[WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

GOHAN: Aaah!

Aaaaahh!!

Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!

GOKU: Good try, Gohan!

But you can't just power up and become a Super Saiyan.

It comes from pure, raw, emotion.

You know where *I* was when I became a Super Saiyan?

GOHAN: Yes, you--

GOKU: I was on Namek. I thought I'd finally defeated Freezer with the Spirit Bomb.

But as it turns out... he was *still alive*!

GOHAN: Dad, I was ther--

GOKU: He killed Vegeta, [This already happened]

and he killed Krillin,

GOHAN: I saw everythi--

GOKU: Piccolo...

tripped or... something...

It was pretty bad for everyone.

Then, he threatened to do the same to MY SON!

Oh hey, you were there!

Why didn't you go Super Saiyan? [JOE BIDEN: 'Cause it was a "Big Fucking Deal" at the time.]

GOHAN: (Sigh)

[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that's Ultra-Z)

♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Stop fisting me!

VEGETA: Okay.

SeP CELL: HURRHG! Not all at once!

Just... can I...

have a minute...?

VEGETA: Sure you can.

SeP CELL: Well, thank you. That's apprecia--

[

VEGETA: C-C-C-COMBO!

TRUNKS: (Sigh)

"ANDROID" 18: Wait, so I beat Vegeta...

ANDROID 16 [off-screen]: Data not found.

18: But now Vegeta is wrecking Cell...

16 [o-s]: Data not found.

18: Okay, do you have anything substantial to add to this?

16: ...Do you?

18: ...Data not found. [Translation: Touché.]

SeP CELL: Hurrrargh!

VEGETA: Ya know, maybe if you'd actually TRAINED instead of gorging yourself on a worthless species,

your punches might actually hit a little closer to home.

SeP CELL: (Cries of pain)

SeP CELL: (Cries of pain)

CELL'S ASS [as Imp. Cell]: Hahahaha, ah, this is an unfortunate turn of events. [Why would that be a design choice?]

VEGETA [genuinely disturbed]: Did you just... talk out your ass?

SeP CELL: Well... to be fair, Vegeta,

you are part of my DNA.

VEGETA: Oo, that is the closest thing you've done to damage since I've gotten here.

SeP CELL: Allow me to fix that...

KRILLIN: Is that Cell or Vegeta?

Dun' matter; steering clear o' that.

Except, if I were a bettin' boy, that's...

...probably where the Androids are.

Stealth Mode, don't fail me now.

SeP CELL: There we are.

Now,

do you understand, Vegeta?

VEGETA: What I understand is I'm about to pound you so hard, the boy's mother is going to be jealous. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TRUNKS: Oh, can we not?!

VEGETA: But, if it makes you feel any better, I'll give you one free shot.

But I'm warning you,

if you waste i--

SeP CELL: UURGH!

VEGETA: (Chuckling)

*you're gonna regret it*...

SeP CELL: ...How?

Hooww?!

How did you get this strong?!

VEGETA: I trained *all* day yesterday.

SeP CELL: Oh, you think you're being *cute*!

VEGETA: Bitch, I'm adorable.

SeP CELL: Fine!

Then how about THIS?!

GALICK GUN...

VEGETA: Hohoho, and that's just precious...

SeP CELL: FIRRRRE!!!

TENSHINHAN: So we're *actually* rooting for Vegeta?

PICCOLO: Let's be honest - we're rooting *against* Cell.

TENSHINHAN: What do we do if he wins?

PICCOLO: Which one?

TENSHINHAN: Which one is worse? [That's a little harsh...]

BABY TRUNKS: (Making baby noises) BULMA: Ya know, Vegeta might be...

...*is* a total ass,

but he's not *that* bad. [Come again?]

TENSHINHAN: Says the woman he left a single mother. [Indeed.]

BULMA: Please, I'm rich; it's hardly the same.

PICCOLO: Really, him leaving was probably for the best.

BABY TRUNKS: Wohhh... BULMA: Wow! Really?!

PICCOLO: What? Would you really trust Vegeta with a baby?

BULMA: Well, not *my* baby...

TENSHINHAN: And there you go.

SeP CELL: '"Look at me, I'm Vegeta! I'm the Prince of all Saiyans!"

'"And I both wear, and *am*, a unitar--"'

VEGETA: You call THAT a Galick Gun?

Dear God, get it together.

SeP CELL: I WILL END YOU!

VEGETA: You'll die trying.

SeP CELL: (Screaming in D#)

(Screaming in G)

(Screaming in C)

KRILLIN: 'Eesh... somehow I actually feel kinda bad for *Cell*...'

'Oh well, should probably start lookin' for the Androids.'

'Aaand found 'em.'

'Man, I am REALLY good at this...'

'Okay, Krillin...'

'Mission...'

'Mission... (Gulp)...'

'Mission... (Gulp)... *Start*.'

VEGETA: I know I kicked him into the water somewhere...

Damn it, he's pulling a bald one on me and hiding his energy...

Urgh, if I were a disgusting bug-man, where would I--

SeP CELL: SURPRISE!

Looky what I caught!

A walking, talking Napoleon complex. [He's not wrong. :P]

Huurgh...!

VEGETA: And looky what I caught!

SeP CELL: Oh no, *not again*!

VEGETA: So, what do you do with this... *thing*?

SeP CELL: I screw people!

VEGETA: Were you trying to screw me?

SeP CELL: N-n... no!

...Yes.

(Groans in pain)

Raarhhg--!

VEGETA: You feel that?

That's what honesty feels like.

SeP CELL: This... this is all wrong...

You can't be this strong!

Nothing about this makes sense!

VEGETA: Well if THAT'S wracking your brain, try drinking this in:

It may pain me to say it, but the boy over there is actually almost as strong as I am.

Then again, unlike you,

he's HALF me.

SeP CELL: What?!

VEGETA: 'Course the other half is his mother...

I mean, look at that hair!

TRUNKS: I-- VEGETA: YOU LOOK LIKE A FRUIT!

VEGETA: YOU LOOK LIKE A FRUIT!

TRUNKS: Y-you--

VEGETA: And not like a homosexual, I mean like a literal, walking fruit!

...EGGPLANT!

SeP CELL: DAMN IIIIIIIT!

I want to be perfect!

I wanna!

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna--

[muffled] I wanna-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa...

VEGETA: Excellent, I've broken both your body *and* your spirit.

Time to die.

SeP CELL: If only you had showed up just a minute later...

I would've had Eighteen...

Then NOBODY could've stopped me!

VEGETA: ...Oh really?

TRUNKS: Nooo...

SeP CELL: Vegeta...

I would've destroyed you without a second thought...

TRUNKS: ...Nooo!

[I think we all know what his answer is...]

VEGETA: ...Go on.

TRUNKS: NooooOOOO--!

[DBZ intermission (post-commercial)]

GOKU: Aaah...

GOHAN: Aaah...

You know, Dad,

it's honestly been kinda nice training with you.

GOKU: Right? I like training too.

GOHAN: Hm...

GOKU: But even though we're taking a nice, soothing bath,

we can't hold back.

We have to stay training at all times.

Soooo...

Splash attack!

GOHAN: Hu-ha-ha-ha-ha...!

Alright, then - here I go!

[Laughing and splashing]

GOKU [o-s]: Got you there! [Laughing and splashing]

[Laughing and splashing]

KAME

HAME

GOHAN [o-s] Dad, no!

GOKU [o-s]: No holding back!

HAA!

VEGETA: Hey, puny Earth-whelps!

If you liked what you saw, be sure to show it by clicking that like button down there.

And if you wanna see MORE of my greatness,

be sure to click the subscribe button to stay updated.

And if you wanna see what it would be like if I, the Prince of all Saiyans

were to waste my precious training time on some video games,

then you should click that Renegade for Life button right there.

Or if you want to see something ELSE video game-related,

be sure to click the Final Fantasy 7 Machinabridged button.

Ha! Look at that Super Saiyan wannabe...

Now if you'll excuse me,

I need to figure out what that big-lipped bug-man was going on about...

{MLB}