holds a lot of press briefings, but I don't think they've asked

all the questions we need answers to,

so we decided to hold another one right here, right now.

That's right, Sarah Huckabee Sanders

and the "Late Night" press corps are here in our studio

and ready to go, so without further ado,

it's time for the "Late Night White House Press Briefing."

♪♪♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Madam Secretary! Madam Secretary!

Yes, yes, Ms. Sanders, thank you.

Seth Meyers, "Late Night with Seth Meyers."

Secretary Sanders, would you like to open

with some nonsense to try and distract us

from the fact that the world is burning?

-We're excited to announce today that Natalie

and her 8-year-old cousin Celia

will be coming to the White House on March 23rd

to work with the White House kitchen staff.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-That's good nonsense.

Moving on, President Trump fired Rex Tillerson today.

What did he do during his time at the White House?

-Served out his 12-month sentence.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-When President Trump is hiring someone for his staff,

what does he want to see on their résumé?

-Organized in transnational crime,

gang violence, and other crimes.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-There seems to be a lot of chaos

in the White House these days.

What's going inside Trump's head right now?

-I would never presume to understand

anything going on with that individual.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Has -- [ Cheers continue ]

Has the Stormy Daniels scandal

caused Trump to curb his adulterous behavior?

-President Trump's position on trophy hunting remains the same.

[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]

-If you wanted to hide something

where nobody would ever find it, where would you put it?

-Under President Trump's leadership.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-What does Melania hope to accomplish

during her time as First Lady?

-The goal is to get free.

[ Laughter ]

-What's been, of all of them -- out of every single experience,

what's been your favorite moment

of working in the White House so far?

-None of them. [ Laughter ]

-What will happen if Stormy Daniels

releases those lurid photos?

-We're gonna look. [ Laughter ]

-Just for scheduling purposes, when is the impeachment?

-The event will take place Monday, April 2nd,

on the South lawn.

Families with children 13 years old and younger

are invited to join.

-Oh, that's great. [ Cheers and applause ]

Fun for the whole family.

-Does working in this White House

age people prematurely?

-I'm 11 years old, almost 12.

[ Laughter ] -Hmm.

Wow.

When President Trump got married,

did he mean it when he said "Till death do us part"?

-The President was clearly joking.

[ Laughter ]

-Is it true that President Trump

got a new snow-cone machine for the Oval Office?

-ISIS is being crushed like it wasn't before.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Sorry. Did you say ice or ISIS?

[ Laughter and applause ]

All right.

Can you finish this popular children's nursery rhyme?

♪♪ If you're happy and you know it... ♪♪

-Get a warrant to spy on American citizens.

[ Laughter ]

-Any ideas for a "Home Alone" reboot?

-Kevin should be preventing terrorists and contraband

from entering the nation.

[ Laughter ]

-[ Chuckles ] Last question.

Where does Melania pretend she is

when she makes love to her husband?

-Under Obama.

-O-o-o-o-o-o-okay! [ Cheers and applause ]

Looks like we're out of time, so on behalf of the rest

of the press corps, have a good night.