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  • FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, COUNTRYMEN, WINNING TO THE LATE SHOW, I AM

  • YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY FRIDAY.

  • I HAVE GOT GREAT NEWS.

  • OUR GOVERNMENT CONTINUES TO EXIST.

  • BECAUSE THIS WEEK THE SENATE PASSED A SPENDING BILL THAT

  • WOULD KEEP THE GOVERNMENT OPEN UNTIL DECEMBER.

  • BUT NO ONE IS SURE IF TRUMP WILL SIGN IT ESPECIALLY SINCE HE

  • TWEETED, I WANT TO KNOW WHERE IS THE MONEY FOR BORDER SECURITY

  • AND THE WALL IN THIS RIDICULOUS SPENDING BILL, AND WHERE WILL IT

  • COME FROM AFTER THE MIDTERMS?

  • >> Stephen: I AM GOING TO GUESS NOT FROM MEXICO? THE ONLY

  • THING -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • >> Stephen: THE ONLY THING TRUMP HAS BEEN ABLE TO BUILD SO

  • FAR ARE THE EIGHT WALL PROTOTYPES THAT WENT UP LAST

  • YEAR.

  • THEY ARE DIFFERENT SHAPES AND COLORS, THEY ARE LIKE ACCENT

  • WALLS.

  • BECAUSE THEY ARE TO KEEP OUT ANYONE WITH AN ACCENT.

  • >> OH, NOW!

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

  • >> THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

  • THE PRESIDENT LOVED THESE MINI WALLS WHEN HE VISITED THEM

  • EARLIER THIS YEAR.

  • >> I HAVE JUST COME FROM A TRIP TO THE BORDER WHERE I MET WITH

  • OUR WONDERFUL BORDER AGENTS, BORDER PATROL, AND THE ICE

  • AGENTS, UNBELIEVABLE PEOPLE, AND REVIEWED PROTOTYPES OF A NEW

  • PHYSICAL WALL THAT WILL PROTECT OUR BORDER AND PROTECT OUR

  • COUNTRY.

  • IT IS GOING TO BE VERY EFFECTIVE.

  • IT WILL BE 99.5 PERCENT SUCCESSFUL.

  • >> Stephen: IT TURNS OUT, HE WAS 100 PERCENT YANKING THAT OUT

  • OF HIS BUTT, BECAUSE A GOVERNMENT REPORT SHOWS THAT ALL

  • OF THE BORDER WALL DESIGNS CAN BE BROKEN, AND EVERY ONE OF THEM

  • WAS VULNERABLE TO AT LEAST ONE BREACHING TECHNIQUE, AND IN AT

  • LEAST ONE CASE CREWS WERE ABLE TO MAKE THE PROTOTYPE WALL

  • COMPLETELY UNSTABLE TO THE POINT OF COLLAPSE.

  • SO THE WALL FELL DOWN?

  • NOW WE KNOW THE CHANT FOR THE 2020 RALLIES.

  • REBUILD THE WALL!

  • PUT IT BACK UP!

  • MAYBE WITH SOME STRUTS OR DIG A DEEP MOAT OR SOMETHING!

  • TRUMP PUT SOME CROCODILES IN THE MOAT AND --

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Stephen: FILL THE MOAT.

  • FILL THE MOAT WITH GASOLINE AND MAKE THE CROCODILES FLAME PROOF.

  • TRUMP SEEMS TO THINK THAT WALLS ARE THE SOLUTION TO EVERY

  • PROBLEM BECAUSE SPAIN'S FOREIGN MINISTER JUST REVEALED THAT

  • TRUMP URGED HIM TO BUILD A WALL ACROSS THE SAHARA.

  • >> NO, NO.

  • >> Stephen: THE SAHARA DESERT, THE LARGEST DESERT IN THE WORLD,

  • YOU CAN'T CONSTRUCT A WALL IN THE DESERT.

  • BUILDING SOMETHING ON STAND IS LITERALLY THE METAPHOR FOR

  • INSTABILITY.

  • AFTER YOU BUILD THE WALL ON SAND, YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF A

  • BEAUTIFUL "HOUSE OF CARDS" TO LIVE IN.

  • MAYBE THE CARDS, THINK ABOUT THIS, MAYBE THE CARDS COULD BE

  • MADE OF GLASS AND KEEP YOUR STONE COLLECTION IN THERE.

  • DOES HE REALLY THINK -- DOES OUR PRESIDENT --

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Stephen: HUGE, HUGE FANS OF

  • METAPHOR HERE TONIGHT.

  • DOES OUR PRESIDENT REALLY THINK PEOPLE WHO TRUDGE THROUGH

  • 1,000 MILES OF THE MOST BRUTAL DESERT ON THE PLANET WILL GO,

  • WAIT, THERE'S A WALL.

  • DARN IT, OKAY.

  • THE LET'S GO BACK.

FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, COUNTRYMEN, WINNING TO THE LATE SHOW, I AM

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トランプは壁を建設したいと考えています...サハラ砂漠に (Trump Wants To Build A Wall... In The Sahara Desert)

  • 154 9
    Emily に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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