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  • Joining me tonight is the creator and star of Netflix's "F is for Family",

  • and one of the greatest comics ever. Please welcome back to the show, Mr. Bill Burr.

  • I don't know why I need the card here. I feel like we could do this without the card.

  • Did you watch the World Cup?

  • >>I watched some of the games. And then I watched the first half of the final.

  • You should watch the second half. It's way more important.

  • >>I didn't like the first goal! You should watch the second half. It's way more important.

  • >>I didn't like the first goal!

  • >>That f*ckin' guy flopped on the ground and then they gave him the kick and then it goes in...

  • >>...and he's jumpin' around with like no guilt

  • >>whatsoever and he's f*ckin' pointing at himself.

  • >>F*ck that guy. Dude, like, if I was that guy's dad

  • >>If I was his father and he did that--f*ck, don't ever f*ckin' do that again.

  • So, you're glad France won, right?

  • >>I love France, but I mean...

  • Really? Who loves France?

  • >>Yeah, it's great!

  • Oh god, I find it a painful bunch. I don't actually, I don't mind France--

  • >>Well it's nice you just don't like America.

  • Ohhh here we go.

  • >>Oh, here we go!

  • I don't dislike America--

  • >>Ah, if I see one more f*cking British or Australian c*nt hosting a show over here.

  • >>Sh*ttin' on America...

  • >>Jesus Christ.

  • >>Acting like you're squeegeeing our third eye. Really, Jim? Is it f*cked up? We didn't notice!

  • How are you, Bill Burr, telling me--

  • >>That should be a red flag right there that I'm telling you--

  • telling me that I'm a little bit curmudgeon-y. >>That should be a red flag right there that I'm telling you--

  • telling me that I'm a little bit curmudgeon-y.

  • >>That should be a red flag!

  • I always say about you, when they go, "What's Bill like?" and I go...

  • "He's gonna make an awesome 80 year old man."

  • You're gonna be the best f*cking guy at a nursing home going "Where's that other f*cking nurse, that other one was sh*t!"

  • "This one's stealin' my stuff!"

  • "I don't want the foreign woman. She complains too much!"

  • >>I love being old.

  • You just turned 50, how's that workin' out for ya?

  • >>It feels fine!

  • Yeah?

  • >>Yeah, I don't feel any different. Although I did 4 shows this weekend and I was tired.

  • >>And that never happens. I was like, tired from telling jokes and my back hurt.

  • >>So, maybe that is something.

  • You an exercising guy?

  • >>Yeah. I keep myself in--dude. You travel the country. For being 50, lookin' like this, I mean...

  • >>Most people blow out their bodies by the time they're like...

  • >>like 30. That's when I knew I was getting old 'cause I started meeting people on the road going "oh, this guy's got like 6 years on me"

  • >>And I'd be like, "how old are you?" He'd be like "28" and I'd be like "F*ck!"

  • I substance abuse the f*ck out of--I've been very open about cocaine use and alcohol and what not...

  • And then sometimes I meet people and it's like "I'm the same age as you!"

  • I'm like, what the f*ck happened to you?

  • I don't have good genes. My parents are unattractive people.

  • My mother f*ckin' pissed in that gene pool. Pissed in it!

  • >>I don't know, I really don't know what to do with that!

  • Nor do I!

  • >>Oh, I was gonna say something positive about drugs--

  • I've never heard anything negative!

  • >>There is something about if you did heroin at some point in your life, you have abs until you're like...70.

  • >>Have you noticed that? A lot of those rockstars--

  • And they get a lot of f*ckin' credit, heroin addicts.

  • Like, if they give up heroin people are like "you know he used to be on heroin, but he gave it up." They're like, "That's really impressive."

  • It's like if you give up smoking, everyone always praises you, like "well done giving up smoking".

  • No one ever compliments the c*nt who never smoked!

  • No one goes, "well done for avoiding that!"

  • They always get to the junkie and give him a hug, like, "you're a good person."

  • >>There's no movie, there's no arc. They're not living under a bridge.

  • I had a friend who was a junkie and now everyone praises him all the time. >>There's no movie, there's no arc. They're not living under a bridge.

  • I had a friend who was a junkie and now everyone praises him all the time.

  • And his lowest point was, he was at his grandmother's funeral and it was an open casket--

  • and he acted like he was crying over the coffin and he was stealing rings--

  • >>Oh wow.

  • And then he tells the story and he goes, "that's behind me", and then people are like

  • "I wanna marry that guy".

  • And you're like, "That's a f*ckin' piece of shit!"

  • >>Yeah. Yeah.

  • >>If he didn't do heroin, he would've been a banker or something.

  • >>Stealing old people's pensions or something like that. Yeah, I--

  • >>I know a guy with mental illness and he tries to blame it on mental illness all the time

  • >>and it's just like, "nah, dude. That was very...thought out..."

  • >>"...c*ntiness that you just did there, so. Stop acting like you're outside talking to a tree."

  • >>You're not that kind of crazy.

  • Alright, ladies and gentlemen, Bill Burr!

  • Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast can be heard every week on All Things Comedy. Thanks, Bill.

  • >>Yeah, man. I had a great time.

Joining me tonight is the creator and star of Netflix's "F is for Family",

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ビル・バー - ワールドカップ決勝戦 & 優雅に年を重ねる - ジム・ジェフリーズ・ショー (Bill Burr - The World Cup Final & Aging Gracefully - The Jim Jefferies Show)

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    林台雲 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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