start knocking
on those doors virtually, metaphorically, physically. The first person that you talk
to, have a conversation. Ask them who else they know that they think you should talk
to. Does that make sense? Right. Yes, that makes perfect sense.
And do not let yourself overthink this. At all. That's one of the other places that we
all fall down. We overthink it. We want to get it perfect. We want to have everything
together. F*** that. It is so overrated. 20 years will go by, and then you'll be no closer
than you are right now. So. You're so right.
Pick up that phone. The action trigger is literally like, "I have to make these five
phone calls today." And that's your – that's the big thing for you to do for the day. And
the next day, next five phone calls. Next day, next five phone calls. Don't have this
huge long-ass plan. You don't need a big strategy. Your ass just needs to get in action.
I love it. Cool?
Yeah, I am on it. I'm so on it. Yes, okay. Will you promise me, Chrystal,
to keep us updated? You'll write to the team and let us know how it's going, and if you
need a little I cannot wait to –
… gentle but loving kick in the butt, we can give it to you.
Definitely, definitely. Greg, do you have anything to say to Chrystal?
I'm here with Greg, who you know if you're seen the show.
Hey, Greg. Hey. No, I can so relate to this because I'm
very, very similar. And I think it's just the overwhelming task of having so many tasks
or your what-to-do list is so large that you sit in a space of "Oh my gosh, what do I do?"
So to simplify to amplify, like ding, da, ding, ding, ding.
Yes. That little five-person list, even in my life,
I'm like, "Yes, I can handle five. I can do five."
Yeah. Yes.
And then those relationships, like sitting down talking with people like, “who else
do you know?” I would be so afraid to ask that question. But it's like, "Okay, that
could help build my list. Okay, that's easy." Yeah. So, Chrystal-
You got this. -you have everything. Right, you got everything
that you need right now. So we will follow up with those follow-up “how to follow through”
episodes, but honestly, girl, don't worry about action triggers. You get up, you do
it, you don't think about it, you do it again. Before you know it, your business is going
to be off and running. I am so excited.
Thank you for a great question. Thank you for choosing me. I love you guys.
All right. Love you back. Say hi to the islands.
Bye. Bye.
Well, everyone, there you have it. A few live Q's and A's. Greg, thanks for being with me,
as always. Thanks for having me again as always.
As always. Yes.
So for you, if you have questions that you want answered live, you gotta be sure to be
on the MF.com email list. You go to MarieForleo.com, and then you sign up for our emails. Not only
will you get a fantastic audio called "How To Get Anything You Want," you'll get some
exclusive content, special giveaways, personal updates from me that I don't share anywhere
else, and the chance to be on the show live, which I think is really fun because we do
have parties, and we throw confetti. Lots of confetti.
Just like this. Yeah.
Thank you so much for watching, and we'll catch you next time on MarieTV.
Ready to find your voice and sell with heart? We'll show you how. Get started now with our
free writing class at TheCopyCure.com. Side effects include enlarged profits.
I haven't done this for – I haven't done this since sixth grade. Got it.
Two chefs and an astronaut. That's what we'll call this episode.