>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Juan!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Maria?

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I love you so much mi amor.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: So? We can't be together.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What do you mean?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Literally nobody wants us to be together.

>> BOYS: No. No we no likey. No.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I don't care. Let's run away together!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Run away? I got Bachelorette at 8 o'clock.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Tomorrow's even worse. It's Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

I gotta see that episode.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I don't care!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: You gotta calm down.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Remember the first time when we met.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: No.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: White dress?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: You're always some wearing some [BLEEP], I don't remember.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Think!

[MUSIC]

[GUYS TALKING]

[MUSIC]

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Hola.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What's up mamí?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Oh. [MARIA SANCHEZ SCREAMING]

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: And from that moment on, I knew that you were one. And I knew that...

[JUAN DIEGO JR. III LAUGHING]

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I'm sorry, okay. What? You love me? What else? Sorry.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Do you even love me?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Of course I love you. Calm down.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You never take me out!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I took you to Starbucks this morning.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: That wasn't me!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: It wasn't? All you Latina's look alike, come on, I'm sorry.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Like Camilla?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, one time.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Isabella? Valentina? Anna?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Oh, I think I saw Anna last night, actually.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What about Paula?

[MUSIC]

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I really love your sister. Maria, is the love of my life.

>> PAOLA CERNY: Shut up.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Paola!

>> PAOLA CERNY: Maria!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Juan.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: How can you do this to me Juan?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: It's not what it looks like, it's not, I mean she's pretty hot. She's disgusting. I don't even like her.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You're cheating on me with my sister!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Nothing even happened!

I mean I'm down if you're down.

Low key if you're down. I'm down.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: It's me or her!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What are you talking about? You of course, I love you.

[SLAP SOUND]

Ah, okay, you [BLEEP].

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What? [SLAP SOUND]

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Ow, okay I choose me! [BLEEP].

>> PAOLA CERNY: Or does he?

[MUSIC]

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: ¡Desgracia!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: OH!

[MUSIC]

>> PAOLA CERNY: [BLEEP]!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: OH!

[MARIA & PAOLA SCREAMING]

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Get her.

[MARIA & PAOLA SCREAMING]

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Oh. I remember that now.

She's so...

smart.

Come on don't be mad. Just come on, look at me. I love you.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You love me?

You see that we're meant to be.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, whatever.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Let's say one word and I promise we'll think of the same one.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, right now?

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Ready?

>> MARIA SANCHEZ & JUAN DIEGO JR. III: One. Two. Three.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Love. >> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Jennifer Lopez...love.

Love.

[SLAP SOUND]

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Jennifer Lopez?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: No, no no. Love.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Okay besides all these Latina [BLEEP] the only person that's against us is my father.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What do you mean? Your dad loves me.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: My dad hates you!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Are you sure?

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Look.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Papí, can I be with him?

>> MARIA'S FATHER: Of course.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: No! Papí.

>> MARIA'S FATHER: But little girl, I'm telling you to freaking be with him!

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Yeah, but I love him!

>> MARIA'S FATHER: I like him too! He has money.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Why are you trying to separate us? >> MARIA'S FATHER: I'm not trying.

>> MARIA'S FATHER: I don't want to separate you!

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Please don't do this to me! Please. I'm gonna run away!

>> MARIA'S FATHER: You run away with him!

Gloria! Bring the holy water!

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Please!

>> MARIA'S FATHER: What the [BLEEP]?

[MARIA SANCHEZ SCREAMING] >> MARIA'S FATHER: Gloria! Be with him!

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: You see? I told you.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: You act like I'm the only crazy one.

What about that crazy guy who was always in love with you?

>> CARLOS GONZALES: Who? Me?

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Holy [BLEEP]

What are you a [BLEEP] ninja turtle?

Are you flexing and pointing the gun at her at the same time?

>> CARLOS GONZALES: Yeah bro. Always.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Then why is there an orange thing on that gun?

You know how many YouTube comments that you're gonna get saying that's fake.

>> CARLOS GONZALES: If I can't be with her, nobody can!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Don't point the gun at her. You're freaking me out.

Woah. Put it back on her. [BLEEP].

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Hey, hey hey. You love me.

>> CARLOS GONZALES: I love her.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Okay, bros before hoes, come on.

>> CARLOS GONZALES: That's true. >> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Bro. Come on.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I know your mother.

>> CARLOS GONZALES: That's true, she does.

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I, I know your mom too, but I probably [BLEEPED] your mom.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: What?!

[GUN SHOT]

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: No! >> CARLOS GONZALES: Lele!

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: Juan!

I'm sorry!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: I'm not gonna die, it's just a little thing.

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I have to tell you something!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: What?

>> MARIA SANCHEZ: I'm pregnant!

No!

>> JUAN DIEGO JR. III: Can you stop yelling [BLEEP]?

[EXIT MUSIC]