B1 中級 4032 タグ追加 保存
Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite #myweirdroommate stories from you guys.
Here we go.
This first one is from @chrislilli.
He says, "I used to live with a guy who would put ketchup straight onto our glass coffee table to dip french fries in so he could avoid cleaning a dish."
[ Audience groans ]
[ Laughs ]
This one is from @MelLynn.
She says, "My roommate used to knock on my bedroom door in the middle of the night and when I opened it, she would say, 'Just checking'."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Okay. Just terrified.
This one is from @wyyyyyit.
How many Y's?
I think it's five Y's.
W-h-- -W-y-y-y-y-y-i-t.
-Wyyyyit. -Wyyyyit.
She says, "I wanted to get out of my apartment ASAP. I saw an ad that said,'Looking for a clean, quiet roommate.' I called the number. It was my roommate."
[ Audience oohs ]
Do you like piña coladas?
[ Chuckles ]
This next one's from @mahuls.
-Oh. Mahuls. -She said --
You know Mahuls?
Oh, Mahuls. I love Mahuls.
[ Laughter ]
No, that's not the non-alcoholic beverage that you drink.
Oh, it's not?
-That is O'Doul's. -Oh, that's O'Doul's.
It's okay. I'm sorry. I love O'Doul's.
Mahuls is a non-alcoholic bar.
-Non-alcoholic. [ Laughs ] -The whole bar, non-alcoholic.
That's actually a play land. It's a Gymboree.
-It's a Gymboree. -Gymboree for children.
Yeah, it's not even for adults. It's for children.
The ball pit.
It's a trampoline park.
-Yeah. -I don't want to get into it.
Lot of lawsuits.
[ Chuckles ] Lot of lawsuits.
(Because) there's no license.
No, zero licensing. And it's filthy.
Actually, it is a bar. It's a trampoline bar.
-Wait, it's a trampoline bar? -Anyways.
Yes, and there's a 6-foot pool in there, as well.
You could trampoline into the pool and drink.
It's awful. They should close it down.
I've been saying, "Please close Mahuls."
[ Laughter ]
I've always said that.
Oh, you've always said that. You have that tattoo.
This is -- I do.
I never get to see it.
-No, you can't see it. -That's the only --
-...That's the problem. -[ Laughing ] Yeah.
That's why I can't sleep at night.
I can't see most of my tattoos.
You should get a mirror that's a double mirror
so you can see yourself in the mirror backwards
so you can read your tattoos.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I think.
But I'm a vampire, so I can't even --
-...I don't have a reflection. -Oh, I forgot.
-I forgot. -I don't have a reflection.
- You don't understand what -- -You're Count Dracula Jr.
-[ As Sara ] You don't (even) understand what my life is like.
[ Laughter and applause ]
You don't even understand what my life is like!
Vampire with tattoos.
[ Normal voice ] All right. This is from @mahuls.
Oh. [ Laughter ]
She says, "My roommate would number her Kraft singles with a Sharpie so she'd know if we took one."
-Oh, God! -Oh!
That's that.
Uh, I'm missing, uh, singles 7 through 10.
[ Laughter ] -Did anybody eat those?
Anyone hungry?
That's what I thought.
[ Laughter ]
Someone's eating my cheese.
We're going to Mahuls.
We are going to Mahuls. Meet me there if you want to.
That's my last name.
-Yeah. -Oh, can you get us in?
No cover charge?
For three Kraft singles.
[ Laughter ]
[ Chuckles ] Because we're three crafty singles.
And a little cheesy.
[ Laughter and applause ]
All right. Let's just go.
[ Mumbles ]
Come on!
Oh, his tattoo is acting up.
Walking across the stage.
Waving goodbye.
Oh, my gosh!
You're taping this whole episode.
No, this is --
[ Laughter ]
Alexa, reco--
Alexa, record the To--
[ Thud ]
Uh, it wasn't Alexa.
It's felt tape.
Hey, this next one.
Who is it from?
This is from @paisleee.
Oh, I love her.
[ Laughter ]
She says, "There was a fire in our building at 4 a.m. Smoke filled the halls, but my roommate stopped to curl her hair in case a fireman saw her."
[ Laughter and applause ]
All right.
Are you November? [ Chuckles ]
[ Light laughter ]
Fireman calendar.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Fireman calendar reference, right?
-Classic bit. -November.
Jimmy names the fireman calendars.
[ Laughs ]
You see, on calendars --
Mr. November. That's what I meant to say.
This one's from @brianricci.
He says, "Every time my roommate laughs at something on TV, he looks at me to see if I'm laughing, too".
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
"I get it. Do you get it?" "No, I don't get it either."
"Do you think it's funny?"
This last one is from @mmmargolies.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
-M.M. -M.M.
M.M. Margolies.
[ Light laughter ]
[ As Mahna Mahna ] Mah-nay mah-nem.
♪ M.M. Margolies ♪
-Mah-nay mah-nem. -♪ Margolies, too ♪
-Mah-nay mah-nem. -♪ Margoo, Margolies ♪
♪ Margolies, Margolies ♪
♪ We're going to drink at mahuls ♪
[ Scatting ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] This last one's from @mmmargolies.
He says, "Once, I couldn't figure out why all my underwear was missing. I asked my roommate, and he pulled down his pants and said, "Looking for these?"
There you go.
Those are our "Tonight Show" Hashtags.
Check out more of our favorites.
Go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.



Hashtags: #MyWeirdRoommate

4032 タグ追加 保存
Evangeline 2018 年 11 月 13 日 に公開
  1. 1. クリック一つで単語を検索


  2. 2. リピート機能


  3. 3. ショートカット


  4. 4. 字幕の表示/非表示


  5. 5. 動画をブログ等でシェア


  6. 6. 全画面再生


  1. クイズ付き動画


  1. クリックしてメモを表示

  1. UrbanDictionary 俚語字典整合查詢。一般字典查詢不到你滿意的解譯,不妨使用「俚語字典」,或許會讓你有滿意的答案喔