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  • Ahoy Mateys

  • let me check my phones charging

  • because I've done that before and that's a bloody ball ache!

  • Hi! So,

  • in today's video I thought it would be nice to- oh God.

  • It's gonna be one of those videos where the sun comes in and goes away again.

  • It's gonna drive me crazy!

  • Why you doin' this?

  • Nooooo, okay its going- no its not. F*ck it.

  • Not too long ago I did a video called... Questions I've Never Answered, or something like that,

  • and you guys loved it, I loved filming it,

  • erm, and I did say I was gonna do a part two,

  • so guess what!?

  • It's part two time.

  • First question is from Rebecca, who says,

  • "Would you still be a YouTuber if it wasn't your job and you didn't get paid for it?"

  • And the answer to that question is, very simply, yes, I would still be making videos if it wasn't my job and I didn't get paid,

  • because for a really long time, that is what I did it for.

  • Erm, I had previous jobs whilst I started doing YouTube, and I was getting paid no money for YouTube at all,

  • and I still enjoyed it just as much as I enjoy it now, so I know for sure if they took away any chance of making money from views, or...

  • I dunno, I lost...

  • 11 million subscribers, I would still make videos,

  • because I still really enjoy it.

  • The fact that I'm able to make money from it is a huge, huge bonus,

  • but that's not what drives me to make videos.

  • Jess said, "If you had gone to uni, what would you have studied?"

  • This one's a little bit difficult because I was a very lost teen.

  • I did not know what i wanted to do. There was a lot of areas I enjoyed in school,

  • and there was a lot of subjected that I liked,

  • i.e., photography, art, and textiles.

  • I felt a bit lost because the things I enjoyed were very creative, and...

  • I didn't feel as though I knew the different pathways I could go

  • with those creative, kind of, loves of mine.

  • It was almost like, 'Okay if I like textiles, does that mean I have to be a fashion designer?

  • If I like photography I have to be a photographer.'

  • Erm...

  • and I guess that could have just been my lack of research,

  • or possibly just lack of careers advice in school, I'm not really sure.

  • I've just personally felt very lost being a creative person and not knowing exactly

  • what I wanted to do within those creative fields.

  • I did actually go to a couple of interviews for...

  • was it art or textiles?

  • I feel like it was art?

  • I can't actually remember. Maybe it was textiles, I think it was fashion design or something.

  • And I went to the interviews,

  • and it was actually in the interview that I realised, I didn't want to do fashion design. Basically in the interview they were like,

  • "Tell us why you would be great here and why you are so passionate about this." And I struggled.

  • And I was like, I don't really know if I am. I just feel like I've been, like, cornered into this direction,

  • and that was like the biggest eye opener, because in that interview I realised,

  • a, uni was not for me, and b, I didn't know what I wanted to do,

  • which was one of the biggest reasons uni wasn't for me, because I was like,

  • if I don't know what I wanna do, there's no point going to uni and racking up, like,

  • a huge student loan that I will need to pay off in the career I have no idea what- what is going to be.

  • So, to answer your question, Jess, I don't know

  • if I'd gone to uni what I would have studied, because...

  • I never really got to that point.

  • I thought I did. But I didn't.

  • Things I do enjoy are interior design, which I did go on to do an apprenticeship with instead of going to uni.

  • I dunno! I- It would have definitely been a creative subject.

  • I just wish I had researched more into different areas of those creative subjects.

  • *door bell rings*

  • Oh no, there's someone at the bloody door!

  • Filming a Q&A!

  • Channy said, "Do you feel that sometimes you want to live a life without YouTube and fame or otherwise?

  • The really short answer to this is, yes. Sometimes I would like to live that life,

  • but it's so deep and complex,

  • and the sun is so bright, damn it.

  • Like I said in my other video,

  • it's- this is such a strange topic. I was actually talking to my friend about this the other day.

  • And I feel ungrateful...

  • ever saying I don't enjoy...

  • the perks that have come with what I do.

  • It makes me feel ungrateful. And I can't help that.

  • And I know there'll be so many people that say,

  • 'Of course you're allowed to have days where you don't enjoy being stopped,'

  • or 'Of course you're allowed to have days where you wish people didn't turn up at your house and ask for selfies.' And, like,

  • 'Of course you're allowed to feel those things, because you never knew they would happen to you.'

  • But...

  • I still hate saying them out of my mouth. I hate...

  • people thinking I'm ungrateful. Because I am eternally grateful

  • for everything that has come out of doing this.

  • But of course, I would be lying if I did not say that sometimes I wish it was slightly different.

  • I dunno. If I'm having, like, an off day,

  • and I just wish my life was different for that day, or..

  • something happens, and I'm like,

  • 'This is a result of what I do and I wish that didn't happen.'

  • But of course,

  • I would never change anything. I would never change how this journey has happened, or,

  • any of the, like,

  • amazingly positive, happy experiences, and

  • things I've been able to do, but of course there are days where...

  • I struggle with it.

  • Um...

  • and, yeah.

  • A couple of years ago,

  • I actually very nearly stopped. Like,

  • altogether stopped.

  • I don't think anyone would have guessed it.

  • Because I still vlogged, and if I wasn't vlogging, I was probably in Alfie's vlog because he films every day.

  • And...

  • I really struggled. Like, really, really struggled. I think it was the lowest point-

  • yeah, like, one of the lowest points of my entire life.

  • And it wasn't about...

  • this whole thing. It was more about...

  • me not feeling like I could handle it, or that

  • I was worthy of it, or...

  • um, and, like, the pressure of everything just got so much.

  • Like, I was put on this pedestal, and,

  • reminded daily that I was a role model, and you shouldn't do that, and you should be saying this,

  • and you should do that, and all those things can feel so suffocating,

  • um, that I nearly stopped.

  • Like, I was just like,

  • in fact, my manager was like,

  • 'It's your call. Do you wanna pull the plug?' And I was like, 'I need to think about it.'

  • And that's crazy to me, that I was that close...

  • to stopping this. Because I wanted to just be Zoe, I think.

  • In that moment I got so suffocated by

  • everything that was going on, and, you know, am I really cut out for this? Like,

  • I'm quite a...

  • I'm a small gal from a little village, and all of a sudden it's just like, whoa, this is a lot. And...

  • I said no to everything, I didn't wanna do anything anymore,

  • and I kind of, like, retreated a bit. And...

  • that was a- that was hard. Because I love doing this so much.

  • But it was like, the more I was doing it,

  • the more followers I got, the more-

  • everything became more and more and more, and I was like,

  • I- I genuinely just woke up and was like, I don't want to have this many subscribers.

  • I- I want to go back to...

  • having, like, one million. One million was such a comfy, cosy-

  • like, that sounds so ridiculous because to some people, they could only ever dream of having a million subscribers.

  • But it was like, I was-

  • my subscribers kept growing and growing and growing, and that terrified me.

  • Because I was like,

  • If my life is already a little bit more crazy than I can handle at this many,

  • what's it gonna be like if it carries on growing?

  • And would just be like, 'I just wish I had...

  • a million again. Like, I just want, like, a safe number.'

  • Um...

  • Obviously now my head space is completely different. But...

  • yeah. I don't want anyone to, like, judge me for that.

  • Because I know there's gonna be people that's like, 'Oh, it's not hard, it's not hard.'

  • And yeah, there's always gonna be people that think, 'How could you have felt like that?' You know,

  • like, and I get that. And there's nothing you can say to those people.

  • 'Cause they will always think that way. But...

  • if you were living as me through that time,

  • I think that's the only way you could have ever known what it was really like.

  • I don't even think, like, my friends and family really knew,

  • because it was all in my head.

  • One really cool thing that did come out of that, though,

  • was that I...

  • when I was at this point where I was struggling with the, like,

  • fame stuff, I hate the word 'fame,' and, like, 'famous', but,

  • when I was struggling with that stuff, um,

  • Cameron Diaz actually Skyped me.

  • *shouts hello* Hey!

  • I'm just filming!

  • And that is something I have never shared before. But, it was...

  • such a huge help. She...

  • Skyped me for, like, an hour and a half, and we just talked. And she,

  • like, coached me. She basically gave me the best tips

  • that I have carried with me in order to...

  • get back to a good place, I think. And also just to put some perspective on it all. Like,

  • it is weird being well-known. It's weird. It's not something that you can learn anywhere.

  • So to have her give up some of her time to speak to me...

  • meant the world to me. And she is honestly one of just the loveliest people in the world.

  • And now I am much more confident. I am much more happy, I'm much more settled. I feel like...

  • my mind hadn't quite caught up with the speed everything was happening. But now I feel like

  • I'm there. We're matched.

  • And I've learned not to really care anymore.

  • You know? It's my life,

  • I can choose to live it how I want to live it.

  • If you're another content creator and you're struggling with, like, being stopped in the street or, like, being well-known,

  • hit me up. Because I actually have- I've learned a lot of things.

  • Does that make me sound really, like,

  • big-headed? I don't think so. I think I've just, like, experienced it, so I can share my, like,

  • I can share my journey, I guess. And that might help other people. Because just like Cameron did with me,

  • I feel like I might be able to help other people if they were experiencing that also. I dunno.

  • I think it's nice to share that...

  • experience and knowledge.

  • Because it's not something you can really Google. *chuckles*

  • That was a really long answer. I'm sorry.

  • Whitney said, 'What's your blood type?'

  • D'you know?

  • I don't know.

  • Should you know what your blood type is?

  • Mum? Dad? Do you know what my blood type is?

  • I probably should know that.

  • I'm just filming a Q and A.

  • [Alfie:] Ah!

  • I've had the most amount of distractions in this video.

  • [Alfie:] Sorry. I thought you were just chatting to yourself.

  • No.

  • *laughs* When do I ever just sit and chat to myself?

  • AdoringJasper says "Do you ever regret doing things off YouTube, like books, beauty products etc.?

  • Have you ever felt like you've lost focus on YouTube?"

  • I do not regret doing those things because some of those things have been the most exciting...

  • big projects.

  • It's quite nice to have things to work on, like ongoing things to work on

  • with, like, deadlines and, um,

  • big, like, releases and...

  • things that I'm able to also share with people

  • offline.

  • Do you know what I mean? Like, I quite like that there's that difference, you know?

  • You've got the online thing and then you've got little pieces of you that you're able to share with other people.

  • And I really like that aspect.

  • Those things are great because you have to be on the ball, and I think those things have

  • given me more experience and knowledge of owning a business.

  • And I think those things have been really fulfilling for, like, my mid-twenties.

  • So, I've enjoyed that, and I've enjoyed...

  • kind of, more of the, like, running business side of things, and like,

  • how different that is to sitting down and making a video.

  • But I don't think it's ever made me lose focus of YouTube.

  • YouTube is always, like, my fun, kind of thing.

  • I enjoy this. Like, this doesn't feel like work to me.

  • Sitting down, filming this video for you guys, does not feel like work.

  • It doesn't feel like a business venture. It's just fun.

  • Um, but it does mean sometimes my schedule is crazier,

  • because I have other things to be working on, and those things take up a lot more time than I ever thought they would.

  • Um, and that might mean, there's like,

  • less vlogs sometimes, or more vlogs in some cases

  • because I get to, like, film those things and share them with you.

  • But, I think finding a balance is quite difficult, but...

  • I love doing all of it so,

  • that's the only route, finding a balance was the only option.

  • "How does Alfie help you through your anxiety and if you had any exes who were exceptionally supportive...

  • or dismissive of your anxiety."

  • And that was by "Sugg-ulent"

  • Um, Alfie is very supportive with my anxiety, thank goodness,

  • but I have had exes who were not. at. all.

  • And that is very difficult. I think...

  • having something like anxiety is always difficult for someone who you are the closest with.

  • Um, whether that is a friend, or a family member, or your partner.

  • It's always hard on them, because they're the ones that see it at its worst,

  • and they can't do anything, apart from show their support in a way that you would like them to.

  • You can give them helpful advice on what they can do to help you.

  • Which is something I...

  • never did before. I just thought, 'Well they should know how to help.'

  • And it's like, well why would they? Unless they actually have anxiety themselves,

  • and in a lot of cases anxiety is so different for everyone,

  • there will be no one that experiences...

  • my anxiety exactly how I experience it anywhere else in the world.

  • It will always be slightly different. It might be about the same thing, but it will vary.

  • Um, and so how can you ever expect someone else to know exactly what to do unless you tell them?

  • I think if someone genuinely cares about you,

  • they will want to do anything they can to help you.

  • And that's the difference between Alfie and some of my exes, I think.

  • *laughs* I think it was a hindrance...

  • for some. It was annoying. It was like, 'Well, why have you left the pub? I don't understand.'

  • 'Why can't you come with me to this?'

  • And it's...

  • for some people it's very hard to grasp.

  • And that's just a general thing with mental health.

  • Some people just can't understand...

  • mental health, or they can't understand why anyone would feel that way.

  • Which I think must be a lovely position to be in,

  • because it means they've never experienced it in any form.

  • And that's great. Um...

  • But I think it is important for people to open their minds slightly, I think.

  • Um, and be a little more empathetic, sympathetic...

  • uh, towards how other people might struggle with something sometimes, and generally speaking,

  • everyone around me now is, uh, very supportive.

  • Oh, I've got a missed call. Who's that from?

  • "How do you actually deal with things like bitchy people, etc.?

  • Like, how do you go about rising above it?"

  • I actually did see Louise tweet...

  • a quote, which is one of my favourite quotes. I have seen it somewhere before, but she's reminded me,

  • because she literally tweeted it yesterday,

  • and I feel like this is the best thing to reply to this.

  • I'm not gonna lie, it took me a good...

  • five years to not care about what people said about me.

  • And it's human nature to see one horrible thing that's been said about you,

  • and to really think about that.

  • But you just have to focus on the positive, and...

  • I dunno. I sort of stopped caring about what people said.

  • Like, I can read it and it doesn't, like, it doesn't affect me in the same way, because...

  • I'm so aware there are so many people in this world,

  • and so many different...

  • life manuals. Which is something my therapist actually told me about.

  • Everyone has a different life manual. And...

  • we all...

  • and in our life manuals are things that we have grown up knowing,

  • things we have experienced, religions, um...

  • certain opinions on things, and everyone's is different.

  • And sometimes you're gonna meet someone who has such a different manual to you

  • that it's like, you- it doesn't even, like, compute. You're just like, 'heh?'

  • But that's because that's them speaking from what they know. And I've sort of...

  • I dunno, that's really helped me. Because it doesn't mean they're evil people,

  • it doesn't mean they're horrible. It just means...

  • they think differently to you. And that's not...

  • necessarily awful, it's just...

  • that's the way their mind works. And actually, I don't know them.

  • And I'm never gonna meet them.

  • And they don't know me, really. They've seen my videos maybe, or they've watched one,

  • or they've seen a tweet and they've made a judgment, but they don't really know me. And...

  • therefore, I don't attach that same...

  • feelings...

  • towards a negative tweet or comment anymore. I dunno.

  • It's the nicest thing. It's like swimming against the tide

  • for so long, and then all of a sudden, the sun comes out, and the sea is calm, and you're like, 'Oh.'

  • That's weird. I just don't care anymore.

  • The quote is:

  • "Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep."

  • And I love that. Because...

  • you're a lion, and those people saying things about you that don't know you, or...

  • you know, don't matter, are sheep.

  • And that's what you have to remember.

  • I liked this one. Georgia said,

  • "Have you ever been attacked by a fan?"

  • No. *laughs*

  • Thankfully, everyone I've ever met has been super lovely.

  • Caroline said, "If you could ask Nala one question and she would answer, what would it be?"

  • Ooh.

  • That's a good question. I have no idea.

  • 'Do you love me or Alfie more?'

  • *evil chuckle*

  • Shauna said, "Have-" Hi, Shauna. I've actually met Shauna before.

  • There's one fan that was lovely to me.

  • "Have you ever wanted to make different content but held back because of your younger viewers?"

  • I love this question, because everyone has this- not everyone. I say everyone. It's not.

  • It's mostly media and...

  • some people, I think, have this real misconception

  • that my audience is all very young.

  • But it's not. It's actually not. My core audience is 18-24 by quite a big... chunk.

  • I think it can appear younger because most commenters are younger,

  • people that use Twitter the most are younger,

  • um, meet-ups, events, book signings,

  • are mostly the younger audience. And...

  • uh, I guess people that buy merch are mostly young.

  • I think the younger ones make the most noise. I think that's what I'm trying to say.

  • But my core audience is 18-24. So...

  • with that in mind, I'm so aware that my audience ranges

  • from as young as, like, seven, which...

  • is crazy young,

  • to, like, people my mum's age who I know watch my videos,

  • or people I've met in the street who have their own children who love watching my videos. So it's...

  • it's too much of a broad spectrum...

  • for me to think about it. When I make these videos, I do not think

  • about who is watching them in regards to age.

  • I think it becomes too difficult when you start thinking about...

  • the exact individual that could be watching.

  • And I feel like that can really change...

  • who you are. And I've never wanted to do that. So, any video I ever make,

  • I'm making it because I want to make it.

  • I'm saying the things I wanna say, because I wanna say them.

  • The only thing I do do is beep swear words, because...

  • a, because I know my mum doesn't like it when I swear, *laughs*

  • and b, because I'm aware that there are younger people,

  • but I wouldn't take the swear word out.

  • I wouldn't remove the fact I swore. But I would beep it.

  • Just in case. *door squeaks* Although the occasional one does slip through.

  • [Alfie:] Are you filming a Q&A or a documentary?

  • I'm filming a documentary, I think.

  • So in short, to answer your question,

  • no. Nothing I ever do is thinking of a certain age.

  • Everything I do, I do because I want to do it, and I'm happy with every decision I make.

  • And...

  • I think it would be weird- I would personally find it really weird to

  • think too much about a certain age. I think it would...

  • it would play on my mind, I would change how I would wanna say things,

  • but I'm so happy with everything I ever upload, anything I ever...

  • put on a shelf, everything I do,

  • I love, and I do it because I want to do it.

  • I don't do it with anyone specific in mind.

  • Corina says, "Why are your earnings such a secret?"

  • I think, in all walks of life,

  • people don't really talk about the money they earn in that kind of, like, openness.

  • But also, I feel like it's no secret that YouTubers can earn good money.

  • But it would be wrong of me to ever state how much,

  • because then, for someone else who might want to keep it a bit more private, it kind of gives it away.

  • I would never want to be like, 'Here's what I earned last year', because a, it's just- why would I-

  • why would you need to? And...

  • b, because there could be someone else of a similar size to my channel

  • who might not want anyone to know, and by me revealing that,

  • I'm then sort of revealing what they could be making. And... I dunno. Like,

  • I'm happy to talk about it with, like, friends and family,

  • like, it's not that it's like this big thing that we're, like,

  • we've been told never to do. It's just...

  • why would you want to? I don't know. We all know YouTubers can earn a lot of money.

  • Like, I was able to buy this house, which is amazing.

  • But it's not...

  • I think the media try and make it, like, this big thing,

  • and can I just also point out, the media have never got it right.

  • There was an article out recently that said that people can get £240,000 on Instagram. I mean,

  • that would be great, but that is not what happens.

  • Also I think it's very hard to know how much money someone has,

  • because you could have millions and millions and millions of pounds

  • but you might not spend it, so how would you ever know if- how much anyone really earns anyway?

  • Or you could have barely anything but spend it all, all the time.

  • There's now way of knowing. There's no way of guessing, I think is the right way of saying that.

  • SpookilessBrooke said, "I'm very curious about how you felt in your first photo shoots.

  • Were you scared or excited? I would love to know."

  • Scared.

  • I was so scared at my first photo shoots.

  • I am not a model. I don't know poses. I don't know how to look

  • to really, like, accentuate my body shape, or to look good. Or I don't know...

  • how to pose myself to make a great photo. Um...

  • so... I don't actually remember what my first photo shoot was.

  • Company Magazine.

  • Front cover of Company Magazine. I was really nervous. I...

  • was so anxious to do that shoot.

  • And also, you're sort of...

  • letting someone else dress you in something that you wouldn't normally wear,

  • so you- it's not that you even feel your most confident.

  • Um, I have been on shoots before where...

  • they've done my hair how I wouldn't normally do it, but I'm like,

  • 'This looks amazing. And I feel so confident.'

  • And that can really drive a shoot.

  • If you feel confident in what they've put you in, or how they've done your makeup or how they've done your hair,

  • it completely changes how well a shoot goes.

  • But, if you're feeling really out of your comfort zone anyway,

  • and then they put you in something that you would never normally wear, and you're like, 'Ooh, I'm just not sure,'

  • that can be quite difficult.

  • But if you've got a good photographer,

  • you'll always feel comfortable, and they will tell you the best ways to, like, be in order to look the best.

  • And also, no one's ever gonna wanna use a photo of you that doesn't look good.

  • I feel like. It might not be your favourite, and it might not be an angle that you like, but...

  • um...

  • they generally know what looks good. So I just kind of...

  • hope for the best and let them do their job.

  • I do this thing where, when I first get on a shoot, I can't- I, like, keep my hands very close to me,

  • and I'm standing in these photos with my hands like this.

  • Like,

  • and then eventually over time, the hands, like,

  • come away, and then I'm like,

  • Work it! Work it!

  • Jokes. I still don't know what I'm doing. It might look like I do, but...

  • Okay, I think I'm gonna stop there, because I feel like that is so many questions,

  • and, as Alfie rightly pointed out,

  • this is pretty much like a documentary right now,

  • or, like, the longest interview I've ever done.

  • Huh?

  • [Alfie, from afar:] Feature-length film.

  • Feature-length film. Literally.

  • I really hope you guys enjoyed this video,

  • and that it gave you a little bit more of an insight.

  • If there are any other questions that you feel like I've missed,

  • or something you would really love to know,

  • there was someone who said 'I'd love to know more about, like, the business side,' so if you have any questions about that, or, like,

  • products, or anything, then let me know and I can do either, like,

  • a blog post where I can write down all my answers,

  • or I can do another one of these if you really enjoy them.

  • Just let me know in the comments.

  • And give the video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it,

  • and I hope you're having a splendid week so far, and I'll see you again very soon!

  • Bye!

Ahoy Mateys

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私が答えたことのない質問 Pt.2|ゾエラ (Questions I've Never Answered Pt. 2 | Zoella)

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    19241337 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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